The Dowdney Diaries

Onto the New Year!

2012-01-18T14:10:00.000-08:00

So, here we are, moving into 2012...but before doing so let me recap Thanksgiving and Christmas for the Dowdney's in 2011.

We had Thanksgiving at Kelli's Parents house in Palestine, and Kaysi and Robbie met us there. My Mom and Dad drove down to meet us too and stayed for a couple days, and we ate wayyyy too much and watched a bunch of football. It was a great time of family and fellowship and we always love getting everyone together.

We decided to do Christmas at our house this year, what with having a 2 yr old and all. So, Mimi and Papa (Kel's parents) stayed with us for a few days, and Nana and Pawpaw (my parents) came over to hang out on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Bent Tree Bible was having their Christmas services on Christmas Eve to allow the Church Staff time to be with their families on Christmas morning. So, we headed over there to enjoy their services. As usual, it was a lovely service, although our parents aren't real keen on this new way of doing worship music...they're a little more used to the traditional hymns, but c'est la vie -- we made the best out of it. :)

Christmas Day got started a little late, as with all the excitement from Christmas Eve, Brayden slept in on Christmas morning. I guess at 2 he isn't too keen on all the things that await him on the morning of Christmas, but that may change after this year. Once we got to unwrapping presents, after praising the birth of Jesus (of course), it wasn't long before Brayden started figuring out this was pretty cool. We saved his biggest present for last, but I don't think we quite made it to the end before he found it...a kitchen that we had covered with blankets so he wouldn't see it. Once he found it, I've never seen him so excited about something!! He was beside himself trying to figure out everything he could do with it, pushing buttons, opening doors, getting the ice maker to work, and "cooking." He walks around now talking about "cooking" and when we ask him what he's doing he says, "I cook." It's hilarious and we are eating it up right now (pun intended). Of course, he got a whole bunch of things for Christmas and we are so thankful for the family and friends we have that shower our son with love and affection, but the kitchen took the cake (again, pun intended). We also ate til our stomachs hurt, but it was sooo good to see our family again, and be able to spend time with them. We try to never take for granted the times we are able to spend with our families.

Otherwise, we all shared in many blessings this Christmas...not just Brayden. :)

Since our last post, I have been able to go hunting twice with Kelli's Dad...Papa (to Brayden). He and I have gone out to ranch just him and me...no girls or little boy. I have always had a very good relationship with my FIL and I appreciate him for the man he is, the child of God he is, and the father figure he has become for me. I have been blessed with 2 father's here on earth that any man would kill to have, and I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for providing these two men to emulate.

Kelli and I celebrated our 11th Wedding Anniversary on Jan. 6, 2012!!! Woo hoo!! It just so happened that I had a little time off, and was able to convince her to go to Lake Tahoe with me for some skiing and a little time away from the daily grind. We had a great time, albeit the mountain there (called Heavenly) was only operating 20% of their slopes as they had 0 natural snow thus far in the season. However, they did a great job with the man made snow they produced, but we both noted how we would really like to go back when they had gotten a good snow storm blow through.

Below is a video I took of Brayden as he's playing with a Book Reader he got for Christmas...he is laughing at one of the noises it makes and I thought it was cute enough to video...enjoy.

This is a picture of Kelli on top of the mountain in Tahoe...note both views!

This was us out on the town in Tahoe...we had just watched 2 movies back to back.

This is me in my ski outfit...yes, really.

Brayden likes to ride the rides at the mall...so this is him in his truck

Just a cute one of him getting a drink

This was him in his T-giving outfit, playing outside.

Is That Your Final Answer?

2011-11-04T12:33:00.000-07:00

As many of you may know, we have been having Brayden tested periodically since he was born for Hepatitis C. His birth mother contracted HepC when she was carrying the twins, and although the transmittal rate is extremely low, Brayden was considered high risk becuase of his exposure. See, during the pregnancy the twins underwent a placenta ablation surgery in order to correct the Twin-to-Twin Transfusion that was threatening their lives. During this surgery they were exposed which leads to the high risk.

The first 3 test were negative and then last October, a day that I will never forget, the doctor called with some devastating news. Brayden's Hep C test had come back positive. David & I did a lot of research and I even contacted a hospital in Sydeny, Australia that specialized in Mother-to-Infant HepC transmissions. We were told to wait and they would retest 6 months later for confirmation. Our doctor told us that it was very unlikely that the test would change but there was a .006% chance. GOD DEALS IN THE .006% MARGINS!!!

Early last spring we were tested again, another day I will not forget. When Dr. Mazade walked in he had tears running down his face. Of course, my heart sank and I expected the worse! His voice cracked as he tried to mumble "It was negative." He said that in all the years of his practice he had never seen a child test positive and then come back with a negative. But it was definitely a negative. However, he said that we still were not out of the clear until we received a test confirmation. The dr. wanted to wait another 6 months and we would retest again in October. Last week, we got the results of his final test. STILL NEGATIVE!

God's timing is so.....undeniably orchestrated. I am a worrier! Yes, I know that is a lack of faith and I really struggle with the battling voices. The Word grounds me and speaks over the voices of the enemy but sometimes i succumb to the anxiety of the unknown. Will Brayden be ok? Will he grow up and be happy? Will he be able to walk and run and play with his friends? The unknown. But then I remember that my obligation is not be sure Brayden grows up to be happy or to have friends but to grow up with the Word of God hidden in heart and a love for His Savior. Then I see the visible hand of God moving in my little boys life. Protecting, providing, and healing! It is amazing at how quiet the voice of the enemy grows in the shadow of The Almighty. I am thankful, and humbled, that God has allowed me to see His Sovereignty and Providence! We are completely overjoyed for this news and just wanted to share!!

David, Kelli, & Brayden Jackson

Hello

2011-09-29T07:40:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update on some things since it's been awhile...

Made it to the G.I. Specialist, who ran a few tests and took a few images and found nothing of concern in Brayden's bowels. He said there is no tethered spine, so that is good, and he feels that Brayden is just one of those kids who will have some constipation. We told him we give Brayden "half a cap" of Miralax everyday, and that seems to help things move thru, so he told us to keep doing that and we should be okay. This was great to hear, as he said the laxative won't hurt his system, and as long as it works, we should be good to go. We haven't heard from the Oncologist yet, so we probably need to follow up on that just to cover the bases.

Since our last post we've had a few things going on that we probably need to relay...

A few weeks ago we had a little accident where Brayden fell into some water and I had to revive him with CPR...we were rushed to the hospital in Palestine, and then ambulanced over to Dallas, where we were able to get stabilized and on the road to recovery. I don't really want to relive all the details, but let's just say it was a traumatic day and one I hope to never experience again. Thank you Jesus for gifting us our boy back that day, and please watch over him and keep him safe...in Jesus name. This incident has caused us to take a step backwards in our progression with Brayden to get his right arm and leg to work "properly." Our neuro-therapist thinks this may have injured the brain some, and we will need to take extra care in our rehabilitation efforts moving forward. Needless to say, my guilt has been overwhelming at times, but I have to remind myself to be thankful that we dodged a bullet, with Jesus as our ARMOR, and not consume myself with the "what migh've beens." It's hard, and I told Kelli the other night -- this incident has left a scar on me that will never heal, and thankfully it is a scar that could've run deeper, but it will be there until Jesus takes me home. Okay, so enough with the bad stuff...let's focus on the BLESSINGS we have been given.

Brayden is getting to be such a big boy...see the pictures below. He is saying more and more words everyday, and he loves to be outside and he loves being around other kids. He has never really been shy, but he really seems to come out of his shell when he gets around kids his own age. We are so excited about that, as social skills are one of those things I think each parent worries a little about. He has finally begun to say "hi" and it's so cute -- he says it really high pitched, and I guess I need to capture it on video and post it so you can appreciate it. He says "thank you" anytime you give him something...which is alot, so he says it alot. He was taught by another little boy (Justin) how to say "yee-haw" and the "yee" part he also says really high pitched, so that's been fun, but he hasn't seen Justin in a while, so he isn't saying it nearly as often as he used to. Otherwise, B is doing all the things B normally does...he plays like a champ (as I'm sure most 2 year olds do), goes thru phases of good eating and bad eating, he sleeps so good (usually), and he loves to be outside and explore. He still has some delays, and we are still working on straightening out his right arm and leg, but all in all, this little boy is a trooper and has been such a blessing to me and my family -- g'parents included...he has his Mimi and Nana wrapped around his little finger...and I am so happy for that. I love that our whole family has come together around this little boy and loved on him from the word "go."

By the way...BRAYDEN TURNED 2!!! On Sept 19, Mr. B had his 2nd Birthday, but due to Daddy having to be in Detroit for close to a month now, we haven't had a chance to get his Bday Party put together. So, I will be in town this weekend and will try to get that put together.

Kelli, Patricia (Kel's Mom) and I got to take a quick vacation to NYC. I was there for work, but Kel and Tricia came up the last weekend I was there and we had a great time checking out a lot of the things NYC has to offer. We stayed at Hotel Mela, which was a block away from Times Square. We saw the Statue of Liberty/Ellis Island, Billy Elliott (on Broadway), Central Park, Freedom Tower, the largest retail store (Macy's), Coney Island (in the rain), and just about every square inch of Times Square...I'll try to find some pics to post as soon as possible.

Lastly...Kaysi and Robbie are getting married this weekend (Oct. 2)!!!!! I am honored and humbled they asked me to perform the ceremony, and I am nervous and excited all at the same time. I am just praying the Lord would allow me to remember all my lines and "cues" so it runs smoothly, but at the end of the day -- they will be married and that's all that matters...screw up or not. :)

That's pretty much it...enjoy our most recent pics of Mr. B:

Brayden loves to be outside, and this is a pic on our deck in the backyard...and yes -- Boys will be boys!

This is Brayden as he's out to dinner with Kelli and Patricia (Mimi) -- he loves chocolate pudding!!!

This is Brayden and his new buddy -- Justin. Justin is the one who taught Brayden to "Yee-Haw!!"

We got B a Monkey Backpack that uses his tail as a "leash" ... B loves it and wears it all the time.

Okay, so isn't this the cutest pic ever!! He doesn't normally get to bang around on our "gadgets," but Momma relented and he is one super excited boy -- LOOK AT THAT FACE!!!! :)

Mr. B ... just being Mr. B

Another dinner pic...but you can see we are trying to teach him to eat with a spoon (or fork)...he loves to "dip, dip"

MRI Results

2011-06-27T06:27:00.000-07:00

We got our MRI results on Friday and it was a mixed bag of good and not so good results.

As far as the cyst on his spinal cord is concerned, it has not grown any larger and is not constricting the growth of his spine. So, that's good as we don't want to see the cyst grow, nor do we want it to contrict his growth.

However, (and I'm laying it all out here...so just be warned you may not want to know some of this) he did see that Brayden is constipated and his kidneys and bladder were pretty distended, so he's concerned about how Brayden passes "waste." We have been referred to a Gastro-Intestinal (GI) Specialist and a Urologist to have his kidneys, liver, bladder, intestines, etc. checked out to see what's going on in there. This has pretty much been a problem with B since he was born. If any of you have seen his pics from birth, there are a few with him that his belly is really distended and this is from him not passing his food the right way. The good news is that we have him on a pretty steady regimen of Flax Seed Oil and Laxatives that as long as we continue to put those in his food, he will have a bowel movement everyday. The problem the Dr. wants to find out more about is to see if this is a result of the cyst on his spine and the hole in his brain not allowing for proper communication to occur between B's brain and his other organs to process his food. So, please lift this up in prayer...as we are back to praying for his bowel system (we used to pray that he would poop, as it was so hard for him, now we just need to pray for his entire system, that Jesus would set it straight).

Going forward, the concern is that B may not have control of his bowels, to include bladder control, which at his age is very tough to determine. This could lead to any number of things, from just having to maintain the laxative/flax seed regimen, to him having to wear diapers into adulthood...not fun. So, again, we will hope to see these 2 Dr's as soon as we can, and we'll update you as to how this progresses.

All in all, the Neurologist said he was pleased with the results and is hoping for good news from the GI and Urologist. He said he doesn't feel like he needs to see for another 12 months, which is a good sign. Of course, he said if we see any negative developments to get in immediately, but at this point, he thinks things are going well.

Anywho...Kelli had to go to Lubbock for work this week, so we shipped B over to Mimi and Papa's...here are a few pics of their first evening together, playing in the sprinkler!!

MRI

2011-06-23T05:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Brayden's MRI to image the cyst on his spine. We checked into the hospital at 8:30am and we left at close to 3pm. It was a tough morning and resulted in a long day, but he made it through like a champ and by about 5:30pm we had our little boy back. Anytime you put a 21 month old under anesthesia, it's a scary process. His momma was in the room while they put him under (they only let 1 person in the room), and that whole thing shook her up pretty good. It's tough watching your baby go limp as he's crying because he's scared. The above pic was before he knew what was going to happen and you can see him cheese it up for the camera behind his pacifier. Anywho, he made it through okay, and the nurse said he did a great job, so we are proud of our little man. He had a hard time coming out from the anesthesia, but we got some juice down him and got him home to "sleep it off." Not sure he slept too much, but resting in his crib did him some good and by dinner time he was back to his old self.

We sure do love that little guy and watching him experience pain and fear is not fun for us, but we are hoping his results come back with good news and that our Lord has removed his cyst for us...but only His will be done in our lives.

Thanks!
DD

New Pics

2011-06-21T07:31:00.000-07:00

Hi...wanted to get out a couple new pics of Brayden, on the day before we go to the Dr for his next MRI. Please pray we get great results, and that his cyst has been taken away!! We trust in the One who can do that on His own...Jesus.

Thanks!!

:)

Yeah, we know...

2011-03-14T08:46:00.000-07:00

We aren't very good at keeping this thing up to date anymore, mainly because we're so busy trying to keep up with Brayden!

In the past month this little man has decided he wants to walk, so he is up and around and getting into everything he can get into! Hopefully in some succeeding posts I'll figure out how to post video's 'cuz this little guy is blowing and going.

Since our last post we have been getting acclimated to Kelli going back to work part-time. This was an adjustment at first, but many THANKS go out to my mom, "Nana," for helping to watch Brayden for 2 days of the week, and we have Christy from Wyldlife babysit for the other day Kel is at work. We are also looking into some programs that could allow Brayden to get some "teaching" during the day, even prior to going to preschool. Given his low birth rate and prematurity the State allows for him to qualify for educational access as early as 3 years old, so we are trying to get on the ball before that time so he, and we, can be ready when that time comes. We also feel that he is a little behind the ball when it comes to social skills with other kids as the only time he is really around other kids is at Church, when he is in the nursery. So, we're exploring a few options to see how we can help develop those skills necessary to transition to a school setting as he gets older.

On a side note, I had to travel to Chicago for a class at work, and while I was there Kelli was able to come up for an extended weekend that we used as our Anniversary Trip since we couldn't get away in January. This past January we celebrated 10 years of marriage and delayed our "trip" to February where we had a really good time together in Chicago. We were able to see the Blue Man Group and Les Miserables as "shows" while we there. We explored the Shedd Aquarium and Millennium Park as some local attractions, and we even made it out for dinner and a movie the first night Kel was in town to allow us a little date before we got into the meat of the weekend. We also ventured out to Giordano's with a co-worker of mine to enjoy some deep dish pizza famous in Chicago, and we met a fraternity brother of mine to enjoy Piece, another pizza place, and Hot Chocolate which is a really swanky restaurant and hot chocolate bar...that's right...they serve many "flavors" of hot chocolate - really neat place. Needless to say, we were both pretty exhausted from our Chicago trip, but we had a blast and got to do a bunch of fun things.

This is my last semester in graduate school, and it couldn't get here sooner!! I'm ready to be through with this experience, as it's been good, but very taxing on my free time. Counting down the days until May when I can finally say I'm a "Master" of something. :)

Anywho, that's all I can come up with for now, but hopefully we'll have more extensive updates in the NEAR future.

Thanks for stopping by,
DD

Mr. Man got a swing for Christmas and we have just recently been able to get outside and enjoy it. Thanks to Papa and Mimi for helping us get it up in the tree, as Brayden loves to get outside whenever he can and swing!!

Kel and I ventured out to Carter's to get Brayden some 18 month clothes as he's right in the middle of 12 month and 18 month clothes, but we don't have enough 18 month clothes. So, while we were there they had this table that let Brayden play with Lego's and he LOVED IT!!! You can see the sheer joy on his face as he get to play with the Lego's. We sure do love our sweet and smiley little boy.

THE DRESS!!!

2010-12-19T10:14:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was such a fun day! David & I have begun to treasure our Saturday mornings at home as a family. Since David works downtown he usually leaves the house around 6:45. This means that Brayden very rarely gets to see his Daddy until he gets home.....EXCEPT on Saturdays. I usually bring Brayden downstairs to our bedroom and for the next hour we cuddle and play and laugh! It's is SO SO much fun.

So that's how our day started yesterday and then it was up to try to put our house back together from the Christmas party we had the night before. All the WyldLife Student Leaders gathered here Friday night to eat, play games, and hang out. I just LOVES those kids!!! We did a few chores around the house and then Mimi (my mom) got here about 11:30 and it was off to meet Kaysi and Kristi for a fun afternoon of wedding stuff. Kaysi found THE DRESS and it was absolutely beautiful!!! It is perfect and looks JUST like her! I am so happy for her! It was good to spend some time with our cousin Krisit, who lives in Waco, and for us to all be together again.

Mimi stayed with us and so we went out last night do a little Christmas shopping for Brayden. It was fun to be out and just be together. We missed having Papa (my dad) with us but they will be back up here in 4 days to celebrate the birth of our King!! Tonight is the YL staff Christmas Party so David is straightening up, Mimi is playing with Brayden, and I'm setting the table and getting food prepared.

Yes, It's starting to FEEL a lot like Christmas......

K

Blessed

2010-12-18T09:10:00.000-08:00

I am just so overwhelmed at the Grace and Mercy that the Father has showed us this year. Just reflecting the on the miracles that He has allowed us to be a part of this morning. I guess I am a little bit like David, this time of year just gets me all sentimental and gushy. But then again, WHAT part of the year am I not sentimental and gushy! Just thinking about how amazing our little boy is...I wish you could see how hard he works and with such joy. Our therapist says that she has been doing this for 13 years and Brayden is one of the hardest working little boys she has ever seen. We teach him something new and just studies and works and works until he can do it. It's like he has his mind set that there is NOTHING that he is not going to do. I wish I had that spirit...unwilling to give up. How often do I give in to the voices in my head telling me I can't or I will never do this or that! And he works so hard with joy and laughter. How often do I complain about having too much to do or something is too hard? This little miracle has taught me so much. I am starting to understand what Jesus meant when he said "Let the Children come to me, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to them."

And to see how quickly The Father allowed our family to move through Dad's fight against Cancer. Many of my close friends know how much I revere and treasure my Dad. I have never met anyone on this earth that is as pure, kind, generous, unselfish, strong, and honorable as my Father. His character is above rebuke and he is so very bold in sharing the good news with all that God brings into his path. I am just so grateful for his health and continued healing.

Both of our mothers have just been such a blessing to us this year. I can't imagine how we would have managed through all the hospital trips and doctor visits and...LIFE without our Moms! They have helped us so much with Brayden and just loving and supporting us. Then to think...we have wedding coming up!! I am so very thankful and excited for my sisters engagement! To see her and Robbie just make me smile. I am so thankful that they have found each other and pray for their future.

Then for all of our friends.....knowing when to call and encourage or just let us sit and freak out a little! Having such great friends and family that will speak truth to us and love us...despite that fact that hardly EVER really have things together.

Just wanted to share my heart this morning...now it is off to spend the day with Kaysi, Mom, Kristi, & Mr. B doing all kinds of fun, girly wedding stuff!! Love you all...

K

What a Year It's Been...

2010-12-09T10:15:00.000-08:00

Yesterday marked the 1 year anniversary of bringing little man home from the hospital. If you've been reading our blog for any amount of time now, you probably know what our "rooming-in" experience was like at Cook Children's in Ft. Worth. What an amazing night that has led us on this roller coaster ride of raising a little boy with so many challenges laid out before him.

Over the past 12 months I have watched a little boy fight with all his being -- who was supposed to come home from the hospital on breathing machines, apnea monitors, feeding tubes; who may not see/hear/walk/talk/etc. Sometimes I feel like all we focus on is what he is/was not supposed to do instead of thanking Jesus for all the things He can do with those who have the desire to look defeat in the eye and overcome it. This baby boy has no clue that he isn't supposed to be doing these things. It is so much fun to watch him do things that Doctor's say he won't or can't do. He is very much an inspiration to me, as I like to put constraints on myself and then tell myself I can't do it. I'm not sure why I do that, but I just do. Brayden has opened my eyes to realize that without limitations, the human body (and brain) can do wonderful things. That's not to say that Bray J has no speed bumps ahead of him, but it gives me courage to stand beside him and fight with all my being to give him the best life possible. He will always have a "brain injury" as it will never heal (it's basically a "hole" in his brain, which is not fixable). He has a cyst on his spine that will more than likely need surgery as he gets older (a 15 hour surgery, no less). He has shown antibodies for Hep C...but we are hopeful that his body will "clear" (heal) this from his blood and he won't have to worry about all those things that come with Hepatitis C. So, again, these things would tend to put "limitations" on what he can and can't do as he gets older, but having seen him overcome so many things already...anyways, here I go again with all the things he won't be able to do or the challenges he has ahead of him.

Let me tell you what I've learned:

1. I'm not a perfect dad, but I LOVE being a dad.
2. I want to find BJ a "sibling" -- don't care about the sex...just hoping to find/make a healthy baby. :)
3. I have loved watching our parents (the grandparents) handle Brayden. They have showered him with love and affection and I am so proud of them for that. If I'm honest I can say that I was worried about what they would think about this situation when we first mentioned it, but it has been a miracle of God to see them welcome BJ with open arms to our family.
4. I find myself saying, "I can't wait until Brayden can do..." while at the same time wishing I had my little baby back. He has gotten so big, and Kelli and I have caught ourselves talking about how much of a little boy our baby has turned into. To me, this is a weird dichotomy of being excited about the future, while "missing" (longing for) the past.
5. It melts my heart when he smiles at me, hugs me, or laughs at me. I could literally just watch him all day long...he does some of the funniest and cutest things. His laugh is contagious to all who hear it...he scrunches up his nose and mouth when he smiles (we call it his Flirty Face). He always has a rebuttal for when we tell him "no." (that could be interesting as he gets older)

We have such a wonderful little boy, even if I am a bit biased. He does so well around other people, he really doesn't cry all that much (unless he's hungry or sleepy). I can't wait to watch his continued growth and development, and am doing my best to log all our wonderful memories with him so I will always have them to fall back on.

I never want to be the Dad that stays at work longer because I dread coming home to my family. I've encountered a few dad's along the way that would rather not come home due to selfish reasons of wanting to have "me" time. To me that's selfish, and they are missing out on so much love, joy, and happiness. I hope Brayden never stops "lighting up" when I walk in the room, and I hope I never stop yearning to come home to him to play. Of course, I can't neglect the wife, but once BJ goes to bed I try to do what I can to help with the house. I hope Kelli agrees with that statement, but I'm sure there's always something more I could do to help.

Anywho, another long post, but with Christmas right around the corner it has gotten me a little gushy, and I hope to carry that thru the new year.

Thanks for stopping by,
DD

Me and B at Paradise Canyon for T-giving!

We loved this outfit...had to show it off. :)

Brayden on Nana and Pawpaw's ATV...he loves it!!

2010-12-05T20:41:00.000-08:00

Somedays I look at Brayden and how big he has gotten, all the new things he is learning, and I think...my little baby is not a baby anymore! He is getting to be a Big Boy! He has a tooth on the top and bottom that you can clearly see when he wrinkles his nose and smiles at you. We also three more that we think will be visible by Christmas.

Then at night, when I place him in his crib and he flips on his tummy pulling his little knees up under him until his bottom is sticking up...I think, "There's my baby!" Nothing in the world like bedtime!

Catching Up...

2010-11-18T09:18:00.000-08:00

So, it’s been a while – how y’all doing??? :)

Sometimes life gets in the way of the good ‘ol blog, but we’ll see what we can do to bring you up to speed…

Since the last post Brayden celebrated his 1st Birthday. I’ll try to get some pics of that up as we had 2 celebrations – 1 in Palestine with Kel’s parents and the other in Addison at Kelli’s Cousin’s house (Lucy D.). We loved being able to spend time with all our family and the fellowship with others we were able to experience was so heartwarming and fulfilling. We have been blessed with tremendous friends and family.

