Lamentations 3

21 Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this:

22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
23 Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!”

25 The Lord is good to those who depend on him,
to those who search for him.
26 So it is good to wait quietly
for salvation from the Lord.

This precious verse was sent to me this morning and just really nailed exactly where my heart is. Our hope is in the Lord and HE is faithful.

Our visit today has been postponed but we have re-scheduled to tomorrow, which is much sooner that I was anticipating. We are meeting the case worker, and possibly the birth mom, at 11 am and will then head over to Cook's Childrens. We will meet with the doctors and nurses and then get to spend some time with the baby. We have recently learned that the doctors and staff are not being very cooperative with releasing information as there are so many people involved at this point. From the birth mom, to the agency, and CPS....now us. We are praying to establish good relationships with the doctors and that they will educate and communicate with us freely. The last update we received was last week ; A sonogram showed some slight brain abnormalities but a MRI would not be completed until he is term.

That's all I know for now......I am going to try to get out of the house for a little bit today. Still praying for what my next career move is.

Hospital Meeting

Today we received a call this afternoon from our case worker with Inheritance Adoptions, Leslie, that the birth mother is extremely sick with pneumonia. She will not be able to meet us tomorrow and, therefore, we will not be able go to the hospital. Leslie that she was about to call the hospital and see if there was a chance that they would let us see the baby at all.

Just got a follow up and it sounds like could get in to see him, but the doctors will not release any information until the birth mom lists me and David on the medical release paper. So, I'm waiting for David to get home to see what we're going to do. Leslie said that they are going to try for Friday to arrange another meeting so David will have to try again to get off work for Friday instead of tomorrow. We will have to see what happens....

Not much on the job front today. I had a few great leads that ended up closed doors. I am beginning to think that the Lord is REALLY moving me out of this industry that I have built my career in...for 13 years. I have no idea where he is moving me to or how I am going to contribute income to our family. I know that this is an extremely emotional journey and there is so much evidence of God's hand! Why do I doubt him?? If GOD can provide manna and doves in the wilderness every day for 40 years while the children of Israel wondered in the desert....what makes me think he will not provide for me? I think my struggle is that I want him to take care of me on a monthly and yearly basis instead of Day by Day! I want it all up front and where I can see the future. Flesh against spirit...

David just walked in....I love it when he finally gets home!!!

K

Therfore strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees

Life with the Dowdney's may become just a bit more interested very soon!! For those who are close friends and family you may be asking yourselves "How is that possible?" Well, grab a cup of coffee and your favorite pillow becuase we have a bit to share!! Since our last visit, we have had some changes so let me see where I left off at.......................ah yes....kicking off a new semester.

Looking at another full year as Younglife's WyldLife Director was on my mind a bit. YoungLife is probablly one of the things I am most passionate about. However, my job had really become overwhelming. After some conversations and prayer time, it was evident that I needed a change. I started interviewing and preparing thinking I'll find something else first, then leave. That's the responsible thing to do. The morning of my very first WyldLife Kickoff Leadership meeting I was called into a meeting that resulted in an involuntary resignation. At first this was very painful but God has just showed me so many things during this time. My priorities had really fallen short of my calling that God has placed on my life. I had not been a good wife or mother or friend....or daughter of the King!! Every area of my life had suffered becuase of this Job!!! I couldn't put my finger on it at the time, but David & I kept saying that God was moving me for a reason..we just didn't know why!

Well, the reason started to become apparant two weeks ago when we received an emai from some dear friends of ours. The email was regarding an adoption opportunity... for twins. Our hearts were drawn immediately, as during the last miscarriage we had heard two heartbeats. We received the email on MOnday, visited with the Case Worker on Tuesday, and by Thursday we both felt that we should complete the application and proceed. Neither one of us knew what our involvement would end up looking like but we did know that we felt we were again being called into a situation for a purpose.

We learned that the babies were due in December, however, it had been an extremely difficult pregnancy due to the birth mother's continued drug use. The case worker started preparing us for biracial, special needs TWINS! We knew it was crazy...we didn't know where the money would come from....neither of us are prepared to be a special needs parent! But we just had this ...thing, in our hearts that told us to trust and follow.

Last Saturuday while I was in Palestine visiting my parents we received a phone call from the case worker. The twins had been born the night before and one had not made it. The other twin was going to Cook's but it didn't look good at all! Through the week, we received updates regarding the baby and prayed as to what our next step would be. The case worker said if we wanted to wait until he was term and the health was determined, we could definitely do that. The baby had tested positive for drugs and being so premature, his future was just so uncertain. But something just kept tugging our hearts. This was a little baby fighting for life and survival. He needed a family...a mother to pray for him and a father to hold his hand.

Friday morning when David was leaving for work we both felt that we needed to make a decition. We thought about how Christ didn't wait to see if we were going to be good or healthy before he chose the nails for our eternal salvation. He loved us despite all of our special needs. And do we not serve a God that is big enough to heal? A few hours after he left he texted me "I think we have our answer...turn to Hebrews 12:12. I ran downstairs to our bedroom and grabbed my bible..."Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed." The Holy Spirit just used this verse to confirm His calling. We felt that we needed to let the case worker know there were not "If's" or "Maybe's"...our baby had been born on September 19th and was at Cook's Childrens fighting for survival. The case worker allowed us to complete the Home Study on Saturday so that we could schedule our initial visit to the hospital.

We are planning on meeting the case worker and doctors on Wednessday for the first time. We have lots of questions for the doctors and can't wait to see this little baby. Nothing has been finalized, we are still waiting on the paperwork and home study to be completed. We also have to meet the birth mom. CPS is involved due to the nature of the condition of the babies when they were born and will be handeling the birth mom's future involvement.

We are asking for prayers for Baby Dowdney at this time. Please pray for complete healing and protection and he continues to grow. We are praying that he will not have any brain damage while he is going through withdrawls and the his little body continues to develope. We are thankful that he is in a safer environment now so that he can continue to develope.

We are so thankful for all of our friends and family that have loved us over the past 8 years as we have waited. We love you more than I express.

Kelli