Answer to Prayer

    You know those old cartoons, kinda like Tom & Jerry, when someone gets an idea and a light bulb appears over their head. I totally experienced that yesterday morning driving home from church.  It really was like a light bulb was turned on and I had a "Well, DUH!!! " Don't you just love those moments.
     David and I had completed our last infertility treatments back in July of last year. We decided that we would "recover" physically, emotionally, and let our marriage breath, if you will, before we moved forward with adoption. We both really wanted to be called into adoption instead of just jumping in with both feet. We wanted the Lord to call us into adoption, instead of that being our solution to get a baby. We wanted to wait upon the Lord and his timing.  So, in January we started to request adoption packets and gather information.  When the informatoin came, those packets sat on the kitchen table for months and months.  I, more so that David, was extremely convicted that we would have a unique situation. My hearts desire was to be called to a certain baby or birth mom...that we would not go through the cattle-herding process of a traditional agency. Not that those are bad by any means!! I just wanted a personal experience...I wanted to know that God had called me and David to love and raise THIS particular child.  I remember telling David once "But how can I possibly choose one Adoption Agency and send in one application? What if I choose agency A and God has my baby at agency B!" That is actually what was going through my mind. Like I was big enough or important enough to interfere with the God of the universe and His plan for our family!
     So we began to pray that God would call us to a specific baby.  We wanted God's glory and providence to be evident and His name to be exhaulted through our journey.  Well....wanted and still want! :)  We wanted it to be "God gave David & Kelli a baby" instead of  "Kelli and David adopted a baby!"  So knowing that this was our prayer, why is it such a suprise that we are in the middle of the story that we are in?  Why has my flesh complained and fought against what I prayed God would do through us? Becuase it's not HOW I wanted to God to "show up?"  ugh....I have so much to learn!
     Essentially, I have asked Jesus if I could be the follower to walk on water. "Let your glory and power be known by calling me to walk on water, that the world will see your amazing power and providence!"  So Jesus shows up, like he normally does when we call out His name. So he show up and asks us to take a chance on a little baby that has been given no chance at all.  He calls us to walk on water by adoption a baby that was born 15 weeks early and tested positive for drugs.  So he calls me. He calls me to get out of the boat and follow him to walk on water. To walk a road that I have never walked and that is scarry and to a place where I don't know where to place my next footing will be.   THIS IS WHAT I PRAYED FOR! Yet, for some reason I have remained in the boat.  I mean, seriously why would you WANT to get out of a perfectly good boat! I know this boat and it's familiar to me and safe...and there is nothing wrong with this boat! Why would I risk getting out of the boat at the possibility that I might sink?
     This morning God really used this story to speak to me.  See, when Peter was in the boat he felt safe becuase he was placing his confidence in the ability of the boat. When he was walking on water, his confidence was relying on the ability of Jesus. Where do we put our hope? It would be so easy for me and David to simply say that this baby is too much trouble..too many unknowns.  We don't have to adopt this sick little baby that seems to have the world against it! Plus, we have a good, easy life now.  This is a good comfortable boat that we are on!!  BUT....when Jesus called us everything changed.  We are called not to lean into our own understanding but to rely on the promise that He will never leave or forsake us.  That there IS healing power simply by touching the hem of His garment and if we will humble ourselves and pray...He will heal our land! That at the moment we are most terrified and scared and in the most vulnerable place we have ever been....miracles will happen.  People will see and know that our God is a living and powerful God that is still in the business of miracles.......that people still walk on water through the power of Jesus Christ.

  So we are stepping out of the boat! This entire strory is excatly what we prayed for.  So I will not be anxious or stressed or upset! I will not let the enemy steal my joy! We are boldy praying for healing.  But that healing might be in Brayden's little body or it might be that God will use Brayden throughout his life to heal a broken and unbelieving generation that has yet to come.  God is sovereign and we rest in his providence. Whatever that road might look like, however ever scary or unknown, he will raise up angels and believers to guide and support us along the way! Regardless, we will praise the name of Jesus.

Our son, Brayden Jackson Dowdney, was born September 19th, 2009 at 2 lbs and 1 ounce. He is currenly at Cook Children's in Ft. Worth and weighs 3 lbs.  Please continue to pray for healing of the White Matter in his little brain! We can't wait for Brayden to come home and meet all his family & friends! He is already a very blessed little boy!              
 Oh my goodness......WE HAVE A SON!! 

Kelli
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