We still haven’t had Brayden’s MRI that got rescheduled for a later date due to the discovery of HCV RNA in his blood (Hepatitis C). We are going to have him re-tested to find out the “viral load” of the Hep C to see how much of it is in his system somewhere around March. This will give us a better knowledge of what we’re looking at as he gets older – treatments, warning signs, eating habits, etc. He’s had an eye appt since our last blog, and it came back GREAT!! At the last eye appt the Doc mentioned he may need to have glasses when he goes to school, but it appears that may not be the case as of this most recent appt. So, we’ll see and pray that glasses would be one inconvenience he can avoid. He’s also seen a holistic doctor to help us with some good things to get Brayden to combat and hold off the Hep C. That Doctor was VERY IMPRESSED with our “25 weeker.” Kel mentioned that when he walked into the room he saw Brayden and his jaw dropped and he just wanted to hold him and love on him – he just couldn’t believe B was doing so well. He gave some advice for us to get B “creeping” – hands and knees crawling, and he’s referred us to a Private PT to get us another opinion to go with our ECI therapist(s) that come every month. This new therapist he’s referred us to is a Therapist who specializes in brain injured children…so we’re hoping they can help us with B’s brain injury and the repercussions.

Kelli’s dad, Andrew, was diagnosed with Cancer (Melanoma) since the last time we blogged. He underwent 2 surgeries to take out over 70 lymph nodes to try to remove all the cancer and avoid treatments. It was a pretty aggressive way to do it, but it was SUCCESSFUL!!! We got a report yesterday that the results came back showing no cancer in the 66 lymph nodes they took out at his last surgery. WOO HOO!!!! So very thankful for Jesus who watched over Andrew and Patricia thru that whole process and for allowing the Doctor’s to know the right procedure to clear this cancer. The “C” word is always very scary and the Dowdney/Overton clans have defeated it TWICE!!!! (Kel had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma when we lived in College Station).

Otherwise, we’ve just been living life and taking care of Bray J. He is such a great baby and has so much personality. He loves to laugh and is very ticklish. He does really well standing at his table that he can play music on, poke buttons, and light up lights. He is crawling, but doesn’t use his right leg as well as his left, so we are continually working on that, and he doesn’t like to “creep” – the hands and knees crawling I mentioned before. These are crucial stepping stones he needs to master before he moves to walking. We know he has a little more time as he’s technically only 11 months old, but we want to do the right things and get him on track.

Thanks for stopping by, and hopefully we can update more often to keep you coming back!
D

Brayden's MRI on Friday

2010-10-04T10:20:00.001-07:00

Thank you ALL for lifting up our little man on Friday.

Before all this stuff with HCV hit our radar, Brayden was scheduled to have an MRI done on his spinal chord. Brayden has a cyst that is growing on his spinal chord and we have it imaged in order to ensure that it is not putting any pressure or compression on the chord. This would decrease the amount of blood and oxygen carried to the brain and is extremely dangerous. We have had the cyst imaged twice, once in December right before we carried him home and then again last Spring. The MRIs did show that the cyst was developing and giving the spinal chord room to grow, without much compression. THAT IS GOOD!! We are needing this cyst to stay off that spinal chord until Brayden is late teens, due to the nature of the surgery.

When we arrived at the hospital, we were admitted due to the need for anestheia during the proceedure. If his heart rate or breathing fluctuated during the MRI they would keep him overnight for observance. A few hours after we arrived, the anesthiolgist came to talk to us about the proceedure. When she learned of B's recent blood work she said that she did not feel comfortable administering meds during this crucial time for his liver. Anesthesia alter the blood flow to the liver and is hard for the body to metabolize. She said that she would have to contact the Neuro Surgeon who ordered the MRI before she could cancel it and that she would try to contact him. PRAISE GOD..she was able to speak with Dr. Roberts and they did confirm that we were in a position to give his little liver some time before we proceeded with a MRI.

We were so very thankful that the Dr. was protective over our litle son's liver and agreed to give him some time to, LORD WILLING, clear this HCV. The Neuro Surgeon requested that we see him in clinic before we were able to leave and so we did have a very long wait to see him. After his exam of Brayden he discussed, at length, his concerns and projections regarding this cyst. He felt really good about the decision to postpone the MRI for 3 months and then we will see where B is with his blood work.

It was a double edged sword...we were so anxious to see how this cyst was developing however, so very thankful that we waited and gave B this opportunity to fight. So on the front of the spinal cyst, we will have to wait 3 months. In the meantime...that just give us all the time to lay this precious little one at the Father's feet and ask for healing. I would love for the cyst to just disappear! Wouldn't that be a fun conversation with the doctors?

David and I have come to remember one of our very first prayers for this little boy. We prayed that Brayden's life would point people to Christ and glorify the Father. We prayed that all that came into contact with him would hear of the healing, faithful, providing, and merciful Jesus that has worked miracles in this littles life and stand ready to do the same for all.

To God be the glory for all things He has done.....and will do yet again.

Kelli

Update on Mr. B

2010-10-04T10:03:00.000-07:00

On September 20th Brayden went to see Dr. Mazade at Cook Children's. We go to see Dr. Mazade every 3-6 months for blood work. Since Brayden's birth mom was Hepatitis C positive, we have watched him relatively closely. He has always tested negative and so David & I had just kind of checked this off our list as CLEAR! Dr. Mazade even mentioned that he really didn't intend to find anything this time around but we would test one more time at 18 months, as protocol.

On Monday, September 27th, a week later I had a message from Dr. Mazade and it didn't sound good. When we talked, he informed me that Brayden had tested positive for HCP RNA. We would re-test in 3 months but it was likely that it looked as if Brayden had contracted the Hepatitis C virus. After the call, David & I started researching and reading everything we could get our hands on about Hep C. Neither of us knew very much about it. It seems that out of all the Heps, it's the bad one. There is so much conflicting information out there and seems to be very limited on case studies actually done on infants. Mose cases were on adults that had either contracted Hep c from a blood transfusion or from shared needle use. Either way, the informatoin we were gathering wasn't very comforting.

Later that afternoon we had another consult with the doctor becuase we both had so so many questions. What kind of test had been done? Seems there are several ones out there. We found that B had had HCV RNA qualatative test. This means that it was a detection test only. There is a quantative test that tells how much viral load is in him and which genome type he has. Seems there are a few different variations of Hep C and this is important when it comes to treatments and liver affects. This will be determined by a liver biopsy later down the road. We asked about current treatment, however, the treatments that are currently available are too harsh for infants and there is currently no cure.

We are seeing a specialist this week that will help us with diet and some possible natural supplements that we pray will help support his liver during this time. There have been some case studies that have shown that infants do carry the ability to "clear" themselves of the virus, however, it is a very very small possibility. We are praying for that Jesus Christ makes that small possibility a reality in our little son's life.

Please pray that Brayden will clear himself of all HCV RNA.
Please pray that God will give us wisdom in caring for him and make evident any threats that we can protect his liver from and known any remedies that will support his immune system during this time.
Please pray for Dr. Bain and Dr. Masade as they make decisions for his health.
Please pray that Brayden will not contract Hepatitis C.

Standing in Grace,

Kelli, David, & BrayJ

The Dowdney Summer Update...i know it's late

2010-09-21T08:43:00.000-07:00

Our summer has been so busy! May started off the madness with Graduation activities. We had Prom, Baccalaureate, Graduation, and Graduation parties. Cameron finished his senior year strong and graduation was a very sweet time for us. Cameron has enlisted in the Army and will be going to Basic Training August 17, the day after his birthday.

In June, Cameron left for YL camp and we headed to the McCann family reunion. Then it was back in Dallas, as I prepared to take my Middle School friends to their camp. Camp is always a time of the year that I sincerely look forward to. I have seen God’s hand and lives changed at every camp I have gone to, whether it was for High Schoolers, Middle Schoolers, or teen moms. This year…..it was a lot harder for me to get into camp mode. I was excited bout all the wondrous ways I knew God would show up, but I also knew I would be leaving B for an entire week!! Thank goodness for family!! My precious cousin Valerie and her amazing daughter, we call her Nanny Savannah, came for Monday – Wednesday. Then, my mom took over Wed until I made it back home on Friday. I got all his food made and labeled and his routine written down…and I was off to camp with 25 kids and leaders!!

I also had a much needed and overdue visit from my amazing friend from OKC, Amy Trent and her little Garrett! Amy’s husband, Jim, was David’s roommate in the Fraternity house at OU and they had started dating a little bit before Dave & I. Jim & Amy were really our bestest friends during the first two years of our marriage, while we lived in OKC. We dearly missed them when we moved from Norman to College Station and we love to get in extended visits whenever we can! Having a true friend that you know you can just be yourself around, and they will still love you, is such a rare gift. I loved visiting with Amy and having time. One night we got the boys bathed and in bed, and while David kept watch, we left and had some girl time! We went to see SITC 2, had a nice adult beverage, and just relaxed. It is also nice to have a friend that you know you can count on for Godly advice, but that will still sit down and have a glass of wine with you!! Loved our time with Amy & Garrett!!!

In July, we had a precious time out at Sisterdale with my Aunt Nette and the entire Dixon/Overton family for an entire weekend. My aunt has two boys, Patrick & Paul and they each have just precious, precious families!! We loved hanging out with their kids and just being together as a family.

August brought the business of life back again. Young Life was starting back up and we were recruiting leaders and planning for our semester clubs. We had a great “Going Away luncheon” for Cameron and sent him off to Basic Training. I was also truly blessed to have had the opportunity to take care of my cousin Lucy’s son, Grant, during the summer. Grant & I had so much fun teaching Brayden how to swim, playing games, going to the circus, and enjoying each other’s company. Grant was a HUGE help with Brayden and I was sad that our summer was coming to a close. Thankfully, I still get to see him a few times a week when I pick him up from school and tutor him with his homework.

Other than that…that brings us to the start of September! It will be a fun month as B will be turning 1! That also means lots of trips to Cook Children’s as we have doctor follow up appointments. We will keep everyone in the loop. Love to all…..
David, Kelli, & Super B

Confessions of an Inferior Mom

2010-09-21T08:42:00.000-07:00

from my journal about 2 months ago.......

Well, it’s been a while since I have confessed. And I really hate to even get started but here it goes. …ATTENTION: No children or babies were harmed during any of the incidents below. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

So since we have started introducing solids to Brayden, I had started to notice he was a little more constipated than normal and my pediatrician had warned me that it might occur. He had also given me a little home remedy that would help “the process.” The remedy…I will spare you the details….but it did involve a Q Tip and some Vaseline. So, yesterday I decided that my little man needed a little help and so we proceeded with the home remedy. Only…..I must have grabbed a defective Q Tip because went I pulled it out….the cotton tip was missing!!! What kind of mother…well, I can’t even finish that sentence. So…..wouldn’t you know it, David just happened to be standing right there for the whole thing. When I looked up at him the only thing he said was “ Well, you got it stuck in there so you have to get it out!” GREAT!!! How do you go about getting a small cotton ball out from you baby’s bottom. Answer: You don’t. You wait! This morning, after 4 days of no Poop, Brayden grunted and pushed….and first out came a little brown ball (the Q Tip)..and then A LOT of poop. Thank goodness for gravity…and the body’s inability to absorb cotton. Won’t be trying that home remedy again.

Praying we make it to next week...KD :)

Organics???

2010-07-21T11:03:00.000-07:00

Ok..so I am not one of those people that you would look and say "I bet she is one of those "organic, all natural, tree huggin" type people. I mean, I really don't pay that close attention to preservatives or pesticides or ingredients..although I SHOULD! Well, that has changed since Brayden arrived on the scene! I have only bought organics for all his food and I watch the labels for sugras and preservatives, ect. So I was thinking...if I love him enough to do that for him, I should be doing the same thing for my husband, and my own body. Here is a link I found today that I printed off and put in my purse to help me with "organic" decisions. I just wanted to share.

http://static.foodnews.org/pdf/EWG-shoppers-guide.pdf

Much Love,

Kelli

Adventures in Baby Food

2010-05-18T08:02:00.000-07:00

For the past month we have been giving Brayden rice cereal in the evenings, getting him use to the texture and spoon. The last week or so he has been eating everything in the bowl, and a few times I had to make a little extra. So this week we desiganted to start introducing solids. I knew that I wanted to make my own organic, baby food so yesterday I went and bought sweet potatoes, butternut squash, and bannans. This morning I baked my Sweet Potatoes, pureed, and then froze a portion. Brayden loved his Sweet potatoes for lunch so I was super excited. I'll keep him on just the sweet potatoes for another 4 days and then we'll go to bannans. Our little boy is getting so big! We are so proud of him.

1st Blow Out

2010-05-14T13:30:00.000-07:00

No, I didn't say Blow Up...BLOW OUT! As in...blowing out from the bottom region! We have heard from many of our dear friends their funny "Blow Out" stories. In fact, some of our good friends from OKC, Jim & Amy, and a pretty good blow out with their cute little sone, Garret, on their way back home from a weekend visit with us. As of this morning, we didn't have any fun "Blow Out" stories to share. In fact, for most of the time since Brayden has been here, we have just been praying for normal, regular POOPS! That was until this morning.

Today I have been running like crazy trying to get ready for my very last WyldLife Club of the semester. When David came home for lunch, I was passing Brayden off to run out the door and try to pick up a few things while David was here to watch little man. When I picked him up...I smelled it! THen I saw it...out the sides and up his back. Yep, we needed a water hose! Then when I took him upstairs to change him it got all over his clothes, changing table, shoes..it was a mess! I just laughed becuase everyone warned me that it would happen when I was in a hurry or in a public place.

So....Brayden Blow Outs 1...Mama 0! For now! Just wanted to share! :0 Now I'm off to spend my last club with my junior high kids. I just love them to peices!

kd

Breathing

2010-05-10T18:40:00.000-07:00

Spring….I feel as if the last few weeks I have been learning how to breathe. It seems that when we first brought Brayden home I spent many moments holding my breath! Holding my breath during the many doctor appointments, therapy sessions, and Balance Due letters from the Adoption Agency. Yes, our lives have dramatically changed and I have been literally holding my breath for the last 4 months. The Lord has been teaching me, especially over the last 4 weeks, to let go….laugh…..love….and breath. We have continued to see divine intervention…to the point that if I blogged about it everyday people might think we are crazy.
We have continued to receive excellent reports regarding Brayden’s development. He is much like any other 4 month old (his actual age is 7 months, but we track him from when his due date was. They refer to that as his Corrected age = 4 months.) He has mastered the art of rolling over both ways and last week he discovered his toes. Last month we heard his first out loud belly-laugh and there have been many to follow. He did AMAZING with the initial sleep training! He will soothe himself to sleep when placed in his crib for a nap or bedtime and usually wakes us babbling instead of crying now. However, we have heard that this will all change around 9 months and we will have to have sleep training….ROUND 2! He is growing like a weed….really. He has already outgrown three sizes of clothes; Preemie, Newborn, & 0-3 Months. Last night David and I even had to pack up some of his 3 Mo & 3-6 Mo sizes. He is a good eater. Right now, he is taking 6-7 oz every 4 hours and we have started him on rice cereal with his dinner. It’s kind of funny…because some nights he just gobbles his rice dinner up and other nights…..well, it mostly ends up everywhere else BUT in his tummy. It’s fun watching him learn and everyday I am so thankful for the daily miracles The Father allows us to touch, feel, kiss, & hug.
When we first brought Brayden home, we were anticipating that I would be able to continue doing some contract work for my previous owner. However, that door shut due to Fanny Mae’s inability to….well let’s just say due their inability! However, we have realized that too just may have been God’s providence. This has allowed me to solely concentrate on Brayden & David. As you can imagine, we had A LOT to do after bringing Brayden home. Most couples are allowed 9 months to nest, make room for a nursery, and gather the necessities. Well, we only got 3 months…and most of that time was spent at the hospital with Brayden because he was already here. So since December, we have finished his nursery and built a deck onto the back of the house. I will be sure to get nursery pictures up soon.
That’s mostly what has been happening with us. This month will be crazy busy trying to get Cameron ready for Graduation. We have had a really great semester with him, and I have to say, I am surprised that the thought of him leaving is a little bittersweet. I fear he has taught us way more than we have him. When I think of everything his life has been filled with and yet what a love for the Lord he truly does have, I admire him greatly. He will be graduating from Creekview in June, then to a few summer camps before heading into the ARMY.
Thanks for reading…..it's nice to get to a point that you don't have to hold your breath. When you realize that The Creator is holding your every moment, really it's pointless. We will get some new pictures up soon. We love you all….please leave us a comment or email us. Our family and friends have been such an encouragement to us. We love you…Kel

Time Flies

2010-04-15T07:09:00.000-07:00

Well, sorry its been so long since we've updated. I'll try to bring you up to speed on the last month or so...

The major thing we had happen was an MRI for Brayden that took more pictures of the cyst on his spine. We found out that the cyst is still there and appears to be the same size as before. However, it appears that it is putting less pressure on his spine than before, so we are excited about that. It is letting his spinal cord and backbone develop and is not squeezing on it as much as it was. So, the Dr. is very hopeful we won't have to do any kind of surgery until he gets older -- hopefully his teenage years (if at all). Of course, our prayer is that Jesus would step in and remove this cyst on his own and we won't have to worry about surgery. The cyst in his brain is there and will always be there as it's more just a lack of development of the brain tissue, so there is no "cure" for that one. We'll just have to see how he develops as he begins to crawl, walk, talk, etc.

Otherwise, in playing with the little stinker you wouldn't know he has a cyst at all. He is very active and smiles, coo's, laughs, and loves to stick out his tongue (thanks Mimi)! He is now eating rice cereal, so of course more of it generally gets on him than goes in his mouth. It's fun, and Kelli is loving every minute of her being able to stay home with him. He is still not crawling yet, but he can scoot around on his mats in the floor, or in his crib...so we expect him to start army crawling any time now. What's better is that if you hold him by his arms on your lap, he'll try to walk all over you...so he may even walk before he crawls...he just needs to get better balance.

We also had a baby shower thrown by some of the mother's of Kelli's WyldLife kids. We had a great time and the spread of food and cake was amazing!! We got some needed clothes, toys, and stuffed animals -- all of which we have already been able to play with. We are so thankful for the friends we have made thru YoungLife/Wyldlife, they have been a big blessing in our lives.

Two weeks ago we painted the nursery, and last week we put a deck up in the back yard. The Overton's came over and helped get our front lawn under control too as we needed some help in a couple flower beds to get some shrubs back up and growing. So, we've done a lot of stuff in and out of the house that we have really enjoyed.
Brayden's Room is now a light green with an accent wall we painted brown -- to match the bedding we have for him. The girls got that done with finishing touches put on by the guys who were able to reach a little farther with their paint brushes.
The yard and deck were welcome additions to the yard that has needed some upgrades since last summer. We were so thankful for all the help we received, as Andrew was the supervisor for both projects. He is a man on a mission when it comes to working in the yard and we love the new additions he made.

That is the most recent update on the Dowdney household, but we will try not to wait so long for the next one.

Thanks for stopping by
D

Cute Video

2010-03-09T12:12:00.001-08:00

Spring is here....

2010-03-09T12:08:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness for a little sunshine! All that rain and gloom was starting to get on my nerves! February was fast and furious and we are about to be done with most of the madness! It's been a great semester of YoungLife/WyldLife but I am ready for Spring Break!! I have been working on the North Texas YL Family Ski Trip and I will be nice when I can close the books on that project. It's been really fun to get to know alot of our families on a more personal level and to be able to serve them....but it has been a little more work that I had anticipated. Well, maybe it just feels like a little more work since I have a 10 week old at home!

On that note, it is has been interesting as we have started to get Brayden out a little more, how we explain his age when people ask. Sometimes, if I'm in a hurry and don't have time for the 20 min story, when strangers ask how old is our baby I'll just give them the corrected age...."oh, he's 10 weeks." Corrected age is a medical term for preemies stating how old they would be IF they had been born around their due date. What really gets people is when we respons with his Actual Age. You can see some people trying to compute....then it's fun to share with how the Lord truly blessed our little man!

I'm sure that several people have considered calling the authorities on us a few times. It get's funny when David responds with his Actual Age and I respons with this Corrected Age. You can almost hear them think..."These crazy people don't know how old their baby is!" LOL.... It hasn't happened that many times, though!

Brayden is doing really well! We have seen his PT and Dietician this month, and scheduling a session with OT soon. He seems to have a little tightness in his muscle tone that we are hoping to correct with some therapy. This month he has learned to stand up on our lap, push up on his little hands, and is starting to chew on everything. The dietician said that we can start trying Rice Cereal but not to expect great results the first month! I want David to be here for our first feeding so we think we will try it this weekend sometimes! He also got his activity center this past weekend when Mimi and Aunt Kaysi were here. It took a few times, but he is finally starting to have fun with it. I think at first, it was a little sensory overload! David said "It's like Las Vegas for a baby!" He just learned how to bang on the keys to make the sound himself this morning. Here are some picture....

We have the follow up appointment with the Neuro Surgeon and Neurologist this month. I have found that just knowing those are coming up, I am really having to fight off the anxiety! We will be imaging the cycst on his spine and following the development of his brain. It's funny how God gently speaks to us sometimes. Yesterday morning during our playtime, I had a cd playing of Children's Bible School songs. "My God is big, so strong and so mighty! There's nothing my God can not do!" came through the speakers as we played under his floor gym. How much more peaceful I would be if truly claimed this promise in my life. God has delivered Brayden from so many things, do I really think that he has stoped caring for him at this point? I feel like the children of Israel sometimes? Have I told you that before? I tend to forget all the mighty, marvelous things God has done in the past and question His sovereignty. Lest I forget..... there is nothing that our God can not do. May we not fail to approach His throne with boldness.

Kelli

Reminiscing

2010-02-15T06:50:00.000-08:00

The past few days I have been really focused on trying to get some of the books read that I have been referred. We are at the initial stages of some very basic sleep training and need all the advice and counseling that we can get! TRUST ME…..we (I) have absolutely no idea what we (I) are doing!!! And it just got me to thinking and wishing..longing for my grandmothers!!! My mother’s mom was known as Granny and my dad’s mom went affectionately by Momma Mae. Granny raised 11 kids, two of those being a set of twins, and managed just perfectly without all the Parenting books, advice chat rooms and websites, and certainly without all the modern day MUST HAVES that you can find down the 101 isles at Babies R US! HOW IN THE WORLD DID SHE DO IT? I mean…she didn’t have a Boppy or a Bumbo and didn’t have any Dr. Brown bottles! What did she do without the Night and Day Bottle Warmer or the Eddie Bauer Soothe & Sway Play Yard? I wish I could just sit down with her for 1 day and have her pour into me all her parenting knowledge. How did she know what to do when?

This morning I was sitting in my breakfast nook and I have a very old wooden curio cabinet that we have used to store some of our favorite heirlooms on. My eye first caught a smallish 5 tier, silver candelabra that was placed at the front of the 2nd shelf. It’s funny how just a glimpse of some object can bring a wave of emotions. When David & I got engaged, my Granny was bound to a wheel chair and had not been getting around very well. Since most of my family is from a small town in East Texas, Palestine, we had chosen a little local store to register in for our home-town shower. I remember my mother telling me how cute my grandmother was. She insisted that my mom come get her and take her so that she could pick something out herself for me & David. My grandmother came from an extremely humble background and had always had limited resources. My mom said as she pushed my grandmother through the store she inspected all the items very carefully! When she came to the candelabra, she knew right this was it. My mom cautioned her that it was a little pricey but Granny dug through her purse and purchased the gift with love! I miss her so very much! I wonder what she would think of Brayden, what advice she would give.

Two shelves down is a shelf that has a set of a very old Sliver Tea Pot and Serving Set. This is from Momma Mae. It reminds me of what a servant she was her entire life. It was very rare to go for a visit that she wouldn’t be loading your arms up with things as you were walking out the door. Seriously, she would have you walk through her house and she would say “Now sweet, don’t you need this mirror at your house? Well, what about this little crystal squirrel. I found this at Tuesday Morning’s and I would love for you to have it!” I have never met anyone in my entire life that put others before themselves like Momma Mae.

These two women gave me such beautiful examples of the selflessness that Christ calls us to. There are so many other vital attributes that these two women taught me as a young lady. I pray that as Brayden grows up, I won’t be so caught up in the latest Baby-Must-Have or the Parenting-Must-Do that I forget to teach him the things that I learned from my grandmothers.

Brayden & Blue Jeans

2010-02-11T12:17:00.000-08:00

Brayden wore blue jeans for the first time EVER today. We have had several pair that we have been itching to get him into but they have all been way too big for him. UNTIL TODAY.... Yeah! He looks so adorable! Of course I grabbed my camera to get some adorable pictures...and my battery is dead. Since it is snowing outside like crazy, Brayden & I have opted to spend a quiet, cozy day at home near the fire. I'll have to get a camera battery another day and record his 2nd day in blue jeans!!

This week has been great! He has done really well adjusting to life in his room! He seems to like his crib and loves to play on his floor gym. He loves to nap on his tummy but oddly enough doesn't like to play on his tummy. We have also started the early early stages of sleep training. Right now we are just focusing on established a sleep, eat, play routine. This has been challenging because he likes to sleep, eat, play, eat..... uh-huh! The boy is eating alot!! Last night we got him down an hour earlier than we ever have and he stayed down for 5 1/2 hours. Monday night he was down from 11 pm - 5:30 am. Hopefully, we are heading in the direction of sleeping through the night. Regardless, our PT says that we are way ahead of schedule for a preemie in regards to scheduling, eating, and sleep patterns. This is a VERY good thing to for a momma to hear!

Week before last we went to our 1 month appointment with the Pedi and he was so pleased with Brayden's weight that he put us on regular formula!! Dr. Coco said that since we had brought him home at 6 lbs 1 oz he was hoping to have him at 8 lbs 6 oz by month 1. Well, considering we weighed over 10 lbs....this graduated us to regular formula! And honestly, I think this is the reason that for the past week and half he has been wanting to eat ever hour and a half! We were preparing our previous formula at a higher calorie count than this regular formula mixes at. I think that we are on the tail end of that now though, as he is curving back at eating every 3-4 hours.

Other than that....we are just plugging along! Adjusting to a "new normal" as my cousin to eloquently stated. I will get my battery replaced and post some new pictures soon! Love to all...

Kelli

Be careful what you pray (wish) for???

2010-02-05T14:52:00.000-08:00

After the last 6 months, I am beginning to understand why I should never be careful what I pray for, as if I wasn't expecting God to answer the prayer in the first place. I think the Bible talks about being "luke warm" with our faith (and subsequently our prayers) and many of you know what it says about that. Thus, I am doing all I can to be very blatant in my daily prayers.

With that said, I must also mention that I think the "honeymoon" is over. The first month with Brayden was, shall we say, accomplished on adrenaline. Kel and I were sooooo happy to finally have him home from the hospital that we floated thru December and into January riding the ecstatic emotions of having a baby. The first month is behind us (sadly) and we are moving on and up.

Now, don't get me wrong...we still are so overjoyed for this little miracle that Jesus dropped in our laps...and every day is full of new things that he is able to do that are WAY beyond his "development stage." However, I think for me personally, the lack of sleep has begun to catch up with me, and I know Kelli gets more and more excited when I get home from work so she can have a little more "me time" to catch up on whatever she needs to.

All this to say that, again, we spent the last 9 years in fervent prayer over being able to have children of our own...whether naturally or thru adoption. Now that that prayer has been answered, I have to look back and say that I must be very deliberate in what I pray for from here on out. I serve a God, and His Son Jesus, who are in the "business" of meeting our needs, but not always our wants. He wants to do what is best for us, in HIS TIMING, that will further His kingdom. So, I now am trying to step back and, while holding this little spitfire of a baby, look at what Jesus has in store for him and his future. Is he going to be a Pastor? Will he be an athlete? Will he be a doctor/lawyer/teacher...or heaven forbid...a banker. :)

You know... I have to say -- I give him to You, Father. Whatever Your will is for his life, allow me to be your instrument that gets him there. That raises him to be a child of Jesus, that loves You dearly, and that is open and available to your calling. I feel that is what Kelli and I tried to do in our marriage -- even thru the hard times of infertility and it led us on a path directly to Brayden.

So, Jesus, do your work thru me and Kel as your instruments in molding this little guy into the MAN you want him to be. Well rounded, polite, disciplined, and on fire for Jesus -- the rest will take care of itself.

I'll end with this... Luke 18:2-8 says ..."He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.' "For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!' "And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"

So, again, Jesus will not keep putting us off...those who cry out to Him day and night -- so be very blatant in the desires of your heart, and know that steady plodding with Jesus will get you the answer that is wrapped in His will for your life.

Side Note --> Anyone else make it to the last phrase there??? "...will he find faith on the earth?" Where are we as a society? Is anyone else fearful for the future of our country...marinate on that for a little while

Thanks for stopping by...DD

BIG BOY!!

2010-01-27T16:52:00.000-08:00

Went to Brayden's Pedi today for vaccines and checkup. WE ARE UP TO 10 LBS!! WHOO HOO! AND...we have had some first over the last few days. Last Thursday he laughed for the first time. It's so cute and ever since I have been walking around trying to get it on film...of course I haven't yet! But hopeully soon! On Monday he also played by himself on his floor gym for about 45 minutes before he got fussy! AND....he is FINALLY swinging in his swing. The first few times he cried and then he got to where he was ok being in it only if I was sitting beside him. So..we are making progress. The doctor also is so please with his weight gain that we are off the special formula! Dr. C said he was hoping that BD would be around 8.5 lbs and to see he is at 10 lbs.... he was pretty proud of him!

Here are some new pictures....

Best Mom EVER......

2010-01-25T09:50:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I have to wonder....did the nurses and doctor's really know what they were doing when they sent a helpless little baby home with me? Seriously!!!!!

Last week I took the opportunity to take a cat nap while Brayden was down. I was on the couch and he was in the bedroom. I laid down and was almost asleep and thought "I should really put the dogs outside so if they bark, they will not wake us up." What seemed like just seconds later ( 45 minutes), one of the dogs had barked a few times and woke me up. I raced to the back door half asleep to put them outside before they woke up BD. I opened the door and began calling them...but none of them came. I heard the dog bark again and got upset becuase it sounded like the dogs were in the bedroom! HOW DID THEY GET IN THERE? They aren't even allowed in the bedroom. I raced to the bedroom and opened the door.....only to realize that it wasn't a dog barking at all!!! Brayden had waken up and was randomly jabbering in his crib! The dogs were all napping themselves in the laundry room!

Again BD was napping in his bassinett just a few weeks after we brought him home. He hadn't really gotten into a schedule yet so I was still unsure as to how long he would go down for a nap. I had just put him down and went to the kitchen to clean some bottles for the next feeding. I turned on the sink water for it to get how and started to dissemble the bottle parts to wash. Through the baby monitor I heard BD start to cry and immediately rushed in. ( This was before I started to read Baby Wise and realized that they usually will settle themselves back down.) His pacifyer had fallen out so I tried to put that back in but that didn't work. I re- swaddled him, I checked his diaper, I bounced him, rocked him, and burped him. About 25 minutes later he fell back asleep and I laid him down. Upon returning to the kitchen I realized that I had left the water running becuase I thought I would be RIGHT BACK! One of the bottles had fallen down into the drain and stopped the sink up. THANK YOU LORD...we have the inset sink with the overspill guard. The water was only running over to the other side of the sink and had not flooding the counters!

Lessons I have learned this month:

1) Never assume you will "Be right back."
2) Everytime BD cries it does NOT warrant putting a bottle in his mouth.
3) The better BD naps during the day, the better he sleeps at night.
4) Borrowed and gently used clothes are truly a finanical blessing.
5) Friends who send you gently used clothes are truly a financial blessing.
6) Don't jump up at the first whimper or cry.
7) Showers are a daily highlight.
8) Trips to Chick-Fil-A for a Large Sweet Tea followed by Wal-Mart are a weekly highlight
9) Don't wait at the door with the baby when your husband comes home from work. He's had a long day too.
10) Some kids poop twice a day, and some poop every other day! IT'S OKAY!
11) Morning times are the sweetest times for cuddling and playing
12) Even a baby boy has some amazing trajectory.... from both ends.
12) We are thankful that we didn't buy that new couch.
13) Having a baby and a new puppy at the same time is not suggested.
14) AND....not matter how much baby baggage you have to get out of the car..always make sure you get your wallet and purse out! EVEN IF IT REQUIRES A SECOND TRIP!

See you next month for BEST MOM EVER!!!

Life at Home....

2010-01-25T09:22:00.000-08:00

This morning when I was changing Brayden's diaper, I was looking and looking and I really couldn't even find the scars from his hernia surgery back at the beginning of the month. I made me think how God has used this little life to heal so many scars in our own lives, not mention the healing he has begun in Brayden's. Praise to God Almighty for the power and life found in the name of Jesus.

January has flown by, as many of you have already told me that time will fly faster than ever. Brayden is up to 9 lbs now and settling into his new home and routine well. David went back to work on the 4th and we sure have missed having him at home! The first week and half was challenging, which is something that really caught me by surprise. I have been waiting to have a baby at home for 8 ½ long years and while my heart was so full of joy, change is something that takes me a while to welcome. For the past 10 + years I have been up in the morning and at the office working in the Multi-Family sector of Real Estate. By 10 am I have usually have at least 2 conference calls, 4 cups of coffee, 10 phone calls, and turned in multiple performance reports. I think the word that reflects the last 10 years would be..Productivity. How much can I get done in 1 day? Can I get done today more that I did yesterday? And while this motivation had served me well in the business realm, my focus and purpose has now shifted! Now, I am lucky if I can get a shower and brush my teeth before David gets home. The laundry and house work are not exactly getting done on a weekly basis and when I look around….well, it is hard for me not to feel like I am completely UNPRODUCTIVE!
I have gently been reminded that my “job description” has changed my daily goals and “to do” lists have been re-hauled. I must remember that my duties just got bumped up the totem pole of importance. I have this little life that solely depends on me. I am his food and security, love and shelter, comfort, warmth, teacher and protector. I have often heard acquaintances remark how difficult it was switching from the board room to the nursery. I believe that the enemy tries to deceive us by diverting our eyes to anything other than the path that the Lord has called us to. For if we do indeed follow the individual calling, according to His will, the path that the Almighty has called us to, His Kingdome will be glorified.

Enough preaching..I will leave that to David because he is so much more eloquent with words. I LOVE being at home with Brayden and I pray that we will financially be able keep me at home. One of our frieds told me the sweetest poem the other day and I must share;

Cobwebs be slient

and dust go to sleep.

Becuase I'm rocking my baby

and babies don't keep!

We have so many things to be thankful for that I pray that I don't let the enemy distract and overshadow the joy that the Lord has so graciously given to our family!
Psalm 107:6-9

Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,

And he saved them from their distress.

He led them by a straight way

To a city where they could settle.

Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love

And his wonderful deeds for men, for he satisfies the thirsty

And fills the hungry with good things.

No Fear in Love

2009-12-28T17:11:00.000-08:00

Bringing little Brayden home has been a journey. The few days when we were home waiting for our room in to be scheduled seems like a haze. I was nervous, excited, and fearful. Just a few days before we have been delivered the news about a growing cyst on our baby's spine. The surgery that would be needed would be long, expensive, and extremely risky. The good news was that at the moment there was no immediate need. The doctors decided to wait, image regularly, and monitor this cyst to determine the appropriate time to operate. We have been praying ever since that this cyst would be a non-issue and never need this yucky operation.

When the doctor asked us to be at the hospital in a few hours on Monday, December 7th, we grabbed our bag, settled the dogs for the night, and headed to Ft. Worth. Neither of us said very much on the ride over. My mind was reeling with questions. Would I be able to care for this fragile little life that for the past 2.5 months has required teams and teams of doctors? I remember that I had asked David a few days before "What if I get him home and we don't bond? What if I don't love him?" I felt fear becoming even more dominated in my thoughts.

The night went surprisingly fast. We had Brayden in the room with us and even though we had divided up feedings...we found that we were both up at every sigh, whimper, feeding, and changing. David proved to be an absolute ROCK those two days. The next morning we had a busy schedule. Exit consultations with our neonatologist, nurses, dieticians, neurologists, surgeons, case workers, insurance reps, and paperwork with the adoption agency. On top of all of this, the birth mom ended up coming up to the hospital and spent most of the day with us, as well. David had a GREAT strategy...he asked me to take care of Brayden and the birth mom and he would take care of all the business with the insurance agency & the agency.

Just before everything kicked into high gear...I needed to talk to my Dad. I just needed to hear his voice. Up to this point, we still hadn't asked anyone's opinion on our decision to adopt this baby. We were very careful to isolate our hearts from earthly opinions to ensure that we were only listening to the heavenly father's voice and direction. But now....I needed to hear my earthly Father's voice. Nothing in this world makes me feel safer than my dad. When he answered I began to cry and he asked me what was on my heart? Looking back, how ironic was his wording. It wasn't "What was wrong" but "What was on my heart?" He knew right away that I had a heart issue. For the first time in this entire process, I asked someone if they thought we were making the right decision. Through tears streaming down my face, I asked my daddy "Are we making the right decision to adopt this baby?" Even though it was my earthly father's voice in the response, I felt the spirit move in me as he answered. “You know, when you & David first told me about this baby I wanted to tell you guys to not go any further in the process. You guys are my kids and I wanted to protect you. Then when the babies were born with so many complications, I picked up the phone so many times to tell you guys that I thought ya'll should wait for a different baby. But again, the Holy Spirit kept my mouth shut. Then when your mother & I came that first time to see Brayden in the hospital, I felt the Holy Spirit wash over me when I was standing by his incubator. I have never felt anything like it. I knew that God had delivered this baby to you & David and that through ya'lls faithfulness to the calling of God our family would experience blessings and miracles. Christ saw past all our special needs and sickness and decided to love us despite all the complications, to love us to the point that he gave His life for us. And in essence, you and David have been called to sacrifice for love as well, to see past all the things the world calls imperfections and love this little baby that God created. We are going to see the power of God like we never have before Kelli. And I can't promise you that it's going to come in complete healing, but I do have confirmation that Brayden was born for our family. And your mother & I are going take every step in this journey with you & David." He continued to tell me that God doesn't quite on us and that the word promises that He will finish the good work He has completed in us.

We got off the phone with my Dad asking me to go read 1 John 4:18. "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear." What an amazing verse my Dad gave me to meditate on. That phone conversation lead me straight to the word of God that I needed to loosen the power of fear that the enemy was using to bind me. There is absolutely no fear in love!! Over the last several weeks I have not worried once about the expense of future surgeries that are not even needed at this point....and there is no doubt that I love him.

Sometimes I think the enemy resigns to the fact that he has lost the eternal battle with us, so he ramps up the battle in other ways to keep us as ineffective in the Kingdome as possible. I believe that God has chosen me & David to raise this baby. Brayden was handpicked before he was even conceived to be our son and that through this, God will be glorified. The enemy does not like our Father to be glorified. Again, fear is something that I have rarely experienced in my life and boy was it powerful. But praise God Almighty, the King of Kings & Lord of Lords that he has defeated the enemy for us and there is freedom in His word.

Our first Christmas with Brayden, we had a little miracle baby of our own. God has miraculously protected and delivered Brayden from death & despair into life. Jesus came to bring us life and we hold in our arms a daily remembrance of that power that is available to all of us. "....So that we may have life and have it more abundantly." May Brayden's life radiate the abundance of life in Jesus. Thank you all who have prayed...please keep praying. We love you very much. ~ Kelli

Some Pictures

2009-12-21T15:47:00.000-08:00

All is well...just waiting for our 1st Christmas with Brayden!! We are excited and will get to spend it with both sides of our family

For this Child...

2009-12-13T13:57:00.000-08:00

1 Samuel 1:27-28

27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. 28 So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD."

It has been 8 years in the making, but our son has come home.

Last Tuesday we brought Brayden home after having stayed a night at the hospital with him to make sure we could take care of him on our own. It was a long night, but we made it through and were able to get him home by about 5pm on Tuesday. Since then we haven't slept much, but you can't wipe the smiles off our faces. That's not to say it's been all roses and cherries, as the diaper changes with a screaming baby at 2am can raise the blood pressure some, but it is all just part of the job. :)

We have had several visitors, and our wonderful YoungLife friends have brought us dinner for 4 nights since we've been home. Mimi and Papa Jack visited yesterday, and my folks (Nana and Pawpaw) have been by twice. Oh, and I can't forget the life saver that Kaysi was the night we came home as she showed up with PIZZA!!!! Can't tell you how AWESOME that was!!!

Nana even came over last night and helped me with Brayden while Kelli had her bus tour for WyldLife -- it's an all night bus ride where they take about 200 middle school kids all over town to do different activities, and it runs from 6pm to 6am. So, I had my mom come over and help me with Brayden since Kelli would be pretty worn out today. She took the 11pm - 5am shift -- she's AMAZING -- and I took over at 5am so she could go home to try to sleep a little before the kept the babies at Church!! Man, that was really great of her to do for us, as I'm not sure how Kel and I would've done without her help.

Otherwise, we've seen our Pediatrician (Dr. Coco) and the Opthamologist (Dr. Norman) for routine check-ups and all seems to be well. Our Pedi did tell us we have to be really careful in taking him out in public with it being Cold/Flu season, so we have to be careful where we take him, but we are going to try to get him to see my family and some of Kelli's family for Christmas next week. We also have about 5 different hand sanitizers around the house so we can squirt some if we need it. The last thing we need is to take any chances with him getting sick.

So, that's what we've been up to the last week and now I have to get ready to head back to work next week so I can get some training done. The good thing is I have the last two weeks of the year off, so we'll get to have 1 week to see how Kel and I can manage me back at work, and then I'll get to be home for 2 weeks again.

Love you all and hope to see/hear from you soon!!

Thanks for stopping by,
DD

Speechless

2009-12-04T08:17:00.000-08:00

From the very begining...we have had things happen that have made me and David sit up and look at each other and say "Really? Did that just happen? Did God just do that? Did HE just save us from that catastrophy or send that person, phone call, email, or verse just to me so that I can KNOW and FEEL HIS presence?" I could write for days and days on all the myserious ways that God's hand has been so incredibly visible to us through this journey. I mean, David truely had is right when he said..."This is the kind of stuff that has turned us into Jesus Freaks!" And it really is....

I don't have a lot of time this morning to post but I just couldn't head back up to the hospital without just a quick update. Man.....I have been so usettled this week and anxious. I think I always tend to get a little edgey when Brayden has test that are pending. I need to learn to rest and dig in the word......So, Brayden had his very first brain MRI on Wed. When we called to get results yesterday, imagine my alarm when we notified that the results were not yet conclusive and the nurologist has ordered seperate MRI. When I go the his bedside....he was already gone and down in imaging. So, I sat and started to feel my palms getting a little sweaty.....and my tummy wasn't feeling so good. Then around the corner came Ginger!! Ginger was the very first nurse I had met on my first trip to see Brayden alone. I remembered being very overwhelmed and scared and, at that time, wasn't really getting alot of attention or information from anyone. Ginger was the first person that had reached out to me.....I remembered that she was very calming to me that day. And here she was, rounding the corner to come talk and visit with me again. We talked and laughed about what tremendous improvements Brayden has already made and how blessed his is. It was just the conversation I needed to be reminded of all the miracles God has already done.

Before long, Brayden was wheeled around the corner and back in my arms. Soon after, the radiologist was at our bedside. He took time to show me all the pictures and explain everything in detail. On the original MRI...at the very, very bottom was about 1 cm of Brayden's spine. The radiologist had noticed a small inflamation and then narrowing and decided to order a second MRI on his spine. PRAISE GOD FOR THAT MAN!! The nurologist and radiologist were able to find a small, fluid filled cyst that was located on Brayden's spine. However, it had not attached itself to the spine and they are extremnely hopeful that they will be able to drain the fluid without any further complications or side affects. Oh, I can't even begin to express......our God is so faithful and mighty. Thank you Lord Jesus for answering our prayers that their eyes would be open.....that they noticed and we were able to avoid serious implications down the road. Oh Lord, thank you for THAT doctor and his attention given to our son! Praise you for you have promised us that you will finish the good work which you have started....and you are not yet finished knitting this precious little boy together.

The nurologist said that he is also extrenmely pleased with Braydent, nurologically. He acts and moves just like a normal 37 week old baby. Considering all the damage that was done to his little brain in-utero, before birth, that this is truely remarkable. The areas are definitley damaged but he believes that we will be able to manage them and work with Brayden. He does not see any signs of further damage and he said that this MRI in conjuction with Brayden's current functions, should bring us great hope. WHAT A GREAT OPPORTUNITY...that I had to share with Dr. Peters where our hope comes from. He agreed and said that whatever we are doing....we need to keep doint it becuase there are definitely miracles happening his little Brayden's life.

I am so grateful and just in a constant state for praise this morning. We are waiting to see when they will schedule the proceedure. So for now, the discharge has been postponed...but PRAISE OUR FATHER that this was identified and will be correct. Please continue to pray for our little angle. The amount of people that we have lifting Braydent the the feet of Jesus....I KNOW that is the "whatever you're doing, keep doing it!" Please don't stop! If I could grant every single person that has faithfully prayed for our little Braydent...their hearts desire, I would. Becuase you all have granted me mine. I love you all...so very dearly!

Kelli

ps...sorry if there is alot of spelling errors this morning. :)

Waiting Game

2009-12-02T20:24:00.000-08:00

Not much changed today with our status. David & I rose early this morning to head to Witchita Falls to complete some requirements from the adoption agency, Inheritance Adoptions. We were there most of the day and headed home around 4 for David to scamper off the class tonight for a final presentation in one his classes. I had a Wyldlife Leadership meeting tonight preparing for our upcoming Bus Tour in a few weekends. Neither of us were able to get to the hospital and it’s just awful on my emotions to think a whole day went by and we didn’t get to hold or love on our baby. But every time we leave, we pray that angles will circle his crib and guard him until we are able to get back and put our arms around him.

When I called this morning to check on Brayden’s morning Monica, our nurse, said he had a great night and is doing great with his feedings. No Room In scheduled from the rounds this morning, so it looks like we probably won’t be checking in tomorrow. That could change with tomorrow mornings rounds but we will keep everyone posted. The doctors have just advised us to view this as waiting for a baby to come…..we are just waiting on him to get ready to come home! We sure are ready!

For me personally, it’s surprising at how I still have days that the unknown gets to me. The unknown of Brayden’s future, my career, when he’s going to come home…how, when, where, why? I am definitely that typical Type A personality, I like to have all the answers and a plan and a plan to execute the plan…and so forth! But the enemy is here to steal, kill, and destroy. Steal my joy that my heavenly Father has given me in my salvation, kill my peace with lies, and destroy the hope that I have in the promises given to me in the word. Today, I did not do a very good job in defeating the enemy in his attempt to drive my emotions with fear. I hate to admit that today I truly struggled with fear and anxiety.

David said that we will have strong days and we will have days like today but that we need to remain open and vulnerable to each other so that we can be there to talk and pray through it together. Today was my weak day and the Lord strengthen David to encourage and pray over me. When things seem to be spinning out of control the Word, my husband, and my parents are my 3 anchors that I can count on. I am thankful for the days when I am weak and lean on Him. Tomorrow….is a new day and who know what might happen tomorrow. Please continue to pray for us and for Brayden. We are waiting for his Brain MRI results.

Much love

Kelli

ETD on Brayden Jackson

2009-12-01T18:18:00.001-08:00

Hello Friends & Family,

We apologize for the recent vacancy of emails and blogs. David & I received word this week that Brayden is looking like he just might want to come home as early as Thursday/Friday. In reality, we are looking at checking into the hospital Thursday-Friday and then coming home between Saturday - Sunday. He will have to tolerate full feeds, maintain his temperature, and show steady weight gain before we can begin this process. We think we have finally found the right formula, he has taken all his feeds today without any throwing up. We haven't had weight gain in a few days but since we think we have the right food now, that should help with the weight gain. He will also have to pass a car seat test before they will let us go home. He will have to maintain his breathing and heart rate for 2 hours in a car seat, so we are praying he will pass the first time!

We are anxious and excited....AND TOTALLY UNPREPARED! David thinks and feels like he is trying to get sick with a headcold, too. He hasn't seen baby in a few days trying to stay away and get better. But how fitiing that Brayden is coming home in the midst of this holiday season. As we pause to remember the humble beginings of our Lord & Savior so many years ago. With no nursery or crib....no fancy matching diaper stackers, valanances, or bumbos the King of Kings entered this world in a stable and slept in a manager with hay amongst the livestock. We pray that we will reflect upon the miracle of life and already answered prayers that we only begun to see from our might Father. Thank you all for walking and reading down this journey with us. Now it starts to get exciting!! AND WE CAN"T WAIT!!!!!

much love~

David & Kelli

ps. Brayden has a brain MRI scheduled for tomorrow. David & I will be in Witchita Falls completing some requirements with the Adoption Agency. The neurologist wanted an MRI before Brayden was discharged in order to know what we need to have scheduled before we leave the hospital, i.e. physical therapy, occupational therapy, monthly appointments w/ a neurologist. Please pray for an amazing God-breathed picture of our little angels brain. We claim healing in the power of the blood of Jesus Christ and know that Brayden is wonderfully and fearfully made in God's image! Please lift up the doctors and techs as they conduct and read the MRI.

Angels Among Us

2009-12-01T07:10:00.000-08:00

"Keep on loving each other as brothers. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained ANGELS without knowing it." Ephesians 13:1-2 (emphasis added by me)

What does this tell us? Well, first and foremost it claims the Truth that Angels exist and are among us. It also reminds us to be very careful how we treat others -- to treat them with LOVE, as brothers.

I bring this up to say that over the past few months, with our joy over Brayden we have been entertained by Angels. Now, I'm twisting this passage some, so please let me put this disclaimer -- I am going to talk about earthly (figurative) angels -- but this verse speaks directly to there being Heavenly Angels that are among us, and for us to be aware of how we treat others as they could be Angels and we won't know it.

With that said...

The outpouring of love we've experienced over the past few months is indescribable. We have received letters, phone calls, visits, and emails covered in love for Brayden, and my family. THANK YOU so much for letting us know you care for us, and love us. We are so thankful for our friends and family who are good about reaching out and letting others know they are on their minds/hearts.

We have received several blessings from folks that know how hard adoption can be - financially, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and thru this process we've been so stressed we can't see straight, but then we'll get a phone call, or a response to one of our posts on here, or an email that really lifts our spirits and let's us know we are fighting the good fight.

Kelli even had a very (shall we say) "intentional" conversation with one of the Senior Pastors at our Church just 2 days ago on Sunday. (I would hate to say it was a "random" conversation -- because God isn't random -- He's very intentional)

Kelli had sent a link to our blog to this Pastor who has since forwarded it over to our Head Pastor. They have been reading our posts (and will probably read this) and it appears that God may be spearheading an adoption outreach program in our Church. Kelli mentioned it to me on our way home Sunday and I have been mulling it over since then. I don't want to get off track from the original sightline of my post, but let's just say it is a very intriguing idea, and one I would have never thought about -- yet can't seem to get it out of my head that maybe God is working on me in regard to this. We'll see how it shapes up, but it would be a total 180 from our current "career path" (whatever that really is). To say that conversation was uplifting would be a tremendous understatement, so again, know that God works in "intentional" ways.

So...back to what I was saying -- The Lord has blessed us with tremendous friends and family and I need to confess a few things. I am terrible when it comes to getting compliments. It is something I need to work on, but I get pretty embarrassed when people tell me they're proud of me, or that I'm doing a good job, or whatever the compliment may be. I sometimes fear that I brush those off too quickly and don't do a good enough job of thanking the people giving the compliment. It is hard for me to take those compliments, yet I am afraid I can be a little rude when I brush them off, so please let me say that I am so very thankful for those who have come and told me that they are proud of what Kelli and I are doing with Brayden, but know that we feel like it was God who has chosen us to do this. We are just following His will for our lives, even if it means it will change our lives forever. We still don't know what kind of challenges lay in store for Brayden, and it breaks our heart to see him struggle thru with all the tubes and IV's in his body. So far he seems to be progressing, but he has a long road to hoe. Continue to pray for his complete healing.

I'll end by saying, again, I can't express in words what it means to me to hear some very dear friends and family members tell me they are proud of me...I'll say this -- my father-in-law (Andrew) drew my name at Thanksgiving which meant he had to say why he was thankful for me. The words he spoke drove straight to my heart, and although as a "man" its hard to show outward emotion, I was immensely touched by the words he spoke. He is a private man, somewhat like I am, so for him to say the things he said was very meaningful for me. He may not say much, but when he speaks it tends to be very heartfelt and profound. I can't say enough how proud I am to have married into the Overton (and McCann) family as so many people have reached out to us, and loved on us.

...shocking -- I know -- another long post!!

Anyways, we love you all and I am so thankful to have a support group that picks us back up, dusts us off, and gets us back on the road Jesus has chosen for us. We are the Church -- the hands and feet of Christ, and we are called to uplift each other, and love each other as brothers.

Please let me know how Kelli and I can return the favor when one of you is in need of love. We are overflowing with it, and have learned some very neat ways to love back. We seem to be on the receiving end of love for now, but know that very soon we will need to be on the giving end.

Thanks for stopping by,
DD

Sweet Times

2009-11-23T10:16:00.000-08:00

We had some very sweet times with Brayden this weekend -- see the pics below.

Kel and I spent the majority of our weekend at the hospital since we are going to be out of town for 3 days for T-giving.

Brayden is doing very well, and getting to be a BIG BOY!! He is finally starting to pass his food which has been a big concern over the past 3 weeks or so. It still isn't passing as often as we would like, but we are holding onto the progress he has made in just the last 4 days. He has had an upper and lower GI over the past week, and those have all come back as "clear" - meaning he has no obstructions. So, it appears that his intestines just need some more time to process food, so we just need to learn to be a little more patient. :)

Because of the clear Upper and Lower GI's we were able to give him his FIRST BOTTLE!!!! We were so excited that the Dr signed off on allowing us to let him start to bottle feed. They are only giving him 10mL's every 3 hours, but he is taking it like a CHAMP!!! He sucks that stuff down in no time, and the nurses have said he is doing very well there ... he has to be able to take a bottle before they let him come home. Thank you JESUS!!!!

He had his monthly Brain Sonogram on the 19th, and it appears that he still has a cyst in the left side of his brain. The good news there is that it doesn't appear to be getting any larger, so we are happy about that (if we can be happy about anything regarding the cyst). There is also a bright white spot that is appearing and the Dr believes that to possibly be another cyst developing, but we probably won't know anymore on that until his next sonogram on Dec 19th. At this point we aren't sure what the cysts mean, but being on the left side of his brain, the Dr said they could affect his motor skills on the right side of his body. Our prayer is that Jesus will re-wire his brain and these cysts will have no negative effects on Brayden -- please join us in this prayer.

Otherwise, he is very well tempered, does not seem to be in any pain, and has really enjoyed the Kangaroo Care we have been giving him. Kangaroo Care is "skin-on-skin" therapy that you can see in the pics below with Kelli. We basically just strip him down to his diaper, and then we tuck him into our shirt and let him feel our skin. The Dr's say that, of course, he should still be in his mother's womb, so the Kangaroo Care is the closest we can get to simulating that because it allows his body to feel our temperature, heartbeat, and hear our voice and breathing. It also helps in keeping him warm. The goal is 4 hours per day, so that is what we will shoot for from here on out. Of course, that makes it hard for us to go out of town for T-giving, but we are excited to get to see some of Kelli's family on Andrew's side...but we will be anxious to get home too.

Since it's the week of Thanksgiving -- I am so very thankful for Jesus who has blessed us with many things, but our most recent gift of Brayden has been truly a miracle -- in more ways than one. I am thankful for the Lord putting Kelli in my life, to allow me to experience all of life's blessings and tribulations. She is a rock and has been so great with Brayden, sacrificing so much time and energy and prayers. I am also so thankful for our friends and family who have rallied around us to pray with us, cry with us, and rejoice with us in our most recent endeavor. Obviously my focus is around Brayden, but we have always had immense support from our friends and family - even before Brayden was given to us.

Please continue to pray for Brayden as he still has another month or so before they are looking to let him come home. We are shooting for Dec 19th, and the Dr thinks we may even get to bring him home before that based on how well he is taking his bottles. We still have some paperwork to get done with the Adoption Agency, so please pray we are able to get that completed and can get him home as soon as possible.

Thanks for stopping by
DD

Momma helping with his passy

Momma doing a little Kangaroo Caring (and fixing to steal a kiss!)

More Kangaroo Care

Brayden loves his Kangaroo Care time -- wide eyed here

Brayden getting a bottle -- Momma is so excited!!

WE STILL NEED TO SELL THIS THING!!!!! --> $5,000

We need the money -- you need the EXPERIENCE!!!

2009-11-16T07:45:00.000-08:00

We have to sell the ATV to raise funds and allow us to get Brayden home when that time comes -- SO COME BUY MY 4-WHEELER!!!! :)

That's right folks -- we need the cash and you need the experience of riding an ATV with the wind in your hair, the hum of the engine, and the sweat dripping off your brow!

I have it listed right now on Craigslist for $5500...but will sell it to YOU for the low low price of just $5,000 if you so choose to step out on that limb and enjoy the ride of your life!

I have LOVED having this ATV and I HATE having to sell it (just as Kelli hated selling the boat), but the time has come for me to grow up and sell some of our toys so we can pay for this adoption and the ensuing Dr. Bills that will begin to pile up shortly.

I have more pics than this if you're interested, and would love it if you want to come test drive it as it's so much fun!

Call me 214-802-5605 or email me if you or someone you know may be interested!!!!

2008 Polaris Sportsman H.O. 4X4 ATV 500
It is green with several upgrades -- push button wench, push button AWD, hand guards, tow rope in back, reverse override system, parking brake, front storage, rear storage box (removable), among others. It has almost 40 hours on it with 311 miles -- not even broken in yet!!

Big Week for Brayden

2009-11-15T21:35:00.000-08:00

Hello friends!

We have a big week with Brayden this week. Tomorrow morning they are going to run another contrast that they will be looking at his motility of the stomach in different areas. Since he is still not pooping, they are back to ensuring we are not looking at any obstructions. They he has another brain sonogram on Nov 19th that they will be looking at the cyst to see what has occured with it's developoment over the past month.

I will report as we progress through the week. Please pray for Jesus's healing to radiate through Brayden's life this week. We love you.

Kelli

Prayin' for Poop

2009-11-11T06:11:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Brayden's tummy looked much better when I got to the hospital and he was sleeping very comfortablly! The nurses told me right when I walked in "WE GOT HIM TO POOP!" and were super excited with me to finally see some things moving. I got some bedside time with Dr. Lawrence and the Physical Therapist yesterday so I was able to get alot of questions and additional informatoin. Dr. Lawrence ordered some contrast tests, upper/lower GIs, in order to see why we seem to be having this back up issue. He said that, unlike the last time, didn't look like we were looking at an infection this round so we needed to see why little man wasn't doing-the-do!

I got to Kangaroo Kare him from about 8:30 yesterday morning until they came to get him for his tests at noon. IT WAS SO AWESOME!! He weighed 3lbs 4 oz yesterday morning, so it was good to see him putting on weight.

I headed back to the house for an afternoon of work and David headed to the hospital after he was finished wiht his workday around 4:445. Brayden got a night of more Kangaroo Kare with Big Daddy and absolutely loved it. The nurses and PTs have really stressed the important of Kangaroo Kare- skin on skin- for Brayden right now. It is very calming and supports healing, considering he really should still be in the womb. At this time in the pregnancy he would be rolling into a tight little ball with his hands and legs all tucked in. So having the skin on skin, while keeping his legs and arms tucked to the center of his body is really important for the new few weeks.

Praise God...all the test results came back normal from his tummy tests! YEAH..thank God for hearing our prayers and laying your healing hands on our little son. I am so thankful that God's hand has remained so evident and powerful in Brayden's journey and I know that He will continue to protect him. I sometime sit and wonder when I am holding him what kind of big plans God must have for this little creation for God to have put together such and amazing start to his journey. I am so so so so ready to get him home with us!

Thank you all to our precious friends and family who is ready and praying. Please leave a post or send an email as we are creating a book for Brayden to see when he gets older of all the people who love and have prayed for him! We love you guys!!

Kelli Dowdney

Two Steps Forward...One Step Back

2009-11-09T08:30:00.000-08:00

It's a shame that happens to be the a Paula Abdul song...but I'll let it slide this time. :)

Brayden was taken off his breast milk feeds 3 days ago, due to his tummy just not processing it the right way. The nurses are worried there may be some kind of obstruction, which in turn gets us a little freaked out. His primary Dr is out of town, so today and tomorrow the nurses will be running tests to see if they can figure out what's going on.

Kelli spent pretty much all day at the Hospital yesterday, as she wasn't able to see him Friday and Saturday. She said that she got to hold him for a lot of that time, which was good for her, but we both find it hard to leave.

This is really disappointing as he appeared to have gotten over the infection in his intestines, but now the nurses aren't sure if it's come back or not. I guess it's the "not knowing" that really gets to us.

Then again -- went to the Bible last night and my "daily reading" was Matthew 8. In verses 23-26 Jesus calmed the storm -- "Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!" He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm."

The first part of that Chapter showed Jesus' Healing Power -- which in our case would be deeply desired, but I felt led to share the calming of the storm story. Why? Well, I know right now Kelli is experiencing a storm. I too am worried about the little guy, but have found some very calming peace knowing that Jesus is in total control of this situation. Not to say Kelli doesn't have peace, but I just know that she is so in love with Brayden that she loathes seeing him in pain.

What we have to remember is that Jesus already knows the outcome of this story. He knows why Brayden is going thru this, and He won't put more on Brayden than he can handle. It would be my joy to look back on this situation to see all the wonderful works Jesus will have worked through it. My first thought is -- what if this swollen belly leads the Dr's and nurses to something more severe...maybe that's why it isn't going away. Maybe there is a larger problem that the Dr hasn't discovered yet, but thru these tests and cultures being examined, maybe they are able to catch something soon enough that will save him from further complications.

Jesus can calm the storm, He can heal the wounded, He has this all under control. Am I still nervous about it -- in my "humanness" ...sure, I'm still worried about Brayden. However, I have to do all I can to let that go, and trust that Jesus has our best interests at heart.

Please continue to pray, as we continue down this path with Brayden with Jesus as our guide.

Thanks for stopping by...DD

Chugging Along

2009-11-05T17:56:00.000-08:00

Well, Brayden seems to have pushed thru the infection, he is breathing completely on his own (no more tubes - AT ALL), and he is back on regular feeds (breast milk). He is also beginning to suck on his pacifier, and the nurse mentioned that if he keeps it up he may be able to start bottle feeding soon.

His intestines are still a little distended (swollen), which does not allow him to process his food properly. We haven't heard any news about his brain because he won't have another sonogram until Nov 19th. He also had an eye test just two or three days ago and they found a ridge on his eye that is abnormal -- at this point they are going to see if it will heal on its own, but if not they will initiate drops to help.

So, right now we are taking the good with the bad and we are focusing on the fact that he seems to be progressing more than he is digressing. He is an active baby and the nurses have taken a liking to him. That's good because we need as many of them caring about him (and for him) as we can get. Kel and I have been able to spend some good time with him the last couple days. During the week, I get to see him on Tues Nights, so we went on Tuesday and the pics below are from that visit. Then, today (Thurs) MiMi was in town and got to see Brayden and was able to hold him for the first time. She was a smitten kitten, but we already knew that. :)

We are so thankful for those of you who have sent well wishes and encouraging words. We hold onto those dearly, and know that the prayers are making a difference. We know his infection went away because God willed it to happen, and we are now continuously in prayer over his brain, eye, and intestines.

Sorry -- no sermon tonight, but I wanted to get this update out along with a few pics.

We are excited for his progress, but we know he still has a few hurdles he needs to overcome, but we are relying on the One who created him and know that He will mold and shape Brayden in Perfection. (whether we as the world consider it "perfect" or not, which to me really doesn't matter)

We are also counting the days until we can get him home. Kelli has been "nesting" recently and trying to find a crib, bedding, playpen, and all the other things you need (or want) when you bring a baby home. We have registered for a few things, but what an overwhelming process that is -- we still can't figure out the right pattern for the bedding, but it will come (hopefully!).

Thanks for stopping by, we love you all, and know that we want to hear from you. Email, call, or respond to this blog. We would love to hear from you, and find out what's going on in your world -- as we feel like we only get to talk about us, but we want to hear about you too.

Sincerely...DD

Here he is sucking on his passy

Momma likes him in a beanie

This one is just too cute not to post...

"Hey everybody...thanks for stopping by!"

He has always got this arm in the air!! It's pretty funny

Cute pic, but we're glad he doesn't have the breathing tube anymore.

He's sucking his thumb in this one...needed to capture it on film.

He's a squirmer...and we think it's hilarious!!

Our sweet boy

Thankfulness & Joy

2009-10-31T09:29:00.000-07:00

The last week, despite my concern for Brayden being sick this week, I have found myself full of joy and thankful for this journey we have started. Going back to the beginning, I have to say that it was mostly overwhelming fear, disappointment, and confusion. The God has been gracious to wash over my racing mind with peace, and joy, and gratefulness, and excitement! With so many things rushing through my mind on a daily, hourly, second by second basis......listening to all the "concerning" medical terminology and what they say our son will more than likely NOT be able to do.....it was hard for me find truth. I struggled! But I dug in the word and prayed and prayed like I have never in my life prayed before! And I was sitting in my office one morning and I felt it...I felt God's peace wash over me like a warm comfy sweater that you just pulled out of the dryer on a cold morning. I know it was from God.

Since, God has opened my heart and my eyes and allowed me to see His hand. Brayden hasn't even come home from the hospital and already what a tremendous impact he has had on my heart, on David's heart, on our marriage, on our relationship with the Lord....I am amazed and the transformation He is working in David's heart. I have always loved him very much, but His words and actions are such spirit-filled and spirit-lead that I am amazed! Well, not amazed...I am so thankful. I am now thankful for this journey and for how many areas of my life God is using this to change and mold and how many hearts He is calling. I have seen God move and shape the hearts of our parents and friends....provide in financial ways that David & I look at each other and say "Did that really happen?" We have days of laughter and rejoicing and lots and lots of love!

We know that Brayden's story has yet to be written and we hold on to hope and healing in the blood of Jesus Christ, the one true and living God. We praise Him and pray that we will stay focused on His abilities and not the inadequacies of ourselves. I am so thankful that David & I are right where we are and I can't wait to see where He will lead us over the next 18 years!

so grateful...Kel

Heading to spend the day with Brayden! Our precious, dear friends from OKC

Debbie & Darrel Aebischer are in town and coming to meet Brayden today!!!!

SO EXCITED to see them and for them to see Baby D!

Then meeting David's parents for dinner and some BabiesRus time!

Be Careful Not to Take for Granted...

2009-10-30T10:51:00.000-07:00

The wonders of the Lord.

As of today Brayden's Infection Markers are down to 1.9 -- we need them to be at 0.5 or lower, but I will absolutely take 1.9!! Thank you Jesus for allowing this to happen. For now the Dr is keeping him on antibiotics until Nov 2nd - just to be on the safe side. They are also keeping him on basically a "Gatorade" diet, so no breast milk until they know he can handle it. However, they've dropped his "flow" of oxygen, which is good because he's breathing more on his own. His X-Rays looked good this morning also - his stomach still has a little distension, but they just think it's gas (gets that from his daddy) :)

Otherwise, this is the time we have to really keep our focus on the Lord. We as humans tend to look at something like this and think -- "oh, well, things are better -- so we don't need your help anymore...Lord" when in all reality this was the work of Jesus, and we need to Praise Him for it.

So, Thank you Jesus for continuing to work thru Brayden and let us all know You are in control of this entire situation. I pray that you would continue to work a miracle in this little boy's life, and that You alone would get all the glory -- not the Dr.'s, the nurses, the parents, or anyone else who is involved -- only You.

One thing I have to remain focused on is what happens when Brayden is healed completely? Do I thank the Lord a few times, and three years down the road take it for granted? Or, do I remember the immense stress, pain, and heartache this whole sitatuation has caused -- watching a poor helpless little baby struggle to breathe, eat, and go potty -- things you and I take for granted everyday. If I'm honest with myself I will understand that I won't always feel the presence of the Lord in my day-to-day life, like I do right now. If I did, then that too would get "commonplace" and I would get complacent with that relationship (take it for granted as well). So, I think (and this is totally my opinion) that the Lord allows us to get "dry" with our faith so that He can RENEW us every now and again. When I say "allows" let me clarify -- It is not HIM who does this -- it is US that does it to ourselves. We let life get in the way of our walk with Him and don't read the Bible like we should, we skip a Church service every now and then, we don't pray over the things we need to. This happens because our reliance on Him dwindles -- things are going well so we don't feel like we need Him as much. "Thanks for getting me thru the tough times, Lord, but now that all is well I can handle it on my own."

In short, my prayer is that I never take it granted, but I know that I probably will -- the strange dichotomy that is being a Christian.

Thank you Jesus for allowing to work thru all of us so we can continue to uplift each other in a world that is going to hell in a hand basket.

As for Brayden -- keep praying for his brain development and that he continues to grow big and strong.

DD

I got to take a bunch more pics last night while at the Hospital. He is getting bigger, yet still so small and fragile.

Check out his new Camo Bedding!!

Hey Folks!! Thanks for stopping by!!!

Boy, waking up can be hard to do!

Just Chillin'

Go Team!

This is a big yawn/stretch

He can get a little camera shy sometimes :)

The infection

2009-10-29T07:11:00.000-07:00

Appears to be going away! Thank you Jesus

When they found the infection his "markers" were at 1.9 -- normal is 0.5. The next day they spiked up to 15 and the next test showed 16, so the nurses felt he was levelling off. Yesterday he was down to 5 which shows the infection is going down. He won't have another test until tomorrow (30th) at 4am.

So, THANK YOU for all the prayers, but the little booger isn't out of the woods yet. Even after we get his infection to go away, he still needs to get that brain developing and get rid of his cysts. This infection has been a distraction from the cysts, and my prayer is that just maybe that medicine he got for the infection could work a miracle in his brain!

The nurses have become really fond of Brayden, which is AWESOME because they now all know his personality which helps them determine if something is wrong. They said he is a squirmer and when he had his infection he wasn't squirming at all. I called this morning and the nurse said he had tried to squirm right off his bed, so that is a good sign.

Please keep praying.

Love you all....DD

Brayden sleeping with his Prayer Bear

He had a pretty rough day last Tuesday and he was knocked out!!

The Lord works in Deliberate Ways!

2009-10-26T11:37:00.000-07:00

Some say He's "mysterious," but over the past 6 months I've come to determine He's much more Deliberate in His ways than we give him credit.

We have 2 PRAISE JESUS' for today -- 1. Brayden's infection markers are coming down. As of this morning they were up a little from yesterday, but he had another test run, and it's showing the infection to be decreasing this afternoon!! Thank you Lord. He isn't out of the woods yet, but the last thing he needs right now is to try to fight an infection...so please keep praying. 2. We sold the boat!!! What's Deliberate about that is the fact that Kelli and I hadn't listed it yet. She and I knew we needed to sell it so we wouldn't be burdened with the payments anymore, but hadn't gotten around to listing (or even taking pics of it). HOWEVER, the Lord picked the exact time for me to mention that we were going to be selling it, as I was talking to my tellers and mentioned we needed to sell our boat and our ATV to get ready for Brayden. One of them mentioned her husband had been looking at boats for about 6 months, and even picked up the Boat Trader Magazine when he could find one. So, on Sunday they came by and took a look, and I sold it to them this morning.

For me to look at that situation and think that Jesus' ways are mysterious or mystifying would be ignorance on my part. It would be a complete denial of the truth Jesus sets forth that He is Holy and Just, and that He knows the desires of my heart even before I do. To tag onto this, it also appears we have a buyer for the ATV, but it hasn't been "sold" as of yet. All of these things are preparing a way for us to be able to bring Brayden home without having to get into debt to do it. As we've read in a recent Bible Study -- God despises debt. He loathes it. In turn, Kelli and I are doing what we can to reduce our debt and pay off where it seems prudent. Thus, we're selling the boat, selling the ATV, and selling some other items we have in the house that have been identified as "wants" instead of needs. That way it will help enable Kelli to stay home and only work part-time so she can care for Brayden when the time comes that he is able to come home.

Suggested Reading -- Job 38 and 39 (yes, the whole chapters). These will give you a rather humbling look at the wonders of God that we tend to take for granted. A little excerpt I like -- God is speaking to Job with a rather harsh tone and says this... Job 38:1-7 "Then the Lord answered Job out of the storm. He said: "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone -- while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?"

The point being made here is, again -- there are no mysteries about the works of Jesus. He is precisely deliberate in His timing, actions, deeds, and purpose. Never fall for the world who says His ways are mysterious or that His timing is off. It's our timing that's off -- not His. Look back on the last 6 months of your life and really open your heart and mind to the wonders that God is working in you and through you. Challenge yourself to be open to His guidance and will for you - and NEVER "be careful what you wish for" as that too is a worldly view of unworldly purposes.

In His Grace...DD

My Sweet Boy:

God's provisions

2009-10-26T06:35:00.000-07:00

Today David and I planned on a day at home with Cameron and doing some errands around the house. But at 3:30 we got a call from Brayden's doctors. Dr. Lawrence said that Brayden had a tough morning and was pretty sick. Melissa, the NICU nurse that had been taking care of Brayden for the previous 3 days, noticed that he was acting quite different and began to order some tests. They found blood in his stool and he had an enlarged abdomen, followed by fever and multiple incidents where his heart rate fell. She immediately contacted Dr. Lawrence and they worked together to order the necessary blood work and X-Rays.

The X Rays showed enlarged intestines and his blood work alarmed them to possible infection. He ordered a procedure to give some relief and ordered a blood transfusion. We are extremely pleased and feel blessed that God has given Dr. Lawrence charge over Brayden's medical care. He is so involved and patient and informative when speaking with David & I. This afternoon, Dr. Lawrence explained to us that for whatever reason, premies often start having difficulty tolerating food around 30- 34 weeks and can develop what they refer to as N.E.C.K. It is an infection in the intestines that cause such inflammation, it could possibly lead to difficulty breathing and separation of the intestines. In such a case, they would need to remove the separated intestines in surgery and intibate for breathing, possibly needing a slow morphine drip.

PLEASE DEAR GOD, have mercy and healing on Brayden tonight! Dr. Lawrence visited Brayden before we left and said he was looking better and resting good. Dr. L was going to be there all night and into tomorrow morning. He assured us that he would be running XRays and blood work every 6 hours and would call with all results. He also assured me he would not leave the hospital tomorrow without seeing me.

I know this post is probably not as eloquent as our others....my mind feels scattered. A story God has laid on my heart as of late...is Lazarus. When Jesus first learned that Lazarus was ill, he responded " This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it." David & I firmly believe that God's glory is at the core of this story and that Jesus Christ will be glorified through Brayden's life and journey! Knowing this we anchor our feet in His word, move forward with the confidence given to us in Christ Jesus, and boldly walk down this road with praise and thanksgiving. (I am sometimes amazed at the amount of love I feel radiating through my being when I am holding Brayden. How could I have fallen this madly in love with this little creature in such a short time span. Then I am reminded how much more God loves Brayden.) David & I are just stewards of this precious little creation and we will stand fast in God's calling.

Praise and honor to our King, who opened Melissa's heart and eyes to the changes in Brayden's little body. This early detection and start of antibiotics could very well be God's way of allowing Brayden to avoid this complication. We have been praying for Brayden's doctors...for wisdom, and intuition, and a gentle bedside manner, and a vested interest, and commitment to life. This was an answer to prayers. We pray Brayden has a peaceful night and there will be no further infection development in his little body. When Jesus was speaking with Martha about Lazarus he assured her that "I am the resurrection and the life." We pray in the name of Jesus Christ for His blood to cover this infections that is trying to rob life from our son! Please join us in this prayer.

Kelli Dowdney

A different Sunday...

2009-10-25T20:30:00.000-07:00

Today David and I planned on a day at home with Cameron and doing some errands around the house. But at 3:30 we got a call from Brayden's doctors. Dr. Lawrence said that Brayden had a tough morning and was pretty sick. Melissa, the NICU nurse that had been taking care of Brayden for the previous 3 days, noticed that he was acting quite different and began to order some tests. They found blood in his stoole and he had an enlarged abdomen, followed by fever and multiple incidents where his heart rate fell. She immediately contacted Dr. Lawrence and they worked together to order the neccesary blood work and X-Rays.
    The X Rays showed enlarged intestines and his blood work alarmed them to possible infection. He ordered a proceedure to give some releif and ordered a blood transfusion.  We are extremely pleased and feel blessed that God has given Dr. Lawrence charge over Brayden's medical care. He is so involved and patient and informative when speaking with David & I.  This afternoon, Dr. Lawrence explained to us that for whatever reason, premies often start having difficulty tolerating food around 30- 34 weeks and can develop what they refer to as N.E.C.K. It is an infection in the intestines that cause such inflamation, it could possibly lead to difficulty breathing and seperation of the intestines. In such a case, they would need to remove the seperated intestines in surgery and intibate for breathing, possibly needing a slow morphine drip.
PLEASE DEAR GOD, have mercy and healing on Brayden tonight! Dr. Lawrence visited Brayden before we left and said he was looking better and resting good. Dr. L was going to be there all night and into tomorrow morning. He assured us that he would be running XRays and blood work every 6 hours and would call with all results. He also assured me he would not leave the hospital tomorrow without seeing me.
   I know this post is probablly not as eloquent as our others....my mind feels scattered. A story God has laid on my heart as of late...is Lazarus. When Jesus first learned that Lazarus was ill, he responded " This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it." David & I firmly believe that God's glory is at the core of this story and that Jesus Christ will be glorified through Brayden's life and journey! Knowing this we anchor our feet in His word, move forward with the confidence given to us in Christ Jesus, and boldly walk down this road with praise and thanksgiving. (I am somteimes amazed at the amount of love I feel radiating through my being when I am holding Brayden. How could I have fallen this madly in love with this little creature in such a short time span. Then I am reminded how much more God loves Brayden.) David & I are just stewards of this precious little creation and we will stand fast in God's calling.
Praise and honor to our King, who opened Melissa's heart and eyes to the changes in Brayden's little body. This early detection and start of antibiotics could very well be God's way of allowing Brayden to avoid this complication. We have been praying for Brayden's doctors...for wisdome, and intuition, and a gentle bedside manner, and a vested interst, and committment to life. This was an answer to prayers. We pray Brayden has a peaceful night and there will be no further infection development in his little body. When Jesus was speaking with Martha about Lazarus he assured her that "I am the resurrection and the life." We pray in the name of Jesus Christ for His blood to cover this infections that is trying to rob life from our son! Please join us in this prayer.

Kelli Dowdney

What if we had birthed him?

2009-10-23T14:38:00.000-07:00

That was the question I had to ask Kelli today, as we found out that the cyst on Brayden's brain is "polycystic" -- meaning there will be more (multiple). The Doctor said that so far he is doing well with all the things we can expect him to be doing -- eating, sucking, sleeping, going to the bathroom, and growing. So, those things are looking good. We just need his brain to develop fully, and the Doctor is telling us he has a big uphill battle to fight here. It appears that the cysts that develop will kill off those areas of the brain they are attached to, which is just as bad as it sounds. The problem is that the Dr. really doesn't know what it will mean for his future. He said that by putting him in a loving home it will help his development to progress further than if he was in a home where no one cared for him. Yet, that was still a very hard pill to swallow. You would think that even in this short time we would be getting more and more "used" to hearing bad news, but it still hits very hard.

Kelli was fighting thru tears as she told me this today, and all I could think about was..."How would we handle this same situation if we had birthed him ourselves?" If that were the case, then it would be no question of pushing thru this and doing what we need to do to take care of him. So, many of you reading this may think we're crazy for moving forward, but again, we feel called by Jesus to be in this situation, and we know that He has made Brayden PERFECT in His eyes...so who are we to doubt that Jesus has everything under control, and He will give us the resources necessary to be the stewards over Brayden's life that we are chosen to be. We must rest in that assurance, or get "cooked in the grease."

However, as I read in the Bible today...(John 19:10-11) "Do you refuse to speak to me?" Pilate said. "Don't you know I have the power either to free you or to crucify you?" Jesus answered, "You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you (Judas) is guilty of a greater sin." Why did He lead me to this verse just now? Because He wants me (and you) to know that He is the one in control, that He has the power...to heal or not to heal. AND THAT'S EXACTLY HOW IT SHOULD BE!!! I am the selfish one who wants everything to be "perfect" but the image I have of perfection is completely different than that of God. He is the Ultimate Artist and will paint our picture just as it should be.

Does this mean I'm resigned to the fact that I will be raising a child with handicaps??? Definitely NOT! Because I believe in a God who can HEAL, MEND, and REFRESH. So, I will continue to pray for His will to be done in my life and the life of my family. That His glory be shown thru all of this. That His name be praised for "Everything under the Heavens and the Earth are Yours, O Lord. And this is your Kingdom"

Wow, it appears that I'm becoming a religious nut, but go through something like this on your own, and you will quickly see that Jesus is the only one who can get you (and me) through this.

Anyways, now that I've gone on forever...again -- I will end with this:

Please, please, please continue to pray for Brayden, his brain, and that these cysts would be healed. We must call upon the name of the Lord with fervor. Pray too that His will would be done here, and that if He chooses not to heal Brayden completely, that he would provide the resources to give Brayden the very best life we can possibly give him. It will be hard...we could be more "nurses" than we are "parents" but we know that God has put Brayden on this earth so that Kelli and I can raise him up to be a symbol of God's purity. That's right -- I said purity when the world might look at Brayden and see brokenness or "impurities."

I love you all and thank you for stopping by...feel free to end with a 15 second prayer for Brayden...that's really all the time it takes.

DD

2009-10-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

These are pictures from last week

a very proud Mama!!

And these are few from last night...just to add to David's pictures!

sleepin snug as a bug in a rug!

It's such hard work waking up!!What a big yawn!

Daddy being sweet saying "Night Night, little Brayden"

There is healing power in the name of Jesus Christ.

Kelli

I have grown to hate this word

2009-10-21T08:51:00.000-07:00

James 5:14-16 says "Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

As I have said a few times before to most of you in either emails or previous posts -- now is NOT the time to be bashful with prayer. Brayden has another sonogram on Monday and we got the result yesterday. It appears that his brain is clear of fluid - blood and water - which is good. His brain has also "resolved" the situation with the white matter...which from what we understand means that there is no more white matter in his brain -- Praise Jesus! However, they have now found a cyst on his brain.

That is the word I wish I never have to hear again -- cyst. Cysts are what kept Kelli from being able to move forward with our IVF treatments, she had a cyst that ruptured over Memorial Day weekend that landed us in the E.R. This word "cyst" is becoming the root of all evil for me.

The light at the end of the tunnel here is...what does this really mean? Well, from speaking to a nurse last night while at the hospital it appears that Brayden isn't the first preemie to have a cyst on his brain, nor will he be the last. So, she said they aren't necessarily common, but they do happen. She said that what it could mean is that he is just a little slower in his development...it could go away and there be no problems...or it could get worse which could lead to a whole slew of issues.

Thus, NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE BASHFUL WITH PRAYER!!! Seriously...what are you waiting for...take 30 seconds and say a prayer for Brayden.

Ok, thank you very much for doing that. :)

Otherwise, the little bugger is getting bigger by the minute - putting on weight quickly (like his daddy) which is very good. Everything else in his tiny little body is growing just as it should, we just need some help with his brain.

Hopefully these pics come thru, but we were at the hospital last night and were there when the nurses were changing out his mask and cleaning his face, so we got some really good shots of him with his eyes open and NO MASK!!!

Enjoy!!

The blue tube they have in his face is pure oxygen to help him breathe while his mask is off. Kelli is shading his eyes so he isn't squinting so bad

Here he is yawning since we woke him up to take his mask off...

This next one is just after he shut his mouth from yawning. :)

This is probably a little close, as it looks like he has a Ginormous forehead, but the Iphone's camera is only so good.

This last one is similar to the first one in that Kelli is trying to keep him from squinting so bad.

That's our little man -- Brayden Jackson Dowdney

Answer to Prayer

2009-10-19T07:58:00.000-07:00

    You know those old cartoons, kinda like Tom & Jerry, when someone gets an idea and a light bulb appears over their head. I totally experienced that yesterday morning driving home from church. It really was like a light bulb was turned on and I had a "Well, DUH!!! " Don't you just love those moments.
     David and I had completed our last infertility treatments back in July of last year. We decided that we would "recover" physically, emotionally, and let our marriage breath, if you will, before we moved forward with adoption. We both really wanted to be called into adoption instead of just jumping in with both feet. We wanted the Lord to call us into adoption, instead of that being our solution to get a baby. We wanted to wait upon the Lord and his timing.  So, in January we started to request adoption packets and gather information. When the informatoin came, those packets sat on the kitchen table for months and months. I, more so that David, was extremely convicted that we would have a unique situation. My hearts desire was to be called to a certain baby or birth mom...that we would not go through the cattle-herding process of a traditional agency. Not that those are bad by any means!! I just wanted a personal experience...I wanted to know that God had called me and David to love and raise THIS particular child. I remember telling David once "But how can I possibly choose one Adoption Agency and send in one application? What if I choose agency A and God has my baby at agency B!" That is actually what was going through my mind. Like I was big enough or important enough to interfere with the God of the universe and His plan for our family!
     So we began to pray that God would call us to a specific baby. We wanted God's glory and providence to be evident and His name to be exhaulted through our journey. Well....wanted and still want! :) We wanted it to be "God gave David & Kelli a baby" instead of "Kelli and David adopted a baby!" So knowing that this was our prayer, why is it such a suprise that we are in the middle of the story that we are in? Why has my flesh complained and fought against what I prayed God would do through us? Becuase it's not HOW I wanted to God to "show up?" ugh....I have so much to learn!
     Essentially, I have asked Jesus if I could be the follower to walk on water. "Let your glory and power be known by calling me to walk on water, that the world will see your amazing power and providence!" So Jesus shows up, like he normally does when we call out His name. So he show up and asks us to take a chance on a little baby that has been given no chance at all. He calls us to walk on water by adoption a baby that was born 15 weeks early and tested positive for drugs. So he calls me. He calls me to get out of the boat and follow him to walk on water. To walk a road that I have never walked and that is scarry and to a place where I don't know where to place my next footing will be.   THIS IS WHAT I PRAYED FOR! Yet, for some reason I have remained in the boat. I mean, seriously why would you WANT to get out of a perfectly good boat! I know this boat and it's familiar to me and safe...and there is nothing wrong with this boat! Why would I risk getting out of the boat at the possibility that I might sink?
     This morning God really used this story to speak to me. See, when Peter was in the boat he felt safe becuase he was placing his confidence in the ability of the boat. When he was walking on water, his confidence was relying on the ability of Jesus. Where do we put our hope? It would be so easy for me and David to simply say that this baby is too much trouble..too many unknowns. We don't have to adopt this sick little baby that seems to have the world against it! Plus, we have a good, easy life now. This is a good comfortable boat that we are on!! BUT....when Jesus called us everything changed. We are called not to lean into our own understanding but to rely on the promise that He will never leave or forsake us. That there IS healing power simply by touching the hem of His garment and if we will humble ourselves and pray...He will heal our land! That at the moment we are most terrified and scared and in the most vulnerable place we have ever been....miracles will happen. People will see and know that our God is a living and powerful God that is still in the business of miracles.......that people still walk on water through the power of Jesus Christ.

So we are stepping out of the boat! This entire strory is excatly what we prayed for. So I will not be anxious or stressed or upset! I will not let the enemy steal my joy! We are boldy praying for healing. But that healing might be in Brayden's little body or it might be that God will use Brayden throughout his life to heal a broken and unbelieving generation that has yet to come. God is sovereign and we rest in his providence. Whatever that road might look like, however ever scary or unknown, he will raise up angels and believers to guide and support us along the way! Regardless, we will praise the name of Jesus.

Our son, Brayden Jackson Dowdney, was born September 19th, 2009 at 2 lbs and 1 ounce. He is currenly at Cook Children's in Ft. Worth and weighs 3 lbs. Please continue to pray for healing of the White Matter in his little brain! We can't wait for Brayden to come home and meet all his family & friends! He is already a very blessed little boy!
Oh my goodness......WE HAVE A SON!!

Kelli
.

Fussy Day..

2009-10-16T12:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning I woke up and slated out my entire day with several important errands on my ToDo List! However...after my quiet time I just felt this heaviness on my heart that I couldn't shake. I finished up some things around the house and knew I just needed to go see the baby. Baby D is at Cook Childrens in downtown Ft. Worth, which is about an hour from where we live in Carrollton. I am SO SO glad that I went yesterday. I got to speak with his NeoNatal specialist and the hospital chaplain. They have increased his food again, in hopes to get more protein and calories to help him grow. The first increased dosage was about 45 minutes after I got there. He didn't do very well and ended up pushing most of the food back out his feeding tube. Some of the od got in his breathing mask and it was a little scary there for about 3 minutes...which seemed like hours! His little heart rate fell dramatically and he got really upset.
The nurses in the NICU are absolutely amazing!! In no time at all, they had his mask off and had suctioned all the fluid out of his lungs and nose an mouth and had him breathing again and stable. He was still pretty upset but we were able to hold him and get him calmed back down! UGH.....once we had him calmed down and resting I asked his nurse if she could now work on me and my heart rate. I let him rest until his next feeding and then rocked him for about an hour!
I talked to his nurse this morning and he is doing ok. They are keeping him at the same feeding but he is still not taking the entire amount. Please pray that he will get use to the increased amount without difficulty and grow. I am not able to go to the hospital today becuase I have WyldLife this afternoon and needed to get ready for club. I really don't like not getting to see him everyday! This is definitely new. It's going to be a long 2 1/2 months! Thank you for everyone reading and praying and loving this little angel. Please keep approaching the throne with boldness as we pray for complete healing. much love!
Kell D

1st Temper Tantrum

2009-10-15T07:33:00.000-07:00

I have always heard that when you become a mom you get experience alot of firsts! Yesterday we had our 1st First! I visited Baby D yesterday and had such a sweet, quiet time with him. We rocked and talked and prayed and sange for almost 2 hours. When it came time to put him back in his incubator, we got him all bundled back up and comfortable and I was getting ready to leave and noticed that he was starting to cry..then the cry turned into a super duper red face...then his little arms and legs started to straighten out and the bottum lip was quivering. The NICU nurses came over and helped me get his settled back down. I gave him his pacifyer and he started to suckle and sound like a little pig! We all got tickled becuase they said he had never done that before..not even cried. We figured he was hungry and they started his feeding a little early for him. He settled right down and was ready for a nap!

Ahhhhh...it really hurt my heart to leave, more so than any of the times before. Which is really and answer to prayers in itself. Last week, I had a few anxious days that I was just really flooded with doubt and fear. What if I wouldn't be able to love him? What if when I looked at him or held him..I couldn't make my heart feel like he was ours? Well, God has definitely given me peace over all those fears. Doesn't the enemy love to steal our joy? Well, maybe it was easier when I was starting to get attached. It is such a self preservation defense..to distance ourselves or our hearts from things that could hurt or disappoint. But Jesus calls us into a wild abandonment of love so that the world might see HIM through our actions. I definitely know that He blessed me with a crazy, scary love for this little boy! I just can't wait to get him home and let you all meet him! Keep praying...

Kelli

Boldness for Baby D

2009-10-14T08:29:00.000-07:00

This morning I learned that Dr. Lawrence has ordered a 3rd sonogram for Baby D. This sonogram is set for October 19th am. I will be forwarding out an email asking that we get this prayer request in as many hands as possible. We are asking that while the previous sonograms were progressively more concerning, that we would see dramatic improvement with Baby D's white matter in his little brain. PLEASE, we are asking that you tell, email, call, write as many people as you know and ask for prayers that we will see the damaged areas repaired and minimized on this new brain sonogram. We are so thankful for our precious, faithful friends and family....every single prayer is vital to the future of our son.

Kelli

Quick Update

2009-10-14T06:31:00.000-07:00

Hey folks...just wanted to shoot you out a quick update. Baby D (we have a name, but Momma hasn't said I can release it yet) has put on a little weight. Let's just hope he doesn't grow to be as big as Daddy! Anywho -- he was born on Sept 19th at 2lbs 2oz, and as of yesterday weighed 2lbs 10oz !!!

So, he's putting on weight which is good. They have started to give him breast milk which will help put some weight on him, and they've also added some vitamins and proteins to his daily diet. Good stuff!!

Keep praying over his BRAIN! Again, now is not the time to hold back.

IF YOU TOOK THE TIME TO READ THIS POST -- THEN TAKE 30 EXTRA SECONDS AND SAY A PRAYER ASKING FOR HEALING OVER THIS LITTLE BABY BOY!!

Acts 3:16 -- By faith in the name of Jesus, this man whom you see and know was made strong. It is Jesus' name and the faith that comes through him that has given this complete healing to him, as you can all see. (a man who was crippled from birth was healed and Peter was speaking to those who were eye witnesses to this healing)

love ya,
DD

A day of hope

2009-10-10T09:51:00.001-07:00

On my heart today.....

I am not my own and I have been carried by God all my life.
Everything rides on my hope and faith in you, oh Lord. For you have come that they might have abundant life and have it to the fullest!

We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield
Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you.
But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you!
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

THE PUMP

2009-10-09T08:25:00.001-07:00

While yesterday was uneventful for David....let's just say that I was truly not mentally prepared for the "activities" that soon unfolded with the lactation consultant. In my mind, she was just gathering me information and resources on the possibility of me being able to breast feed. Well, you can imagine my suprise when she asked if I wanted to go review my options with her and 5 minutes later I was "hooked up." WOW..... I would love to give you a break down of our conversation, as it would have most of you rolling in the floor with laughter. I told David that I felt like I had just blindly walked into a Saturday night live skit! I do have to say though, that the lactation consultant was very passionate about her job and EVERYTHING that that entailed!

But the good news is that we are going to try. It's nice that I have a little while to prepare and adjust. I'm going on some natural supplements and will start my "regime with the machine" on Monday. It will all be worth it if I will be able to feed him once he gets home! I do have to admit...it's starting to get very real!

much love

Kelli

Yesterday's Visit

2009-10-09T06:37:00.000-07:00

Well, being that I have to work this Saturday (10th) I get a half day during the week, which turned out to be yesterday. Initially my game plan was to head home and get some studying done as I have 2 Case Studies, a Final, and a Group Project all due next week. However, Kelli thought it would be a good idea for us to run up to the Hospital and see Baby D. So, we hopped in the 'Yota (Toyota) and headed to Ft. Worth to see him.

When we got there it we were able to get right in to see him, and let the attending nurse know that we wanted to hold him. So, she proceeded to get him situated as he has a bunch of wires coming off him which make it a little tedious to pull him out of the bed and lay him on our arm. Since the birth mother got to hold him the first time we saw him, and Kelli and my Mom got to hold him the second time -- it was my turn this time! All in all it was very uneventful as he slept pretty much the whole time I held him. He did open his eyes a few times for about a 1 minute span of time, but that was about all the action we got to see from him. The good thing was I got to hold him for about an hour (maybe longer...I didn't note the time)

Kelli was able to get some help/instructions on how she may be able to breast feed. So, we are looking into that and ALL it entails.

Otherwise, the only updates we have for him is that he's gained 5oz of weight. He was born at 2lbs 2oz and now weighs 2lbs 7oz. He's getting bigger!!! Which we are so thankful for...we just need to keep PRAYING over his brain -- that it continues to grow, develop, and HEAL!!!!

We love you all and will keep you up to date the next time we know something -- which should be the end of this month as he will have another brain sonogram.
DD

C'est La Vie

2009-10-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

To say that our life is not normal would be the understatement of the century! So, I'm not sure that I'm too surprised to be placed in our newest situation. Don't take that the wrong way as I mean it to be that the old cliche' always seems to apply with me and Kelli --> The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways. I have to say that over the past few weeks and months I have taken a few steps back and tried to look "big picture" at some of the Works the Lord has done in my life (and marriage). As has been mentioned in previous posts...Kelli and I have probably been thru more things than the typical married couple has to go through. Let me qualify that by saying we TOTALLY understand that each marriage has its own struggles and trials, and ours is no different. We've battled thru miscarriages, then infertility treatments, that then led to In-Vitro which all left us "empty." Each of those experiences left scars that only Kelli and I know about, and to that extent even scarred each of us in separate ways from the other. Kelli is also a cancer survivor which has put another "scar" on her flesh...which also looks different than the scar that was left on me. HOWEVER -- James 1:2 tells us to "consider it pure joy, brothers, when faced with trials of many kinds." From there it tells us that character and perseverance is built when we face hard times (my paraphrasing).

All that to say that these trials and tribulations have led us to where we are today -- looking to find our way to Cook's Children's Hospital to visit what may be our son. Our son who is fighting thru a brain injury that could lead to any of a number of what the world calls "handicaps." As I type this the wife and I are even to this minute still trying to figure out what we want to do, how we are going to do it, and if we are CRAZY for even considering it.

Kelli said something the other day when we were at lunch with the birth mother that I really appreciated. She said that we as Christians always say that Jesus won't give us more than we can handle...ever heard (or said) that before?? Well, she expounded on that to say that she thinks sometimes Jesus DOES give us more than we can handle. What?? Why would He do that? Well, for no other reason than to lean on HIM who can carry you through -- makes a little sense doesn't it? Now, who are we to know exactly why Jesus does the things He does...but I hadn't ever really thought it that way. However, looking at many of the things we've been through, I can say that in those times it really forced us to allow Christ to "carry" us through. I can say that the last month -- the Lord has carried me through. Everytime I have struggled, cried, freaked, stressed, gotten angry, or prayed...it has been Jesus' touch that I have felt.

Our pastor recently spent the summer on a 3 month sabbatical (spelling?)...and when he returned he gave us an amazing sermon on some of the things he had experienced with his family. He told a story of taking his teenage daughter to a Christian Camp where they do all sorts of activities that build trust, character, and closeness. It sounded like a wonderful bonding experience for him and his daughter. He told us a story of him and his daughter were sent out on a hike, where they travel up the side of a mountain (I think the camp was in Washington State) and then when they get to the top they have a picnic together and enjoy the scenery. He showed some amazing pics at the top of the mountain where they were looking down on a range of Mtns and you could see all the peak, valleys, clouds, and tree lines. They were amazing -- but that' s not even the good part. He said that after he and his daughter had their picnic, they were enjoying the scenery and conversation...he thought this would be the perfect time...

He had his daughter stand up, and while she was standing there he pulled a Purity Ring out of his pocket and talked to her about the significance of the ring, and he got down on one knee and "proposed" to her that she keep her body pure for her future husband, and that if she accepted that honor, he wanted to place the ring on her finger. Our pastor is a pretty sensitive guy, and as he's describing this scene he gets pretty choked up, which has the whole stinking sanctuary sniffling, crying, or tearing up. It was a pretty powerful speech. He ended with relating his love for his daughter to the love Christ has for us. See, Pete (our pastor) mentioned that before he took this time off, his "feelings" were hardened and he couldn't figure out why. In being a pastor he has to deal with a lot of the ugly side of humanity -- disease, death, discomfort, pain, etc. He said he had felt his heart hardening to some of these things and couldn't understand why. So, this journey he took with his daughter was a great way for him to also relate his love for his daughter to the Love the Father has for us. Again, he starts crying on stage as he tells us about some the time at camp he was able to have with his Heavenly Father in getting reconnected to Him.

I write this massive post to say that at the end of the sermon Pete asked us to come to the front and let go anything that is keeping us from God. In short...Kelli and I went down front to kneel at the altar and I have not cried like that in a long time! I mean -- sobbing, choking, sniveling (if that's a word), looking like an idiot but didn't care -- CRYING! I have not felt the Love of Christ flow over me like that since I was in High School. It was about a week later that we were approached about this adoption.

How can I not take into consideration the Love that Christ has for me, and compare it to Love He has for this baby...no matter his condition. Talking about crying -- I tried to be a "rock" for my wife while we were at the hospital due to her breaking down a few times while we were there. However, I couldn't get to my car fast enough to let loose the tears I had for this little guy who didn't choose to have this happen to him...to let loose the fear and anxiety I have over our involvement...to release the anger I have toward the situation as a whole. I sat in my car for 30 minutes and cried again the kind of cry that can't be stopped. Even when I thought I was done, and left the hospital to head to class, I had to pull over 3 times because I couldn't see the road ahead of me.

I had to get that out that day so I could then be able to move forward and deal with these emotions. Crying is a release, and being a guy, it's a release that I don't take advantage of very often. However, I feel that was the Lord's way of allowing me to release some of the fear, anxiety, anger, and trepidation I have. He needed me to do that so I can let it go, and come to His feet with this little baby and hand him over -- to Jesus who knows exactly what He wants to do with the little guy.

Okay, so now that you've spent an hour reading this thing, I want to wrap it up in saying this -- Kelli and I still don't know what the Lord's Will is in all of this, and we are trying to make sure we are open to whatever His desire is for our involvement in this baby's life. However, I can say that thru this trial it has forced me to draw nearer to the One who will provide the necessary feelings, thoughts, resources, care, and love for all who are involved...not just me, Kelli, and the baby. It has been thru these past few weeks that I am at peace in knowing that we are called to be right where we are at that very instant. Where we will be in an hour, a day, a month, and a year I dont' know, but I do know the One who does...and His will is sufficient for me.

I love you all, and know that NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE BASHFUL WITH PRAYER!!!! Please continue to lift this Baby, and me, and Kelli, the Doctor's, and anyone else involved up to the Lord so His will is done in all of this. So that HE will find glory and praise, and not us. We don't want any accolades for doing this...we want HIM to be glorified and praised for the works HE will do in all of this.

Thanks for listening/reading
DD

With Hope

2009-10-03T08:37:00.000-07:00

"Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant what I hope for." Job 6:8

I prayed last night with hope for complete healing. I have been researching over the last two days the informatoin that the doctor gave us. I have learned that the condition which the baby is possibly developing is called Periventricular Leukomalacia, which is damage and softening of the white matter, the inner part of the brain that transmits information between the nerve cells and the spinal cord. All the research and informatoin I have found to date is inconclusive and the affects of PL can range quite substantially. At this point, we are trying to educate ourselves and find out as much as possible what exactly we are facing. With that said, please pray that we don't get so "educated" that we negate the power of prayer and the healing character of our mighty savior.

Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me.
Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.

I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.

Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.

Psalm 31

2009-10-02T11:25:00.000-07:00

Be anxious for nothing,but in everything by prayer and supplication,with thanksgiving,let your requests be made known to God;and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Phillipians 4: 6-7

Call to prayer for healing

2009-10-02T10:54:00.000-07:00

David & I were extremely pleased to learn that the Baby D's doctor was eagerly awaiting our arrival and had scheduled a conference room for us to be able to visit. He updated up the background of the medical condition that had occured pre-delivery. The twins had a condition that he call Twin-Twin Transfusion. This condition is where one baby is basically taking all the nutrients and blood instead of them equally sharing. In Twin Twin Transfusion, the initial baby(host) then takes the all the nutrients and tries to pump it to the sibling. So you have a Host twin and a Recipient Twin. Becuase of this condition the babies blood supply to the brain can vary and is not contstant and when you have a dissruption of blood flow to the brain, it is in essence like having small strokes.
Through a series of Brain sonograms, made possible through the soft spot in infants skulls, they have identified two concerning area in the cortex of the brain. This "white matter" prevent communication from the brain to certain areas of the body, mostly affecting motor skills and the brain's ability to process. It is too early for any of the doctor's to be able to tell us what affect this will have later in life. The developmental milestone's that each child goes through (rolling over, sitting up, pulling up, walking, talking, reading, ect) will be very indicitive as to how his brain is affected. As the doctor expressed, the human body is very unpredictable. You can have the same sympton and each person might be affected differently. We might be looking at a slight learning dissability or we could possibly be looking at one of the three types of Cerebral Palsey. He might be severly brain damaged and require complete medical attention or he might just be hyper active. He is still so very young, he was 25 weeks premature, that how his brain develops and heals going forward has yet to be seen.
This was tough news for everyone to wrap their brains around and quite emotional! We spent some time with the baby and visited with the nurses; THEY ARE ANGLES!!! Michelle was pretty disturbed and was pretty needy with her time with the baby. David & I allowed her to have the quiet moments that she needed and then we were able to pray over his little body.
I have to admitt, I left the hospital feeling overwhelmed. Dr. Lawrence was pretty frank when he described the amount of care and attention this little baby might be needing; Occupational Thereapist, Speech Therapist; Social Workers; In-home Nurses; Nutritionists,....and the list goes on. Of course, this is WORSE CASE and we know that our God is in the business of healing. But for the rest of the afternoon, I have to say, that my conversations with God sounded more like my laundry list of how I am inadequate to mother this baby! I felt like Jonah or Moses trying to convice God that he has the wrong guy! Isn't that just like our flesh...how quickly I forget and revert back to trying to put our God in this little box and say "Oh, this is just too big for you to handle."
This morning I went back to the very first verse that David texted me with the tagline ..."I think we have our answer to this baby." Hebrews 12:12 "Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed."

I will not be anxious. I will pray for healing and present our requests boldly to the throne of God. I will give thanks for my salvation,this little life, this journey, my husband, God's providence. I will rest in the peace that God has given us even though we don't understand what tomorrow may look like, so that our hearts and minds may be gaurded.

Meeting Michele

2009-10-02T07:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday David & I headed into the day with excitement and anticipation as we had been told the evening before that we would be able to meet the birth mother and the baby. As I drove through the rain to Ft. Worth I prayed for my attitude towards Michelle, the birth mom. I had found, that in recent days, I was angry and frustrated at her. How do you take the blessing of life and be so self centered that you ruin it? Did she not know the affect she was having on her unborn babies? And then the big question I had been asking God all week....How did God allow Michelle to get pregnant knowing her lifestyle and has allowed my womb to stay closed? My answer was not exactly what I was expecting. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:7-9 There were several stories that was laid on my hear the night before our meeting;the women at the well & the women with the alabaster jar are just a few. In Micah it is states that God "will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea." I prayed that my words and actions would reflect Jesus and his love for us.
In listening to her story and throughout our conversation over lunch, I was amazed at how my thoughts and attitude changed. Our hearts overflowed with compassion for Michelle and for these babies! Our conversation was very natural and was truly an answer to prayers! Thank you all so very much for praying! When we were all finished eating, Michelle concluded that she felt we were the right parents for her little boy. She asked us about names and said she liked the ones we were considering. She had been calling him Gabriel and is how the doctor's know him. Michelle shared that she is facing some jail time and could possibly be part of God's road to sobriety for her. It was a good visit and all parties were ready to head to the hospital and check on the baby boy!!

Lamentations 3

2009-09-30T09:17:00.000-07:00

21 Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this:

22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
23 Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!”

25 The Lord is good to those who depend on him,
to those who search for him.
26 So it is good to wait quietly
for salvation from the Lord.

This precious verse was sent to me this morning and just really nailed exactly where my heart is. Our hope is in the Lord and HE is faithful.

Our visit today has been postponed but we have re-scheduled to tomorrow, which is much sooner that I was anticipating. We are meeting the case worker, and possibly the birth mom, at 11 am and will then head over to Cook's Childrens. We will meet with the doctors and nurses and then get to spend some time with the baby. We have recently learned that the doctors and staff are not being very cooperative with releasing information as there are so many people involved at this point. From the birth mom, to the agency, and CPS....now us. We are praying to establish good relationships with the doctors and that they will educate and communicate with us freely. The last update we received was last week ; A sonogram showed some slight brain abnormalities but a MRI would not be completed until he is term.

That's all I know for now......I am going to try to get out of the house for a little bit today. Still praying for what my next career move is.

Hospital Meeting

2009-09-29T19:27:00.001-07:00

Today we received a call this afternoon from our case worker with Inheritance Adoptions, Leslie, that the birth mother is extremely sick with pneumonia. She will not be able to meet us tomorrow and, therefore, we will not be able go to the hospital. Leslie that she was about to call the hospital and see if there was a chance that they would let us see the baby at all.

Just got a follow up and it sounds like could get in to see him, but the doctors will not release any information until the birth mom lists me and David on the medical release paper. So, I'm waiting for David to get home to see what we're going to do. Leslie said that they are going to try for Friday to arrange another meeting so David will have to try again to get off work for Friday instead of tomorrow. We will have to see what happens....

Not much on the job front today. I had a few great leads that ended up closed doors. I am beginning to think that the Lord is REALLY moving me out of this industry that I have built my career in...for 13 years. I have no idea where he is moving me to or how I am going to contribute income to our family. I know that this is an extremely emotional journey and there is so much evidence of God's hand! Why do I doubt him?? If GOD can provide manna and doves in the wilderness every day for 40 years while the children of Israel wondered in the desert....what makes me think he will not provide for me? I think my struggle is that I want him to take care of me on a monthly and yearly basis instead of Day by Day! I want it all up front and where I can see the future. Flesh against spirit...

David just walked in....I love it when he finally gets home!!!

K

Therfore strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees

2009-09-28T11:39:00.000-07:00

Life with the Dowdney's may become just a bit more interested very soon!! For those who are close friends and family you may be asking yourselves "How is that possible?" Well, grab a cup of coffee and your favorite pillow becuase we have a bit to share!! Since our last visit, we have had some changes so let me see where I left off at.......................ah yes....kicking off a new semester.

Looking at another full year as Younglife's WyldLife Director was on my mind a bit. YoungLife is probablly one of the things I am most passionate about. However, my job had really become overwhelming. After some conversations and prayer time, it was evident that I needed a change. I started interviewing and preparing thinking I'll find something else first, then leave. That's the responsible thing to do. The morning of my very first WyldLife Kickoff Leadership meeting I was called into a meeting that resulted in an involuntary resignation. At first this was very painful but God has just showed me so many things during this time. My priorities had really fallen short of my calling that God has placed on my life. I had not been a good wife or mother or friend....or daughter of the King!! Every area of my life had suffered becuase of this Job!!! I couldn't put my finger on it at the time, but David & I kept saying that God was moving me for a reason..we just didn't know why!

Well, the reason started to become apparant two weeks ago when we received an emai from some dear friends of ours. The email was regarding an adoption opportunity... for twins. Our hearts were drawn immediately, as during the last miscarriage we had heard two heartbeats. We received the email on MOnday, visited with the Case Worker on Tuesday, and by Thursday we both felt that we should complete the application and proceed. Neither one of us knew what our involvement would end up looking like but we did know that we felt we were again being called into a situation for a purpose.

We learned that the babies were due in December, however, it had been an extremely difficult pregnancy due to the birth mother's continued drug use. The case worker started preparing us for biracial, special needs TWINS! We knew it was crazy...we didn't know where the money would come from....neither of us are prepared to be a special needs parent! But we just had this ...thing, in our hearts that told us to trust and follow.

Last Saturuday while I was in Palestine visiting my parents we received a phone call from the case worker. The twins had been born the night before and one had not made it. The other twin was going to Cook's but it didn't look good at all! Through the week, we received updates regarding the baby and prayed as to what our next step would be. The case worker said if we wanted to wait until he was term and the health was determined, we could definitely do that. The baby had tested positive for drugs and being so premature, his future was just so uncertain. But something just kept tugging our hearts. This was a little baby fighting for life and survival. He needed a family...a mother to pray for him and a father to hold his hand.

Friday morning when David was leaving for work we both felt that we needed to make a decition. We thought about how Christ didn't wait to see if we were going to be good or healthy before he chose the nails for our eternal salvation. He loved us despite all of our special needs. And do we not serve a God that is big enough to heal? A few hours after he left he texted me "I think we have our answer...turn to Hebrews 12:12. I ran downstairs to our bedroom and grabbed my bible..."Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed." The Holy Spirit just used this verse to confirm His calling. We felt that we needed to let the case worker know there were not "If's" or "Maybe's"...our baby had been born on September 19th and was at Cook's Childrens fighting for survival. The case worker allowed us to complete the Home Study on Saturday so that we could schedule our initial visit to the hospital.

We are planning on meeting the case worker and doctors on Wednessday for the first time. We have lots of questions for the doctors and can't wait to see this little baby. Nothing has been finalized, we are still waiting on the paperwork and home study to be completed. We also have to meet the birth mom. CPS is involved due to the nature of the condition of the babies when they were born and will be handeling the birth mom's future involvement.

We are asking for prayers for Baby Dowdney at this time. Please pray for complete healing and protection and he continues to grow. We are praying that he will not have any brain damage while he is going through withdrawls and the his little body continues to develope. We are thankful that he is in a safer environment now so that he can continue to develope.

We are so thankful for all of our friends and family that have loved us over the past 8 years as we have waited. We love you more than I express.

Kelli

Camping, Capming, and more Camping

2009-08-09T11:54:00.000-07:00

The theme for this summer...CAMPING!!! We started out this summer going camping with the fam up in Arkansas at Lake Catherine State Park. It was early summer, June, and we took a long weekend and headed north. Mom & Dad, KC, Joel & Val...and the kids (Savannah & Burke)...me & David...and a select few of the puppies puppies...Coco, Josey, & Peyton. It was really a fun weekend. We hiked up a woodsy mountain with streams running down everywhere. ON the other side the trail led us to a series of waterfalls and cliffs to jump off! It was super fun....me & Savannah & Burke were the only ones that would jump! (I wonder how I always end up with the kids?? :))

July was consumed with WyldLife! The begining of the month the WL leaders huddled at our house weekly and did a GREAT job of recruiting kids for camp! This really set us up good to have strong numbers for camp when our bus pulled out of Carrollton on July 16th. We went to Carolina Creek and had an amazing week! It actually raided 3 days at camp, which kept it nice a cool. I was extremely grateful, as I had fractured my ankle the week before and had a beautiful black cast boot that I got to drag around with me. I took 5 student leaders with me to camp and I just have to say that I was so so proud of them at camp. They did an amazing job and the Lord really worked through them. The jr high kids just adored getting to spend time with the leaders and it was cool to see the leaders love unselfishly. I have posted some great pictures from camp below.

This week we went camping at Richland Chambers Lake for the McCann family reunion. Cameron brought his friend Ryan and we spent the weekend in a cabin that could fit in our living room...camping with 3 boys and 2 dogs was pushing the envelope but it was so much fun!!! BOYS ARE NASTY!! So....I tried to spend as much of the weekend as possible on the lake. I LOVED LOVED taking all the "little people", mom calls all the kids in the family, out on our new tube! I will have to upload the video I have showing Cameron and Ryan screeming like little girls!!!

So, our camping summer is over and we are now gearing up for Fall semester. Usually, this time of year the only thing we are focusing on is planning a semester of YoungLife/WyldLife/Younglive, ect and trying to get our Holiday schdules solidified. HOWEVER....this year is a little different. We are trying to get a Senior in High School ready for his last year! Senior pictures, Two-A-Days, Class rings, Letter Jackets....the list goes on and on. Most parent have had 11+ years of "getting ready for school" but this is our first time. IT IS EXHAUSTING!! We are excited about being "Football Parents" and have our Mustang football season tickets waiting on the frig for us!

Look for pictures to come soon. Love to all...Kelli

2009-07-26T22:12:00.001-07:00

Days at Camp

Back to Reality

2009-07-21T21:43:00.001-07:00

God is so big and good! Camp was absolutely wonderful!! God sent a nice cloud cover and rain to keep us cool, amazing WyldLife leaders that He raised up to step in the gap, true healing and protection for my ankle, ,and amazing kids that He allowed me to love on for 5 days....and for them to love on me! :) Our kids were awesome, the leaders really did just leave me amazed, and the staff was great at aiding a bit of assistance here and there to help me keep up.

I have to admit that at first I was really bummed out about my ankle, knowing how much it was going to pull me out of and limit me to at camp. But I really do think that just might have been God's plan. During the times the kids were on the zip lines, or the ropes, or the blob, I had some amazing quiet time that the Lord really spoke to me. Some things that were really hard to hear that I know he just had to get me still enough in order to listen. And, in my absence, God totally raised up the leaders that went to be these awesome camp leaders that loved on kids, prayed with them, and even led a good number to the foot of the cross! I am really proud of them for the leadership that they had this week.....Chris, Tori, Ben, Christine, and Forrest...you guys completely rock my socks off!

As for this kids....I think I'm going to have to save that for tomorrow's post. I am so whooped and my bed is calling my name. I will post about the kids and share some pics and videos with you throughout the week! Thanks for covering us in prayer while we were gone.

KD

And....They're Off!!

2009-07-16T10:18:00.000-07:00

Yes ma'am!!! We are officially headed to Carolina Creek!! God is so so great!! As of Sunday night we only had 6 campers and today I have a bus full of 22 campers and leaders!! My WyldLife leaders completely rock my socks off! We all gathered at the Downdey Den on Monday night and called every kid and parent on the Carrollton WyldLife roster..yep all 140 of them. We begged and bartered to get all our camps spots full ...and we did! Well, God did....plus 1!

So here we are on the bus....all the health forms gathered, bags loaded, and flu checks completed. Pray for our week.....can't wait to share all the things God will do in our lives this week at Carolina Creek!

The Ankle

2009-07-14T21:36:00.000-07:00

Well....need a little bit of prayer lifted! I had my follow up appointment today for the ankle and it looks like the doctor isn't very pleased. I have some discoloring that he is concerned about, the swelling was still too much for his liking, and I have limited mobility to bend and flex. He ordered an MRI and stated that he wants to make sure we are no looking at major Ligament damage. The discoloration that we thought we were seeing from bruising he thinks now is blood and fluid, which explains the consistent swelling. Fractures usually don't involve that much fluid or blood..so we schedule the MRI tomorrow for next week.

He thinks I'll be fine for camp....I am just praying that this doesn't become the focus or prove to be too limiting while I am at camp. I need to be focused on my kids and supporting my leaders. I am praying for divine interventions, for the opportunity for conversations for kids to share, for the wisdom for me and leaders to listen and be responsive to how He leads us counsel.

Thank you so much for reading and being a part of our lives...we love you all so dearly.

Kelli

Birthday Planning

2009-07-13T21:06:00.000-07:00

So, Cameron's birthday is right around the corener...August 16th and we have decided that we are going to let Cameron decide how we celebrate his birthday. And his focus the last two days is trying to decide what exactly he wants to do. So far he has asked if he could move all the furniture out of the living room and have a foam party...A FOAM PARTY IN MY LIVING ROOM!!! Then he started looking around and asked if we had any spare mattresses? And asked if our back yard was big enough to build a bonfire and if streaking was illegal!! I don't like where this is going at all!

But I tell you what I DID like, what I actually LOVED....I loved sitting in my living room laughing and talking with Cameron tonight. Cameron just got back from a week at Crooked Creek where he went with our Young Life groupd to camp. Cameron had a great time with the kids and leaders and was able to spend some amazing time with the Lord. Tonight, I think really for the first time since he joined us in January, Cameron and I had no walls between us, no barriers, and it really seemed like I was sitting in my living room laughing and sharing as a family!

Of course, we stated that no he could not have a foam party on our hard wood floors and there would be no ma tress surfing down the stairs, no bonfires or streaking. But the joy and excitement in his eyes just at the opportunity to plan his own birthday party.....as he shared with us tonight....his very first birthday party ever!! Please pray that we can keep him real ed in, as that in and of itself is a very difficult tasks with any teenager! But most of all, how thankful I am for this time that we spent tonight together. Just recently, David and I spent a significant amount of time praying and searching to know if we were doing the right thing with Cameron being here under our care. It's so refreshing to see the sweet, tender moments that the Father allows to confirm his will in our lives.

So for the time being, the birthday plans have not solidified into anything firm. We will keep you posted on what wonderful ways we keep coming up with to kick off Cameron's 18th year on this earth and his Senior year at Creekview! Love you all....

KD

The weekend before CAMP...

2009-07-12T18:31:00.000-07:00

The weekend before camp is usually busy with last minute details, collecting camp forms, and running around town buying all the surprises that we give the kids throughout the week!! HOWEVER....this weekend was a little different! Last week I managed to fracture my ankle, and there's not even a fun story behind it. I was simply walking to my car and stepped down from a curb....I think I must have steeped down the wrong way! Now I have a very attractive black boot on my foot and my ankle is the size of my calf!

Can I just say that my parents are my heroes!!! They drove up Friday night and spent Saturday morning helping me get ready for WyldLife's Carolina Creek. Yes, if you have ready any of our past blogs, ,you will know that I went on staff last fall with YounfLife in Carrollton. I took the director position for WyldLife, Younglife for Middle School students. It's been a fun year, and this week I take my group to Carolina Creek for a week of camp. This will be my 4th YL camp, but the first trip that I am leading as the director.

I have an AMAZING group of student leaders that have partnered with me this year and most are going with us this week. I have to admit, I am looking so forward to this camp but for entirely selfish reasons. I need this time with my kids, with the Lord, ,and away from Internet, jobs, phones......I am really looking forward to seeing and feeling the presence of God. I desperately need to hear Him. And if you know anything about Younglife/Wyldlife...He always shows up at camp!!

I still have multiple small items to gather, wash, pack, and prepare. Tomorrow night the leaders are gathering at the Dowdney house to pray over kids, go through the leader training, and hopefully get a few more spots filled before we leave. Lord willing....I would LOVE for that bus to be completely full!!

KD

Back on Track

2009-07-11T17:44:00.000-07:00

Take 4????...or something like that. So, we have decided that we are going to give this blogging thing another shot...not that anyone will still be around to read it. :) But in case anyone is -- we are back (for now)!!

So, what's new? What's been going on?!?! Where do we start? Well, we have taken a 17 year old in -- to be 18 in August. His name is Cameron, and he goes to Creekview HS here in Carrollton. He is a football player and is trying to get a scholarship somewhere to play in college (and we mean anywhere). He makes good grades, but just doesn't have the funds to go to college on his own. His only other option is going to be grants. So, we have gone from no kids to having a teenager in the house. To say the least it has been interesting, and has forced Kelli and I to have some interesting conversations that say alot about what kind of parents we will be.

I have made it thru another semester at school, which puts me about halfway thru. I am ready for it to be over so I can focus on one thing again, instead of two.

Kelli has been very busy at work and it has been a struggle for her to get acclimated to this new company and their work hours...it is requiring a lot of her time. Strangely enough...I think she thrives under pressure, but this pressure has been something she's never had to deal with before, but it does seem that she is getting more acclimated to it as time goes by.

And, as for us having babies, which is why we started this thing in the first place -- it appears that we are going to have to adopt, which we have not really pursued as of today. We've been thru all sorts of treatments and decided to take a while off, let Kelli's body heal and get back to "normal" and then maybe we'll look at buying a baby again. Really, if adoption is the only way we can have kids...what's the rush? It's not like adoption has a "biological clock" so we can take a little more time, and see what comes our way in the next few months and/or years if we so choose.

So, that's what we have been up to...the short end of it. If anyone still reads this...shoot us a comment so we know we aren't wasting our time. :) --D

The cycle of Life

2009-05-17T00:22:00.000-07:00

The Cylcle of Life..isn't it funny that you are going along life and you think you have everything pretty much under control! You think you have all your deamons tammed and the hurt has all been dealt with! You think that you heart has been healed and that you are a much stronger person that you were 6 months ago! Then out of the blue you are knocked down back in the muck and the mire of...well, of Life! I hate that! Maybe that's why we are told that his world is not our home and that Joy of my salvation is my strength! That i am not to lean on my previous experiences and think that "I" am holding it together! I hope that I don't have to keep learning this lesson.

I know I STINK at blogging. I guess I avoid blogging maybe becuase sometimes it is so exhausting having to write about how wonderful and happy and perfect and beautiful everything is! NOw don't get me wrong, I am so grateful for the blessings that God has graciously given. My cancer is still in remission...after 4 years! I have a great family and the Lord has continued to to bless my career. I love my WyldLife kids and leaders and I have amazing friends that are faithful and constant! It just seems that sometimes you have that one thing that....that one longing in your heart that it seems like you have to keep giving back to HIM becuase you can't leave it with HIM. You think you have to figure a way to resolve it! How can I get this for myself rather than waiting on HIS timing. Then you convince yourslef that you really don't want it anymore so your restlessly find other things to cram pack your life full with so you basically don't have time to address the void! You think if you fill that space then the longing will go away!

I need to be content and I need to try to see why I am still at this place where God keeps telling me to Wait..to be still and know that HE is! Man, why can't I learn this lesson. But how are you suppose to now want to have a little perfect, tiny, beautiful baby? How, as a woman, do you not view yourself as incomplete without a family? i just can't find the answer to that question. kd

Thanksgiving 08!!!

2008-12-07T10:02:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving was SO MUCH FUN!! Heather & Eric with the kids came in Wednessday night and got here at our house just a little bit after my parents did! It was so good to sit around and catch up with everyone.

Thursday morning we all got up and headed over to David's parents new house. It is So much fun having them here in town just up the road! We had a lot of food, I was SO VERY ready for some turkey an dressin!!! yum yum

After lunch, the boys headed to do a little shipping at The Bass Pro Shop and the girls sat outside and played with the kids! It was a beautifil day here in Dallas! Then we spednt the afternoon playing Dominoes and watching the Cowboys!!!

My cousin Valerie brought her two kids, Savanah and Burke up on Friday to play and put up Christmas!! Michaela was excited about having so many new best friends...Savanthia most especially!!

In today's culture, economy, and political turmoil...sometimes I find that I am not very grateful! Having the time and focus and get to point that my heart is truely thankful can, at times, be a struggle for me! More often than not, my weeak flesh is focusing on all the things that I don't have or that has not happened or ...well, you get the point! But on those rare occasions that I look around, I am in awe at the providence of my lord! My family and heritage are so rich and strongly founded in faith! Here a few of this things I am most thankful for; My dad's wisdom, my mothers encouragement and unconditional love... a grandmother that tought me that richness of life is not found in one's checkbook and another grandmother that enriched my life with music, travel, and tought me the meaning of perseverance, grace, mercy, and what forgiveness looks like deeply impacted my character....an aunt that has painted a beautiful picture of "the joy of my salvation is my strenth" and not the circumstances that this life allow while allowing the lord a victorious healing over cancer...and a husband that keeps me steady and grounded...on most days!! :) Most of all...for God's grace and mercy that reigns over my life! For my salvation that is non-negotiable and non-returnable...no matter how many times I get it wrong!!

I hope you all had a blessed Thanksgiving season and found time and reasons to give thanks. KD

Bandera....

2008-12-07T09:22:00.000-08:00

In October, we all got together and escapted the business of life. Mom, Dad, KC, us, and all the canines.....Sarge, Sasha, Peyton, Coco, Lucy, & Josie.....all packed up and headed to the Hill Country for a relaxing weekend!!

Friday we went to the Hunter's BBQ & Auctin in Bandera. HOW FUN!! The auction was a HOOT! I'm not sure David knew "those kind" of people actually existed! David won a White Tail Hunt and was excited! Saturday we shoped around Bandera, Utopia, & Boerne! Satruday night we watch Tech beat the hell outa Texas!!! Whoop! Sunday we finished the weekend shopping in Fredrickburg!

Sunset are beautiful in the Hill Country! Saw TONS of people out riding their horses through the countryside! Life is just a LOT slower down there! Makes me wonder if those of us who has such busy lives, if we don't miss out on precious moments! There is something to be said for slowing down and enjoying all the beauty around you. All the blessings that our HUGE God has allowed for our lives to be enriched by. Am I so buys that I am missing and neglecting or failing to be grateful?

Here are some fun pics from our weekend.......

BubbleShare: ">Photo Sharing

WORST BLOGGERS OF THE YEAR!!

2008-12-07T09:18:00.001-08:00

"WOW!! I would first like to thank my friends and family for for continuing to love me over the last few months! It's really hard work to earn this award as the "WORST BLOGGERS OF THE YEAR" and I just want to thank the fans for continuing to check our blog knowing that there weren't going to be any updates!! This is for all of you!!"....or something like that!! :)

YES...we stink!! We are sorry!! So the next few blogs I'm going to post pics and updates on what the heck we've been up to for last few months!!! Love you guys!!!

YES WE ARE ALIVE.....

2008-10-14T20:51:00.000-07:00

we just aren't very good at blogging these days!! Don't ask me why..maybe it's easier to NOT blog at all than to try to figure out how and what to put into words. So..I'll be brief!!

David is back in school on Wednessdays & Thursdays. This is the first semester that I heard him repeatedly ask "Why am I doing this again?" ....so, I'm praying he'll hang in there and stick it out. I am hoping it's just a tough semester of classes.

I started this Fall as the Director of Carrollton WyldLife...WOW!! Who knew Jr. High students had THAT much energy??? It has been an absolutle blast! I am up to 16 leaders, which is HUGE from what they had last year! AND I LOVE MY LEADERS...they really are amazing and keep me thankful that they are serving beside me!! We are working on getting our numbers up, would love to see averging around 75 -80. We have about 45-60 right now. There are also a few Jr Highs that we don't have a real presence in yet, so I'm working on making connections in these schools this semester!!

We have taken a break from the "baby stuff"..... The family with the pregnant teen decided to handle the situation within their family. They were really nice about it, they just decided that they preferred that David & I not get involved. Funny how God shuts doors as quickly as they were opened. We would LOVE LOVE to adopt, but feel that we would rather stay open to an adoption opportunity from within our community rather than through an adoption agency. Then again, I'm about convinced that I would just rather travel and buy a horse farm and ride 4 wheelers for the rest of my life instead of have a family!!

I have lots of pictures from this summer's camps..you know I went to 3 younglife camps during the course of the summer. Lots of stories.... I need to get them up. I won't wait so long to right next time. PROMISE...love you all, Kel

One of my favorite songs...

2008-09-02T19:35:00.000-07:00

Has always been Seek Up by the Dave Matthews Band. Now, before that line in and of itself causes you to not read any further give me a chance to explain. Bear with me as it's been since June 3rd that we've last posted....so I feel I need to make up for lost ground.

Seek Up is a pretty long song, but I really only want to cover the chorus:

You seek up an emotion
and your cup is overflowing.
You seek up an emotion,
sometimes your well is dry
You seek up a big monster
for him to fight your wars for you
But when he finds his way to you,
the devil's not going, "Ha ha, ha ha."

Why do I bring up this song? What is David getting at here? Why is he talking about some lame Dave Matthews Song that no one cares about?

Well, however stupid it may sound, that song has been a friend to me in good times and hard times. So, let me extrapolate (one of them college words).

You seek up an emotion and your cup is overflowing...you seek up an emotion, sometimes your well is dry. I can't even begin to explain how many times over the past week, month, year, or 10 years, I have searched for an emotion and my cup is either overflowing or it's dry. Kelli and I have struggled thru miscarriages, a failed adoption, cancer, job loss and gain, and financial ups and downs, to name a few. Please don't think I don't know that other people have a hard time with things, and if I take a step back and look around me I must say that through it all are many blessings that God has given us that I must be sure not to take for granted. Yet, we have been through many things that most couples have not had to face.

This blog was started as a way for us to tell our story as we traveled down the road of In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF). We have smattered in a few posts of personal pleasure, but the main focus of this has been our stuggle to have our own baby.

Well, thru our journey it has made us want to "seek up a big monster for him to fight your wars for you" (or for us). It has caused us physical and emotional pain that we would not wish on an enemy. Kelli had to take shots in her abdomen for several weeks, along with having her hormones take her on the roller coaster ride of her life. In the end, her body just didn't react to the medicine as we hoped, and the Dr. has told us to look at other options. All of this while we've had about 9 couples tell us they are pregnant.

Now, don't get me wrong here, we are VERY EXCITED to share in the joy of new life for each of these friends and family members who are going to welcome their own baby into this world. However, it can also be bitter sweet. We have wanted to have our own family for the past 6 years of our 7.5 year marriage.

In all of this we have to be weary of the evil one who likes to do all he can to destroy a marriage ordained by God - "But when he finds his way to you, the devil's not going, "Ha ha, ha ha." He is not laughing when he tries to destroy a relationship, friendship, or marriage. He is very intent in his ways, and must be taken seriously.

Sorry for the lack of transition here, but the reason I am giving you some of this information is to lead you to this - we have been approached by a friend of Kelli's family who knows of a young woman that is pregnant and is not prepared for the road ahead that is pregnancy (she's 15). Please join us in PRAYING for guidance to make the right decision here as we've been asked if we could help in this as we feel led. Kelli has been helping teen moms for the past year, and the folks involved in this believe that Kelli and I are meant to be involved in this...in what capacity? We don't know yet, but it isn't for us to know, it's for us to choose to get involved no matter what people think. (reference to the song). :D

We are going to seek up a Monster for Him to fight our wars for us, by kneeling at the throne of God and praying that HIS will be done in all of this, and that this young lady would be forever altered for the better when this baby comes into the world. The devil will be there too, waiting to destroy another family, but our prayer is that those who desire, will pray without ceasing that the Light of the World (Jesus) will shine thru and prevail over the evil one.

So, please pray for this young lady whose name is not necessary...and for the life that is growing inside her. Pray for her family, that they would give her the guidance necessary to help her along this journey. Pray for the friends who will step in to support this girl and her family as they struggle with the choices to be made along the way.

Again, sorry for the long post, and the strange song references, but if you haven't heard the song...look it up on Itunes, and maybe it can make an impact on you as it has on me. Then, while listening to it, please join us in prayer for this situation, that we would all be surrounded by the Holy Spirit and our actions and words be guided by Jesus.

Much love and thanks for reading this far, and forgive my strange tie in to a DMB song....DD

2008-06-03T14:54:00.000-07:00

Hi! It's me...again! Well, it's taken me a few days to be able to sit down and write this. I don't know if it was I didn't know how to say it or I was just avoiding putting it in writing...makes it more real that way, I guess! We had a doctor's appointment Friday in order to start our stimulant meds Friday night, and really going into it felt confident that we would be starting! From the previous doctor's appointment just 8 short days before, there were no ovarian cysts and I "looked like I was finally going to get my perfect start" for our INVITRO! David & I were really excited, as we headed into this appointment expecting to schedule our egg retrieval for June 9th.

Well, the appointment did not go as anticipated. In 8 days my body had developed 5 ovarian cysts. I was pulled off all medication and they cycle was again cancelled. Later that afternoon I received a phone call from the doctor in which he explained that in all his years he has never seen someone develop cysts in that short amount of time. He does not understand why I am not reacting to the meds or why I have these reoccurring cysts. He said that we could try one more time for a start, but in the meantime David & I should consider other options.

My heart was very broken and I am extremely disappointed. As I sit here typing and trying to see the screen through the tears that are streaming down my face, I can say that I know the Father has a purpose in this timing! I don't know if He is asking me to deny my fleshly desires in order to devote my life to following Him, or if He is forcing me out of my selfishness, or if I am being punished as a result of my hardheadedness. Well, yes I do know in my head that it is not the later of the three! I try not to focus on the timing He has chosen to build other families, yet not ours. I refuse to listen to the lies that the enemy is whispering in my ears on a minute by minute basis!! And I am desperately seeking His peace that goes beyond our mortal understanding. Because I don't understand, as we now have 3 close friends that have announced their expecting bundles of joy since last Wednesday! And I am really trying not to ask how He choose who to bless with children and who not to! My thoughts are so scattered...as in 10 seconds I can go from blessing His name and completely surrendering my life to Him.....to crying out in pain "Why do you refuse to see my longing for a child? Why has my prayers gone unheard?"......to being so angry that I dare not type the words. Then, occasionally,...there is a breath of peace. For a moment I can feel His arms around me and hear His spirit whisper to me "Do you know how much I love you? If you could only see the blessings that I have in store for you just around the corner! Do you not see the place in which I have planted you and your husband? If you did, you would know that i am not denying you of a child. You would hear me asking "How many children do you want? I will give you one but a multiple children to love and nurture and tell my story to!" I am working on transferring what I know in my head to be truth to live in reality in my heart! That's the hard part, connecting the two!

I know I need to step out of this depression quickly as we have so much on the horizon! We have a A&M student living with us this summer that I really need to love on and encourage! WyldLife camp coming up this month for the 8th graders and in July at Carolina Creek! This Sunday is the start of our Summer Campaigners for Young Lives and then camp in August! I am so excited about each one of these events and want to be emotionally and spiritually vested in each! Please pray that my focus will be clear and my spirit sensitive to the calling!

Thank you for listening to me! I don't know if we will attempt another start!! At this point the only thing that really keeps us wanting to at lest try is the $3700 of meds sitting in my refrigerator that we can't take back! Please pray for us right now. That the pieces will be picked up and put back together.....that David will have patience with me as my grieving process is very different from his! And most importantly that I will find the hope and peace that I so desperately need!

I love you all dearly,

Kelli D

Carrollton Young Life Clay Shoot

2008-05-30T06:19:00.000-07:00

A few weekends back Carrollton Young life hosted a Clay Shoot to fundraise money for Summer Camp 2008! We had SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much fun!! We had great numbers...as for the tangible outcome of the day, we had 65 shooters, over 15 sponsors for the day, made about $1000 on the raffle prizes and grossed a total of $6500 for the day!
We still have some money coming in from various donations,, so we
so we are praying that we will be able to send ALL of our Young Lives Moms & babies to camp!!Here are some of our favorite pictures from the event!

Our Area Dir & wife Dave, Paige, & Daddy Paige Shootin' @ the trap
Kyel & Shalen J.

Da boys... ...and the beverage beauties (Committee)...and more Committee
Dave C, David D, & Matt P Shonna, Betsy, & Karen Brian & Jonathan

the food............................the chef....................................Mike & Pat (committee)

YL Leaders w/ our beloved committee

Love you guys!!

Woo Hoo!!!! No cysts....kind of

2008-05-22T10:39:00.000-07:00

Well, we had another Dr Appt today, and Kelli did have a cyst, but it's a Tubal Cyst that every woman produces each month, so our nurse thought this would not keep us from moving forward this time!!! Praise Jesus!! Now, we just have to make sure this cyst goes away, as is normal for most women, problem is...Kelli is NOT most women. So, please continue pray for Kelli that this cyst would run it's course and go away by our next Dr Appt - Memorial Day.

Otherwise, we are off to the ranch this evening after work for fun and family!!! We are excited to get back to the ranch as we had such a wonderful time a month ago when we ventured out there. I'll let you know how things went on Monday, when it rolls around.
DD

Round 1 Do Over...

2008-05-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

Well, to tag onto and continue Kel's last post it looks like we are getting a "do over" on the 1st round of IVF. Kel started her oral meds last week, but this time it's one that tries to prevent the development of cysts. This being because cysts are what kept us from moving forward the first time around, so we are trying to circumvent cysts from happening again. She will begin taking her Lupron Shots again this week, to start shutting down her hormones so the Dr's can get in there and take control of her "cycle." We begin this on Thursday (if I remember right) this week, and will stay on that until we get the go ahead from the Dr's to move forward. Our next Dr Appt is Memorial Day, so that will cut our trip to the Ranch a little short, but we will still get to see all the family on her Dad's side this weekend, and we are looking forward to it. As we get further into this cycle, we will continue to update our blog so those who want to know, can be in the know.

We are also trying to get the boat up and running, as this could be our last summer with it, so we want to take advantage of that as much as we can. We should have it water ready within the next 2 weeks, which will allow for plenty of "boating time" this summer if anyone wants to tag along.

On a side note - we had the chance to speak with a wonderful young lady named Lindsay about the potential for living with us for the next couple of months. She is going to be a Senior at Texas A and M Univ, and needs a place to stay for the summer. We had lunch with her this past Sunday after church, and really think she will be a wonderful addition to the Dowdney home this summer. Please pray that she would be able to find a job, and that we would be able to provide her with a great place to stay for a couple months.

Otherwise, that is all for now, we will travel to the ranch this weekend for the Overton Family Reunion...and our next scheduled trip is to the McCann family reunion on the weekend after the 4th of July. So, we have a couple trips coming up, but also have some downtime weekends...which means we will probably be out on the lake. Give us a shout if you want to tag along, as the more the merrier!! DD

Ding Ding!!! Round 2

2008-05-05T14:29:00.000-07:00

Today we are starting our IVF cycle again, so It's Day 1...back at the very beginning!! Isn't that a song from Heather's favorite movie, The Sound of Music!! They are going to do things a little differently this time, in hopes to avoid those nasty cycsts that halted everything. I will be starting BC meds on the 7th, a different dosage and brand that is actually used to prevent cycts on hypersensitive women....(yeah, I loved it when they used that terminology on me today!!!! HYPERSENSITIVE...I AM NOT HYPERSENSITIVE!!!) Dr. Chantillis is really confident that will enable us to progress farther this time!! We have an appt on the 13th to check bloodwork and for cycts. Then, back on the Lupron shots on the 21st and HOPEFULLY, we will be able to start the stimulant shots this time on the 31st!!!! It's early but looking at 9th for egg retrieval and anywhere from 12th - 15th for Embryo transferee!! Pregn test 10 days later!! We will get a formal calendar after my exam on the 13th! We will post after we know more!

GOSH--- can we fast forward to June 25th??? Hey, wait a minute. Didn't I just lead a discussion on patience? Yeah, maybe I should just keep studying that topic!! Please pray for the doctors, the meds, me & David, and LORD WILLING Baby Dowdney!!! I know that I am not going to be able to do this without the Lord, and I have felt HIM very near as a result of all of friends and family praying for us!! So keep it up and stay tuned... 'cause we are off again!!!

Kel

Well, HOWDY!!

2008-05-02T11:19:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's been a while since we posted!!! Busy, Busy Bees we be!!! Now, let's see...not much has changed on the baby scene! Well, actuall NOTHING has changed!! We are suppose to be waiting for a cycle to start, anticipated to happen aroun April 9th, and been as still as a tick on a cow's but!! I called the doctor to inquire if we should be concerened and they said probablly I still have alot of the meds in my system used to supress my hormones. So, that makes sense and we are back to waitin two more weeks! Waiting...waiting....another funny is this week I lead a bible study on PATIENCE! Now that you have stopped laughing and are wiping the tears from your eyes....I said LEAD...not taught! Actually, it was awesome becuase I really needed to learn how to graciously wait upon the Lord...I learned so much and it was good to partner with my friend Steph, who co-lead with me!! Thank you Steph---

So, while we are waiting upon Mother Nature to return her presence, last weekend we participated in the OKC Marathon with our YL group to raise money!! We had 2 run the full, a great relay team that covered the full, and several runners in the 1/2 marathon. As for me and my household, along with a mighty group of others, we did the 5K SAUNTER - as we like to call it!! YE-YAH!! The morning of the marathon we woke up to freezing cold rain and strng winds....can't tell you how many times we muddeled under our breath "I'm only doing this becuase I love the kids!" It was stinkin cold!!! But all had an amazing time - Tony B did an AMAZING job coordinating the whole trip and Brian & Shauna Huffman (amazing YL committe peeps) really hooked us up with awesome rooms at The Renassaince downtown, just blocks from the start/finish line!!

Ok, I don't really know if I can announce this yet, but I'm going to put it out there. Over the past several months I have been pursueing the possibility of going on Staff with Young Life. After interviews and lots of prayer, The Father is just really leading and moving to make this happen! I AM SO EXCITED!!! For most of you that know me...you know I'm pretty spastic and spuradic...so it will come no suprise that I am going into Jr. High ministry!!! WyldLife is the Jr. High division of Young Life and I will be the WL Director for Carrollton! HOW COOL IS THAT? Isn't God just so cool? I am really excited!!! I will start out part time, while I'm still at CTM, and eventually transition into Full Time.

David is GREAT...my little Pappa Bear! He's been a little grumpy lateley, with finals next week! Haven't really seen much of each other as he heads to study after work! He is really looking forward to the summer break and take a break from class! Hopefully, we will be able to hit the road and get out to visit some friends and family over the next few months! We love you guys and miss you all very much!!

KD & Double Decker

On a more positive note...

2008-04-15T07:29:00.000-07:00

Man, I was reading thru some of our more recent blogs, and what "downers" we are!! I am sorry that all we seem to post are these really melancholy and dreary notes about our sad lives.

On the flip side of that, what an amazing last few weekends we've had with friends and family!!! It is so great to be able to fellowship with folks we haven't seen in a long time, and be able to enjoy their company for a few days at a time.
Two weekends ago we went out to the Austin area to spend some time with one of Kelli's family friends...Brian and Suzanne Black. Suzanne's parents (George and Peggy Wacha) work out of the same shop that Kel's parents do, so they've been friends for some time now, which has allowed Kel and I a chance to get to know them, and their daughter's family. Suzanne and Brian have the most precious little boy...Hart. While in Austin the girls went to Hart's soccer game, while the boys went and played golf. While at the driving range, warming up for our round, Brian got a call from Suzanne, so we continued warming up while he took the call. When he came back he stated, "I am the worst father in the world." Wouldn't you know that the one game Brian doesn't make it to, Hart scores his first goal!!! The girls were so proud, and so was Brian, although a little "Hart"broken that he didn't get to witness the event. Needless to say, the boys trudged on and played a wonderful game of golf, at one of the most beautiful courses I've ever played. (Now, I've only probably played about 15 or 20 courses in my life, so that may not be saying much - but it was gorgeous none the less). The girls finished up the soccer game and went shopping - surprise, surprise!! Afterwards, everyone met back at the Black's home to enjoy some steak that would make you want to slap your Pappy. We watched some of the Final Four Basketball games, and enjoyed our day to the fullest with friends and family.

Then this past weekend we traveled out to the Mountain Home area of Texas to the Morriss Ranch, which has been in my father-in-law's family for many many years. They have 9500ish acres out there, and we spent most of our time trying to cover those 9500 acres on FOUR WHEELERS!!! What a blast! We went out there with Kelli's family, and met another family related to Andrew - Jim and Lucy Dingel, and their son Grant. The Dingel's were the ones who provided the Overton/Dowdney's with the 4-wheelers and we had a blast roaming the ranch on those things - sunburns and all! As my sister-in-law, Kaysi, would tell you - we ran across several "critters" while on the ranch, to include: a skunk, armadillo, axis and white tail deer, rattle snake, and cattle. When not out roaming the ranch, we were playing the Nintendo Wii, which Kel and I received from Ebay the Thursday we left town to go to the ranch. We enjoyed that on our down time, as did Grant, who is very skilled in the art of Wii. In all honesty, we really enjoyed our time with the Dingel's and hope to get together with them again soon, as they live just down the road from us in Addison, not even 10 minutes away. We've made a deal to get them out on our boat as a repayment for the fun times we had using their four wheelers.

I must say that ever since I married Kelli, family has become one the most important things to me. Not that it wasn't important before, but I don't come from a really big family, and the family I do have, we just don't see each other as often as we should. Kelli has a very large family on both sides, and they do an amazing job of making sure they get together as many times throughout the year as possible. This has allowed me to cherish the times I am able to spend time with my family. I think it has also allowed me to cherish the times we are able to be with friends as well. Kelli and I have some of the most wonderful friends anyone could ask for, and I wish to thank each of them for standing by us thru thick and thin. That shows the character of a true friend. We love you all, and we hope to continue to see as many of you as we can. Sorry for the long post, but thought we needed to put a feel good post on the board for a change. --DD

..and the doctor said....

2008-04-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

To follow up with what David posted, Dr. Chantillis did call me this afternoon. From the Sono this morning, all of David's information is correct. However, after receiving my bloodwork, Dr. C is pulling me off all meds and we are completely starting over. I feel like a bad reel in the middle of a B- Film and the Director just ran on set and screamed "CUT, CUT, CUT!" or like one of the Van Trapp kids from the Sound of Music...."Let's start from the very begining!! A very good place to start..."....either way, same message!!

But, this week is SUCH A BETER WEEK for me emotionally and spiritually!! I just feel very settled and held! Do you remember the feeling of being held as a little kid when you had just fallen down and skinned your knee or your very first pet just went to live in "pet heaven?" Do you remember how when you mom or dad held you while you cried and after a while, every minute seemed to be a little less traumatic than the one before? Yes, I have felt held this week in a very tender way. And I know it's becuase I have some very dear friends and family that is covering us in prayer. I am just blessed beyond anything i deserve. God is good, He is risen, He is risen indeed!!

As Usual...

2008-04-03T09:27:00.000-07:00

Well, we had another Dr's appt today, and received the same information as usual...no go for now, we have to wait for Kel's Cyst to go away. So, we go back again next Thursday, but by then, Kel should have completed her "cycle" which should also flush out the cyst. Please lift us up in prayer as you see fit, that the Lord would help Kelli pass this cyst out of her system, so we can begin anew with moving this forward. Again, this needs to be as perfect of a setting as we can get, so we need to get this cyst out before we move on to the next step. We pretty much knew this going into the appt this morning, but it is still disappointing to hear. We appreciate all the support you guys give us, as it's amazing to hear how many people continue to read our posts...however dull and boring they may be. :)

We love you all, and hope to see you as soon as we can!! Summer is fast approaching, and we look forward to traveling to see as many friends and family as we can!!

Sincerely...DD

Struggling..

2008-03-27T08:57:00.001-07:00

This week has been extremely tough! Physically I haven't felt very good, not able to sleep and really rest at night, and emotionally....well, it's been the toughest week emotionally I have had since we started! I have so many emotions right now! I have two very significant people in my life, that I love more than words, tell us they are are pregnant within 2 days of each other. And while my spirit really rejoices in their joy, my flesh moarns for what they have and I do not! I want to be able to rejoice with them, but I can't and I feel like I am a horrible person becuase I am in this horrible place!! I know I should die to self, but right now it's really tough to see beyond my own selfish desires!

Thankfully, there was a meeting scheduled at a local coffe house for the Women of Hope group that I have been attending. There were just 3 of us, and it was a great time of encouragement and just loving on each other. I am so thankful for Stephanie and Anna, as they really uplifted my spirits!! Last night I had our ladies Young Life bible study where we are focusing on the Fruits of the Spirit. Last night was PEACE. Although it was really tough to be present becuase I am struggling with accepting God's peace(not that it is not there), in the still of the night the verses and words that had been spoken earlier in the evening, comforted and soothed my soul!

Please pray for me!! David is doing well, and ever trying to figure out what I may need from him at the moment!! I guess you should probablly pray for him, too!! :) My head knows all the verses and truth! God is in control and this WILL be for HIS glorification!! I MUST let go and trust!! But right now I am hurting, and it's not okay, and I don't understand, and I don't like it, and I wish that I could see the end! Hopefully soon, He will restore the fundamental joy of my salvation! Thanks for listening!!

Kel

IVF Update

2008-03-24T20:38:00.000-07:00

I guess it's finally time to sit down and give an update. If your short on time, let me break it down for you really quick....Nothing has changed so we are still in the same holding pattern!

Now for you out there who would like a little more detail, read on my friends! As you know, we are waiting to start my stimulation meds. In the IVF cycle, the prep month is spent suppressing the natural hormones that are produced. This is done in order to reach a constant level from which to start the stimulation at. Once all hormones are suppressed, then you start the stimulation meds, Gonal F in my case, that will "stimulate" my body to produce follicles and grow them into mature eggs that can be fertilized. We haven't got to that point just yet becuase EVIDENTLLY..my body doesn't seem to want to cooperate!! My hormones are not easily suppressed...guess they get that from me....and I have had cycts on my ovaries the last 3 weeks. The past 3 Thursdays have been the same.."Can't start you on the stimulation meds with cycst. That would only stimulate the cycts growth instead of any follicles. Stay on the meds and come back in a week." They say my body is confused...well, I guess it's a good thing at least my body is following suit with my emotions and my head!! Becuase honsetly, I don't know a part of me that doesn't feel confused right now.

So, I came home to sulk heading into the Easter holiday!! But I just have to say that I have an amazing husband that has a way of putting everything into perspective and painting this picture with a subtle hint of light that was previously dark and morbid!!! I am so glad that The Father has allowed me to journey through life with him as my soul mate. In all reality, we want a good start!! And right now, my body is not at a place that would yeild a good start. Plus, if we have to be in a holding pattern with meds, man are we blessed to be in a holding pattern on a $20 med that lasts a month vs $750 medicine that lasts 5 days!! The stimulation medicine is extremly expensive and we haven't started that yet!! And really, my dissappointment stemmed solely from a timeline that I had tried to fit God's plan into. I wanted a baby by Christmas! Once again, God reminding me that this really isn't in my control. He is calling me deeper and deeper into a relationship that requires me to relinquish every selfish control into His hands. I HAVE to trust HIS plan, to follow HIS voice! I think this is fitting becuase you can't see or touch a voice! You hear, and walk blindly in the direction that voice is calling from. I know from Jeremiah 29 that His plans for my future are greater than anything I can see and far exceed my own selfish desires. I praise Him for all the hidden wonders that I can not yet see with human eyes. So, as my husband reminded me, we are thankful that we can wait for a strong start, that we haven't begun our expensive meds, and that in the end...a healthy baby is all that matters........no matter what day it arrives on!!!

This weekend we also learned that one of my dearest friends, many of you know Vicky, and her husband Robert are expecting for the first time!! I am thrilled, as we will have another little one to love on, and play with, and even though David has already started to warn me that I am going to have a limit on the amount of baby stuff I can buy for them....BLESS them with cute little outfits!!! A huge paise for the life that God created through Vicky & Robert!!

Kel

Just a Sinner Saved by Grace...

2008-03-14T07:48:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling the Lord leading me to this post...if that would even be something He would do. This is going to be a long one, so stay with me until the end, and it just may change your life.

I feel as though I need to address a few things, that need to be read more by some of my friends who may not know the Lord, or who may know Him, but have not held His hand in a while...

Many of you know that I was in a fraternity in college, Sigma Alpha Epsilon (SAE). While there I developed some of the best friendships a person could ever ask for. I have a bond with these guys that cannot be explained, and many people don't understand the brevity of the relationships I hold with these guys. When you live with 75 or so guys, eat dinner with them, share stories with them, and watch them grow into men, it is a life altering experience. I still enjoy having fellowship with them every few months, and we can have upwards of 50 guys show up and hang out. Again, the average Joe can't comprehend maintaining friendships like that, which in and of itself can be a chore.

I say all of this so those who weren't in my fraternity can maybe understand a little of the bond I have with these guys.

What I am leading into is this...Being that it was a social fraternity I did not always uphold my covenant to God and His Son Jesus. I don't know if I want to get into all the details here, but let's just say I enjoy a beer every once in a while, and maybe even one or two more than what I should. I also have to be honest and say that my tongue needs a taming that even James may not be able to perform. (this is in reference to the book of James in the Bible, and is a very tough read, but highly recommended from the author of this post). I am seeing where my friends who know me better than most people, could read some of the posts Kel and I have put on this Blog, and shout at the top of their lungs that I am the biggest hypocrite they've ever laid eyes upon. I would have to agree with all my heart, that they have a point, but that's not the end of the story.

With all my heart, I need to mention that it is BECAUSE of Jesus I am able to hold onto the hope that His will is all I need in my life. Jesus was sent to this Earth, by God, to save each of us from our sins. Not to turn us into "perfect" people, but to take our sins on to himself and wipe us clean when we stand in Judgment before God. The one and only thing a person must do to obtain this forgiveness is to believe in your heart that Jesus is the Son of God, that He died on the cross for your sins, and rose again on the 3rd day. I worship a God who is still alive and well, doing miraculous works in the lives of all who believe in Him. Buddha, Mohammed, the Hindu gods, all the other gods that are worshipped by other religions are dead. They are either lying somewhere in a grave, or they are made of metal or stone.

There will be many who have probably already shut me out by now, but for those who are still with me I want you to think about something for me...one of the most interesting things I've had brought up about the story of Jesus is this: Prior to Jesus going on to the cross, His disciples were afraid to stand up for Him as it would also mean they would suffer the same persecution He did. So, many of them denied knowing Christ or following Him when people pointed them out to the authorities. However, after Jesus was crucified on the cross, he appeared to the disciples to show them that He was alive and well, and at that time He allowed the Holy Spirit to come upon them. From that point on, each of the disciples drastically changed their stance on Christ, to the point where several of them were killed due to the fervor they maintained for HIM...let me say that again, they were KILLED for that stance. So, I would ask, why the change of heart? If Jesus wasn't the Messiah, or the Son of God, why would they decide to stand up for Him and preach the Gospel, only to suffer and die for the cause? Let me ask it more personally, what in your life would you die for? Would you die for a lie or a hoax? Or would you lay down your life for the one and only person who has the power to change your life...to save your soul for eternity?

Let me finish with this...Again, I am only a sinner saved by grace, the grace of Jesus. That does not make me a perfect person, who will never sin. It makes me a sinner, who will continue to sin for the rest of my life, everyday...but one who is saved by the blood of Jesus. I will stumble everyday, probably even every hour, but that sin is covered by the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross, which I believe in my heart was done for me as it was for everyone. I do my best not to be a stumbling block, or to hurt my witness for Jesus, but I am human and will make many mistakes the rest of my life. What I hope is that thru my actions you can see the love of Christ thru me, as I am only a vessel which God uses for his glory.

If you've read this far, thank you for letting me share with you my stance, I hope it wasn't too much rambling. :) Double D

The Waiting Game...

2008-03-14T07:17:00.000-07:00

Well, we had our Dr's appointment yesterday and they found another cyst. So, we will wait another week, and have another appt next Thurs - same time and place. According to the Dr's (and Nurses) it appears that Kelli's body is not sure what to make of all these different hormones, coming at her from different sources. So, her "cycle" has been thrown off between the Lupron Shots and the Birth Control Pills, and her body is still trying to acclimate itself to those things. The light shining thru all of this, that we are able to praise Jesus for, is that at this stage in the game, it is better for us to know now that it isn't going perfectly instead of finding out halfway thru an egg retrieval or something. That has been our biggest prayer in all of this, that if it isn't going to be a "perfect" scenario, that we would find out as soon as possible so there is still time to fix it. Again, everything we do we want to be wrapped in the will of God, and not wrapped up in our own selfish desires to have children.

In essence, we really are so early in this IVF process that in catching these things now, it makes it easier to fix them and proceed with high hopes of still attaining a pregnancy. Also, the only thing our insurance covers in all of this are the Lupron Shots and Birth Control Pills, so Praise Jesus that even though this is another bump in the road, at least we aren't having to go deeper into the bank account to pay for more meds or shots or whatever. That is one consolation in all of this.

Please continue to pray for us as you see fit because this is a long and tedious process and we need all the strength we can muster. All we ask is that God's will would be done in all of this, even if in the end that means that we don't achieve a pregnancy. If that is His will, then we can handle that and be able to see His Light in all of this. - DD

Weekend with the Family!

2008-03-10T11:40:00.000-07:00

This past weekend David's parents came down on Friday and stayed with us through Sunday. It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO good to just get to hang out with family and catch up. I always hear the "dreaded in-law" stories, and I have to admit, I just can't identify! I am extremely blessed to have married into a family that I love being around!! Friday night we grilled steaks and pork and had a really good dinner at home. Then we scouted around town and priced refrigerators - - GOOD GRACIOUS I DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE THAT HIGH!!! But that's a different Blog! :)

Saturday morning my parents drove up to spend the day and visit! David and "The Dads" were off to play golf at Coyote Ridge and me and "The Moms" well....we were off to do what we love best...SHOP!!! I fixed breakfast burritos for everyone, plus my friend Millie and precious little son Dane, to get fueled before we all headed off in different directions... And let me tell you did we all have a ball!!! Mom O. found some sassy little red pumps and I found these Easter hats, that looked more like Kentucky Derby hats, that had these huge feathers on top! I picked one out for me and one for each Mom. Me and Mom O got so tickled that we really were causing quite the ruckus. In fact, another Mother and daughter couple stopped to asked if they could spend the rest of the day shopping with us because we looked like we knew how to have fun!! Well, I think Mom D was trying to avoid us because were being so LOUD but we found her and she got her very own feather hat! Here we are ...in all our glory...

Yes I have to say, those were some hats!! The funniest part of the whole thing....Mom O got so excited and tickled about these hats, that her treasured find of red shoes were missing!!! We looked, and looked, and got other people to help us look....and we could not find those shoes anywhere. AND THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANOTHER PAIR IN HER SIZE!!! So, we left with no hats, no red shoes......and a pretty goofy looking picture! But it sure was fun!!!

The boys had a good round on the course. They came in a little muddy and cold, but overall they said they had a good time. We finished the afternoon with a late lunch at BJ's, great food, hot coffee, and a time to visit! My parents headed back home after lunch and The Dowdney clan hung out the rest of the afternoon at home.

It's so good to be surrounded by family...especially mine!!! They are all so precious to me! It was fun and I can't wait until we all get together again! Who knows what outrageous find we will have to try on next time...... ~Kel

Change of Heart

2008-03-09T21:36:00.001-07:00

Today I was so feeling sory for myself. Given our dissappointning appointment last week, the stress of having to drop $$$$ on a refrigerator, my job, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness...I was just a little bummed out!! I get up this morning looking forward to a time of renewing in services...and wouldn't you know it.....BABY DEDICATION SUNDAY! Now, don't get me wrong. I do rejoice with the families and they are SOOOOO CUTE! But still there is a twinge of pain, an awareness of emptiness, and this morning the sadness was too much!! I felt horrible that it made me cry, so then I felt guilty. What kind of person am I that is filled with sadness when little children are dedicated to our LORD? So, my spirit was defeated and so I decided t descend to the bedroom for a long Sunday nap!!

Isn't funny how the spirit prompts and leads. I was checking my email before my nap and a lady that is on Young Life Committee sent a prayer request out for a little 11 yr old girl, Brielle, that is fighting Cancer. She attached her Blog and an emial from her mother. In the midst of my self created PITTY PARTY, my eyes were opened to an amazing little girl that is JOYFULLY fighting for her life....impacting people's life...leading them to the foot of the cross!! WOW, is that what the Father is calling me & David too? ....I pondered in silence and cried for forgivness. If Christ can suffer and die in order for us to be reconciled with the Father, how then can I complain and grumble at the frustrations of infertility? Becuase I am human, of theflesh, and Christ was God in flesh and perfect and holy! How I desire to be like Christ.

This is Brielle's mother's email....
“Mommy I wish it could be how it used to be! Why did God let me have cancer? How long will I have to be like this?” I felt my heart stop beating the second Brielle asked these three questions. In the darkness, I laid next to her on her bed, scratching her back and prayed, “Oh God, give me Your words to answer my daughters desperate questions. I said, “Brielle, I believe God puts us here on this earth for two very important reasons. The first is so that we would love Him, accept His Son, and receive the joy in serving Him with our whole heart, soul mind and strength. The second is so that we can share His love with others so that they could come to know Jesus as their personal Savior too. I know Brielle, that God is allowing you to go through this trial with cancer so that you can share the hope, strength and peace that only Jesus can give you in the midst of this circumstance. I absolutely believe Brielle, that God is going to bring people to want to accept Christ that never would have before, because of the Jesus they see in you!” Yesterday, the Kingdom of Heaven rejoiced! The words that the Lord gave me to comfort my daughter became living truth. A new friend of mine from FCS (Friends Christian School) named Chris came by our house to give Brielle a gift. When she was leaving, she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, “Brielle has helped me more than I can even begin to explain. I went through a terrifying experience with my son as an infant. I was angry, I blamed God, and had absolutely no peace or hope. I’ve seen how your family has been going through this experience with Brielle. You have peace, you have hope, you have joy and you are trusting God. I wish I could have had that, with the experience I had with my son. I feel like I’m really learning to pray for the first time, as I have been reading all of your e-mails. I want to know more, I feel God speaking to my heart. How does this all work? Right then and there, I grabbed Chris’s hands, and asked her if I could share with her what is means to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. With her immediate “YES” response, we walked hand-in-hand up my driveway, and into the house, and into the room we are re-doing as a home school place for Brielle. We shut the door, sat on the floor, smiled at each other and prayed. My heart was so full of joy, as the words of God’s hope, forgiveness of sin through the blood of Jesus, newness of life and eternal security in heaven, just came bubbling out. Excitement and laughter filled “Brielle’s room”. When we were finished praying, we opened the door and walked into the living room where Brielle and Kylin were on the couch watching TV. I looked at Brielle and told her we have a new sister is Christ. Ms. Chris accepted Jesus into her heart to be her Lord and Savior. See Brielle, remember when we talked the other night? Jesus is using your life story to bring others to want to know Him for the very first time! Kylin and Brielle gasped, smiled, and just started clapping heir hands. I have never seen Brielle look so excited! The feeling of thankfulness to God that overwhelmed me at that moment is impossible to express. On the very floor of the room that we are making over for Brielle, a new soul was won for our Lord Jesus Christ. God tenderly allowed Brielle to se His purpose and plan, during her time of affliction. John 5:24 “Most assuredly I say to you whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.” Lord God, You are our God. Our hope is in You. You will never leave us or forsake us. You will bring us through and we will praise Your name! -Lisa

May we bear our burdens with joy and suffer well so that others will see that in the midst of life's trajedy, only Christ can offer the peace that covers all of life's messy details that we do not understand. Like couples struggling with the desire of a baby and little Children of God undergoing Chemo and radiation! I know he hears and is carrying us all in the palm of his hands..may I just be still and know that HE is GOD and PRAISE BE that we do not serve a God of fear!

The Hits Just Keep On Coming...

2008-03-07T10:16:00.000-08:00

So, if it isn't one thing, its got to be something else. Kel and I had what the Dr's call our "3 Day" appoinment on Thursday morning. That just means she's on the third day of her cycle and they want to run a baseline of her hormone levels and what not to see where she stands. They also do an ultrasound and make sure everything is okay there. Well, during the ultrasound they found 2 cysts on her ovaries that are common enough not to raise a huge red flag, but definitely not something we want to have to contend with right now. Her blood work alos came back with high hormones, which are suppose to be suppressed right now from the meds. So, what this does is push us back about a week before we start phase 2 of shots and medication. Thus, next Thursday we will go back in to the Dr. and they will run the same tests and ultrasound to see how things are going. If her cycts are gone and her hormones are suppressed, then we will be able to go forward with stimulation. Otherwise, we have to cancel everything and start over next month!!

Then, the second round of shots came in the mail this morning, and it is necessary that we refrigerate them to keep them fresh. Kelli called me at work a few hours ago and mentioned that when she opened the door to the refrigerator, there was no cold, and our food was starting to get mushy. What does all that mean?!?! Looks like we get to go blow several hundred bucks on a new fridge. EXCITING!! That's exactly what I wanted to get to do this weekend. However, what I am clinging to is the FACT that the Lord will not give us a load that we can't carry. So, all I can do is laugh at the circumstances, maybe even cry just a little at the frustration, and pick my fat butt off the couch and get us a new fridge. In the meantime, please keep us in your prayers as our money really needs to be going to IVF to pay those Dr Bills and not random appliances! BUT but Lord knows nothing "normal" ever happens to us, especially when Kelli is involved. But I sure do love her anyway, despite that I know the abnormality is really with her and not myself!!! It sure is a good thing she married a patient man, if I do say so myself. :)

Scolded....

2008-03-04T21:55:00.000-08:00

Yes, today I was scolded by my husband. Why? ....for not blogging!! "Do you know how much stuff has happened since last Monday that you haven't written about? And I put the last two on there so it's your turn!!" AH...yes, and we think we're ready for kids!!! It's true though, I have to admit!! Last week was a hard week!! Having started the shots on Monday, by Wednesday night I was feeling really rough. I went to a Young Life bible study with some of the leaders and Committee women, and by the time I got home I had a small headache. Took some Tylenol and called it a day. I woke up around 1:30 having soaked the bed in a hard sweat, extremely nauseated, and a migraine. I moved to the couch for the rest of the night, next day, and following night. Lupron is used to shut down my pituitary gland and neutralize my gonadotropins, in effect create a menopausal environment. This will give me a constant level to start from to stimulate the needed levels of hormones to produce mature follicles to become eggs. I know...alot of terminology!! Anyway...bottom line, it made me sick as a dog. Mom said she doesn't feel sorry for me because she's been menopausal for years!!! :) So I spent Thursday - Sunday off and on with heating pads on my head and trying not to move. "Do I really want a baby THIS bad?"..yes, I asked myself that numerous times...and my answer is still yes!!

So, that is my excuse for not writing!! But here I am and feeling much better this week! And it's good because TODAY IS DAY 1 for THE BIG MONTH!! Yes, this is THE month all the action takes place. Week before last David & I attended our Embryology Class at Dallas Presbyterian Hospital. We were able to meet the Embryologist and his team that will be caring over our little embryo from the time the egg leaves me, meets her "perfect boy", and becomes a little embryo. We were able to watch footage of an actual Egg Retrieval, the stages that will take places as the egg is fertilized and develops, and instructed on how which egg(s) are determined will be the ones we implant. It was really exciting....and nerve racking. Just seeing all the 50+ steps and scenarios that have to be exactly right for this to happen. It really left us awe-struck that God's creation of life is such an amazing miracle!!! It was pretty awesome!!

So what's next? Day 3 is a crucial day in the process, so I will go in early Thursday morning for a Sonogram, E2 blood work, and baseline. The sono. is looking to make sure I have not developed any cysts, polyps, and my lining is good. Blood work and baseline will be used to project ovulation period and if a higher mg of meds may be needed to stimulate ovulation. So as of now....March 17 is our target date for Retrieval. YEAH...

We are excited!! We still have a few things that we need to have fall into place for this month. David will be working on the anesthesiologist an hospital pre-registration tomorrow and I have to order my next 3 injectable meds & syringes. Other than that, I think we are pretty good. Just ready to get this done!! Pray Pray Pray......however He leads your heart! We need all you can spare.

Kel

The Dowdney Baby Foundation...

2008-02-27T12:02:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, and some may not, IVF is VERY EXPENSIVE. So, Kelli and I were talking last night and decided that a wonderful way to raise money is thru a GARAGE SALE!! Yes, I said it - a GARAGE SALE! So, over the next couple of weeks, we will be ransacking our closets, garage, shed, tool box, attic, and where ever else we may have hidden treasures. For those who love us...feel free to contribute your worthless pieces of junk, as you never know, one man's junk is another man's treasure. HA! Anyways, the last time we tried this it was a total FIASCO!! We were in the process of moving from College Station up to Dallas, and thought it would be a good time to rid our lives of some clutter. In the process, we brought down a shelf that was hanging in the garage with a clothesline, lost our money bag for about 30 mins, got woken up by folks at 6am wanting to get this garage sale moving, sold an oven for $5, sold a dishwasher for $10, and Kelli sold her Eddie Bauer Backpack for $1...for those who don't know, Kel thought that bag was worth well over that amount, and it took us a while to get thru to her the "essence" of a garage sale. She thought it was more for making profits, when it's really more about getting rid of things. :) So, again, take a look thru some of your things and when you can fill a standard size box, feel free to bring it on over and contribute it to The Dowdney Baby Foundation's garage sale!! We'll be looking for ya!

Shot thru the heart, and you're to blame...

2008-02-25T21:10:00.000-08:00

So, tonight was to be the beginning of Kelli's Lupron shots...which had to be administered by me - her loving hubby. After a long day of work, and then an exciting evening of bringing the Message of the Lord to teenagers in Carrollton, I was looking forward to taking out my angst on El Wife' (pronounce El WEE fay - aka Kelli). After coming home and getting cleaned up with a shower, it was time. 10pm on the dot is the time Kel is supposed to take her shot. So, we get out the needle...a little intimidating, but nothing we can't handle. Then comes the Medicine and the cotton swab...again, piece of cake. Kel puts all three together, so to speak, and we are ready for the first of many shots. Well, after seeing the gleem in my eye at the opportunity to "make this happen," I can see she isn't quite ready for all of this. I think I even saw the thought cross her mind...."do I really want a baby this bad?" I tried a few different distraction techniques: calling the puppies into the room, showing her all the pictures of baby's we have on our fridge, and even making a dart reference (you know, taking the needle in hand, like a dart, and threatening to give it a toss at her belly from say 15 feet away, aiming for the bullseye). TO NO AVAIL. Kelli was pretty nervous about all this, as it isn't everyday you have to get a shot, and to that effect, one given by your husband. After several minutes of trying to psyche herself up, I told her that she just needed to suck it up and take one for the team. She did - LIKE A PRO - if I may say so myself. She let me pull her real close and in an instant it was all over. She even mentioned that she never even felt it once we were done. To be honest, it was all a little surreal. I don't think she had ever thought about her husband having to give her a shot, and I don't think I ever thought about having to give my wife a shot. Strange, but it's over...for tonight. We get to try it all over again tomorrow at 10pm sharp - that is if she can get over her fear for a second night in a row. Bring It!!